Lucius Journal 10: Azazel

Hello, everyone. Lucius here.

I had completed my evocation of Azazel this morning. A few weeks ago, he taught me exercises I could do to train my senses even further. He wants me to take them to the next level. He stated that he wanted to see me again in two weeks to test my senses. To see if I had taken him and his training seriously.

Well, today was exactly two weeks, and I evoked him this morning.

He appeared to me as his original satyr form. This was different from the form he appeared to me when he was training me…the form of a gentle teacher. I could tell now, that he was serious this time.

Azazel: Are you ready, Lucius?
Me: Yes sir.
Azazel: Good. Let us begin.

I can tell now, after so many evocations, that the demons (I hate calling them that now, but they don’t mind. I will use it for this sake) have become more comfortable with revealing themselves to me and interacting with me and my environment. When I felt his presence, it was even stronger than the last evocation. Like a physical person, or when you know someone is near you. In the corner of the room, I saw a physical shadow with my physical eyes; a silhouette of a person. It kind of freaked me out, but I didn’t pay attention to it.

I have a blackout curtain in my ritual space. It was partially open, allowing some sunlight to come through the dark room. When Azazel said “let us begin”, the candle light popped and went very high where he was located. The curtain…slowly closed until the room became dark. By itself.

This freaked me out.

Me: (nervous, heavy breathing) Fuck…fuck…shit…
Azazel: Calm down, boy. Sit.

I sit immediately, more out of fear.

Azazel: You are in this path deeply now. There is no need to be afraid of my presence. As I said, let’s begin.

[AFTER THE TEST]

Azazel: My, my…So, you have been practicing. Quite diligently, it seems.
Me: Was that good?
Azazel: That was…excellent, Lucius. You have proven your dedication, and you have earned my full trust.
Me: (relived) haha, that’s good. Thank you. You know, I wouldn’t be here today if you hadn’t told me to trust what I see. Months ago you appeared, and I thought I was going mad. I thought I should go to a mental hospital. When you said that I should trust what I see, there was a small portion of me that said perhaps I’m not crazy. Perhaps, I’m just spiritually gifted.
Azazel: And you are. I knew that sooner or later, you’d find out. Now, keep doing the exercises I have given you. In terms of ‘feeