Lucius Journal 34: Lucifer Helps Me Write a Song 2


Me and Father have been working together in music. We have constructed another song together. He wanted me to share it.

Let me just say that it is truly an honor to be “in the studio” with the man himself. To be working with him is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

He also mentioned that he wanted me to document my thought process in this song’s creation. I guess for future reference? He wanted me to write out exactly what we were both intending in the making of this song.

I also wanted to inform people that I will be taking a good break from all spirit work for a while, and focus only on music. I still need to meet the spirits halfway. I wanted to give the forum one last post before I did though. So I may not be posting for a length of time (I’ll still be snooping around the forum!) And now that the spiritual “politics” have calmed down, I feel it is only right for me to keep away from severe magickal workings for a while. Members of the forum, friends, and even Lucifer and Lilith insisted I do. So… :man_shrugging:

Here is the link to the song:

And if anyone is interested in the details, the following is the entire creation/thought process, as Lucifer asked me to post:


Overall Goal

You might have noticed that I’ve changed genres.

If you read my last “Lucifer Helps Me Write a Song”, the genre was more along the lines of hip-hop. A sad and melodic “innocent” version of it.

This really didn’t sit with me well, to be honest.

My heart…my entire being…has always been attracted to all forms of rock music. It’s inherent in my being. I’ve actually been thinking of doing it for a while. For my whole life. Ever since I was a child.

In one of my past lives I was a musician. And I did a form of rock. I was a huge influence. So I suppose that’s where this inherent desire to make the genre comes from.

You may ask, why had I not done so in the first place then? Why did I decide to do hip-hop?

I have nothing against hip hop. I actually love it. In fact, the variant of rock that I do is more of a perfect blend between the two genres. But…the issue lies in the color of my skin.

There is a stigma, at least where I’m from, that black people shouldn’t listen to and/or make forms of alternative rock. it’s seen as…weird. This one time, my African-american friends asked what I listened to most of the time. So I decided to be honest and see how they would react.

They laughed and mocked me.

It kinda hurt… not gonna lie. But I guess the good news is that after that, they were no longer my “friends”. I had cut them off. Ever since then, I decided to remain silent about what really attracts me, musically. Even going as far as pretending to like music that I did not like at all. NBA Youngboy is quite popular in my area. All of my friends listen to him. I don’t like his music, to be honest. Never did. As a person though, I guess he’s alright. He’s doing his thing and that’s all that matters.

I did only the rap scene for over 3 years, just to try and “fit in”. it never really worked out, because rapping about weapons, robbing houses, fucking bitches, and going out and gang-banging never connected to me. I come from a middle-class family, haha. I’ve never robbed a person in my life. It sounded fake, you know? A facade. I was trying to follow the mainstream. Follow the herd.

I’m honestly sick of it now, and I had decided to switch it up and do my own thing. I still love it though, and I want to try to mix the two genres together perfectly. It’s an idea that I had ever since I was a child. Most likely, it comes from a past life.


Emotional Release

I am fucking angry.

I get mad. A lot. Too much to be considered normal, honestly. There’s so much… subconscious rage. Some of it comes from my spiritual nature. Some of it comes from the fact that I’m on Earth. Some of it comes from childhood events. The point is, I have a lot of emotional problems.

I found that forms of rock act as an excellent expression of emotion, arguably more than hip hop does (though it has its place). Lucifer pointed this out, as well. Which is why he insisted that I do what I truly desired and switch to a mix of hip hop and rock.

He himself noticed that I have emotional issues. But I did not know how to express them without fighting someone or causing trouble. He told me that such emotions can be transmuted through music. It can act as a sort of “catharsis”. But… I had issues doing this. I just can’t seem to get angry until someone actually makes me angry. We decided to continue trying this through this song. He noticed this while I was recording.

Lucifer: Lucius. Stop.
Me: What?
Lucifer: That… was god-awful.
Me: :frowning_face: Damn…
Lucifer: I don’t mean that to be offensive, Lucius. But you’re not trying hard enough. I know you can do better. You’re suppose to sound pissed, but for this take you sounded incredibly monotone… what is going on?
Me: I can’t get angry on my own, Father. Someone has to genuinely piss me off. I didn’t even think I had that much anger, to be honest…
Lucifer: Lucius, you have so much anger residing inside of you that it’s scaring me. It’s all within you. You’re just repressing it. You use it at the wrong times, times that only cause you more trouble.
Me: How do you know I have so much within me?
Lucifer: I can literally see it.

I think for a moment.

Me: You’re right…I’m sorry Father.
Lucifer: You need to learn how to harness this energy and use it to your benefit. Instead of letting it control you, you will be able to control it. To direct it using your Will. You can’t keep letting it build up like that. Plus, for this style of music, you need it. You can’t be so monotone.
Me: How can I do this?
Lucifer: Close your eyes.

I close them.

Lucifer: Now I want you to imagine your body, okay? And imagine the anger you have within it. It is energy that can be harnessed.
Me: How do I “imagine” my anger?
Lucifer: Just use your intention. It is enough. Focus your consciousness on it. What do you see?
Me: I… its’ red. Is it suppose to be red? Its flowing through my body. Like smoke. And yeah…it’s a lot.
Lucifer: This is good! Keep focusing on it. How do you feel?

I noticed that I began to feel angry, even though I was not. It was such an odd feeling. It was a weird mix of “I want to kill someone” and “I actually don’t want to kill someone”.

Me: I feel angry. But I’m not?
Lucifer: This is emotional energy. It will take some getting use to. Symptoms of anger are beginning to manifest. You’re getting more pissed, aren’t you?
Me: Yeah. It’s weird… what do I do?
Lucifer: Now direct all of this energy to your throat chakra. Let it all build there. We’re going to use this energy for your vocals.
Me: My throat is burning now??
Lucifer: This is normal. Now that it is there, I want you to try your line again. But as you do, I need you to imagine this energy “shooting out” from your throat chakra, out of your mouth, in a “beam”.
Me: Like the “firing my lazar” meme?
Lucifer: A bit like that, yes. As you say the line, visualize all of that energy you’ve just built up shooting out.

So I say the line, but I choke and cough.

Lucifer: No no! Don’t hold it in like that. You’re going to burn out your throat chakra! You want to store the energy in this spot, but then push it out like a beam. Think of it like a gun. It is similar to loading a firearm and pulling the trigger. Try it again.

I tried his technique again. This time, I screamed so loud that I scared myself. But after…I felt relieved. It was a small catharsis.

Me: Holy Shit! What was that!?
Lucifer: Anger! Finally! That is what I want to hear from you.
Me: That is what was in me?
Lucifer: Yes! And you’ve finally properly tapped into it. Now you can transmute this energy into song.
Me: I’m feeling better now. Its so weird…
Lucifer: It can be a huge stress reliever. Holding all of your emotions in like that is unhealthy. This will give you a means of expressing them. Now that you have this, let me teach you something else…


Lucifer: Erase those lyrics.
Me: Are you sure?
Lucifer: I’m sure. We are trying something else. Keep the chorus. Everything else must go.

I erase everything but the chorus.

Lucifer: We’re going to write new lyrics. But this time, we will do it purely based on your emotions.
Me: What must I do?
Lucifer: Imagine all of that angry-energy again. But this time, don’t direct it anywhere. Just let it build up in your body. Feel it.

I do this.

Me: I’m feeling mad again.
Lucifer: Good. Now write.
Me: Write? That’s all? Are you sure?
Lucifer: Yes. Feel this energy, and write whatever comes to your mind.
Me: Literally just “write”?
Lucifer: Yes. Write whatever comes to you. Put it on paper.

I spend the next 10 minutes doing this.

10 Minutes Later

Me: Father…what the fuck are these lyrics?
Lucifer: What do you mean?
Me: “Drink the blood of my enemies”? “Put a bullet through my fucking brain”? Where the hell did these even come from?
Lucifer: Your subconscious. It was all repressed in there.
Me: But these are so dark!
Lucifer: That is a good thing Lucius. You’re bringing such things to light. They were staying hidden in the deepest recesses of your mind.
Me: But am I really this naturally pissed?
Lucifer: Unfortunately. It is just part of your nature. Just as your sexual desires are. But both of these can be harnessed and controlled, instead of them controlling you. You have just done this.
Me: But can we really put these through song?
Lucifer: Indeed we can. You see, Lucius, you are not the only angry person in this world. In fact, most of everyone is a little angry. This world isn’t very nice, and people are upset about that. Whether they’d like to admit it or not. The Deep Mind does not lie. But emotions have a tendency to connect people. That’s why when you cry with another person, you feel more bonded to them. Anger is the same way. It can unite people. It always has. That is why there are riots. People who are angry about the same thing come together to solve the issue. It is human nature.
Me: What does this mean for me?
Lucifer: You hate life. You think this world is a prison for yourself. You hate the government. You hate being told what to do.You want to be free to do as you wish, and for others to do the same. And you’re angry at humanity for not waking up and realizing their birthright to be free. You like sex. You like being reckless. Tell me…do you really not think others feel the same way?
Me: …good point…
Lucifer: Especially your generation. My goodness…they give me hope. I’ve never seen more free-thinkers in this world than now. Hopefully it only improves. You can connect to such people through your anger. They can connect to you. It can bring you all together.
Me: Like a sort of rebellion?
Lucifer: Haha, well…hopefully not a chaotic one. Let’s continue.


Major distortion. You’ve probably noticed that the song is extremely distorted in every way, shape, and fashion.

This was done intentionally. Lucifer wanted us to do a complete “sonic manifestation” of my anger. To symbolize all of the fury that I have in one song. We both agreed that distortion, glitchy effects, and synthesized, non-realistic instruments would be the best way. The entire song, every instrument, every word…is a conglomeration of what I am inside. You may see from the chorus that there is a sort of “balance” within the song. It goes from chaotic to melodic and beautiful, and then towards the end it combines the two polarities. This was actually Father’s idea. He wanted to show beauty in both polarities: order and chaos. He wanted me to express this dynamic within myself, but also within himself and his multiple aspects. Both of us have a tendency to be wrathful, but we can also be beautiful and innocent.

Lilith, as well, for those who have read of my experiences with her. Funny how all three of us share these tendencies.

The drums. Me and Father wanted to find drums that would complement both hip-hop and rock genres. We needed something with the “thump” of hip-hop, but the click and hardness of top-notch acoustic drums. After some experimentation, we decided that Dubstep drums were best for this, as they seem to be a perfect blend of the two drum types. Not to mention that they are usually synthesized, which is the sound we were going for. We put these under a regular bass guitar, and arranged them in a hip-hop beat fashion.

The guitars. Okay…so upon listening to this track, some of the more experienced metal-heads here probably noticed that the guitars don’t sound authentic.

Now, please don’t attack me :laughing:. They’re not. They’re from a cheap, free computer program.

I’ve actually had some conflict with Lucifer on this one. I wanted to just spend the money on a high-quality guitar program. Hundreds of dollars for a good, realistic-sounding one. But he insisted that we stick with the cheap artificial-sounding one. He says that it captures the sound we are looking for perfectly. Since it is cheap and synthetic, it has the distorted “artificial” effect that we are looking for, which would express my rage. He intended for it to sound like it was made on a computer program.

We also thought about this: the progression of hip-hop has begun to have more distorted , glitchy 808’s. It exploded with XXXTENTACION, who used it to his advantage in his music, to express his anger. Me and Lucifer noticed a progression, that the bass in hip-hop is beginning to sound more and more like a hard electric guitar, as the years go by. Artists like Scarlxrd and Nascar Aloe have such a distorted bassline, almost at its limit for hip-hop standards. So me and Father decided to take it a step further, and just replace the 808 with a highly distorted, cheap electric guitar and a regular acoustic bassline. It actually worked out well.

The Piano. My favorite part of this song. You probably noticed that it’s the only realistic sounding instrument in the song. At least by industry standards, it is…

To Father, the piano symbolizes innocence. To me it symbolized beauty. When I listen to it, I think of Mother. The original intent was to leave the chorus without a piano., but Father insisted that we add a realistic one in. This would be, in his words, “a way to balance the two polarities, uniting them as one”. The piano sounds fucking beautiful over a distorted guitar. So we used it to represent the beauty in ourselves, regardless of our chaotic flaws. The light and dark…the yin and yang. These are polarities that I find across the Infernal Realm, and within myself. I can be wrathful, but I can also be innocent, which the piano represents. Combining this and the chaotic guitar shows a union between these two opposites.

The Ending. At the part when the piano switches its melody, I didn’t actually “write down” these lyrics. They came by subconscious intervention. Lucifer did not want me to write lyrics for this part. What he had me do was listen to what I already had in full, and “charge myself up” with anger throughout the duration of the song. And then when this part came, let out whatever I had within me. A sort of… “nuclear bomb”.

I remember that it was as if I was possessed. I was full of so much emotion…so much pain, and I let it all out, losing part of my consciousness in the process. Like a sort of “channeling session”. I was completely over-taken by my emotions, and even had tears flowing from my eyes. But instead of wasting them, I directed this emotional intensity into the mic, revealing the deepest desires and feelings of my subconscious mind… And it just so happens I was screaming about wanting to be free. We decided to name the song “Freedom” after this.


After, I felt incredibly relieved. As if an energy had been lifted. I had released something; a tsunami of deeply repressed emotions.

And it felt good.

Me: Oh my god…oh my god, Father…that was great. Holy SHIT I feel good!
Lucifer: Don’t you? Feels like something has been released, doesn’t it?
Me: Yes! Oh wow, thank you so much!
Lucifer: Of course, Lucius. What do you say we continue sticking with this formula? We can experiment further later on, as well.
Me: I like it! This entire song…it just sounds “angry”.
Lucifer: It is your essence…but in musical form. You could say that you took a part of yourself and transmuted it into sound.
Me: Oh goodness…you’re just amazing. Just amazing. There’s no other being in this universe like you. You’re beautiful.
Lucifer: No need to flatter me, Lucius. I just want to spread enlightenment to people like you.

I plan on sticking with this style from now on. Doing 100% traditional hip hop is not something I connect with. At this point in my journey, I think it’s safe to say that I will probably never fit in with the rest of human society ever again. So I might as well fully “do me”, right? This style is something that’s been with me since birth. And honestly, I’d rather be free than try to fit in.

Thanks for reading.

  • Lucius

Haters will say that the previous journals was just a next level promo for your mixtape :joy:. For real tho that sounded really good, especially the harsh vocals. Keep it up my dude, you are doing it !!!

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Haha, thanks for the feedback my friend :heart:

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@LuciusOfficial How does peace feel? :smiley:

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Like true Freedom. :slightly_smiling_face:


On fire man… :fire:

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Idk what he has you going for but if you were in a metal band you would make it real big honestly not many of us can scream like that it sounds good just toooooo dark for my taste

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How many years you been singing?

Sorry I’m late! I ran here as fast as I could when I saw the title! heavy breathing and trying to catch my breath


Not too long tbh… 2 years :slightly_smiling_face:


I hope you have a good technique to do this vocals without hurting yourself, your “normal voice” sounded a little bit tense to me.

Haha, a work in progress :slightly_smiling_face:


Congratulations on your freedom Lucius! Also awesome song.

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Ask Lucifuge to help with the hook.:metal: seriously…

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its funny how in the song you sound like a dark individual, in reality youre humble as hell, just have aggravations within

Bahaha yeah. I’ve noticed that among musicians that create tracks like this. In music they have some of the darkest lyrics and “evil” (big air-quotes) songs, but when you talk to them in real life they are some of the chillest (and nicest) people to be around.

Works like these are an emotional release, really. As well as a form of art.

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my past music was kinda the same, i havent done much lately with my music though

i was kinda glad you got your song letter from heaven, back on list

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Wow I so cried happy like a few secs in. I can relate so fucking much, thank you father and thank you brother for putting it out there :slight_smile: I’m so weirdly happy and powered up now :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: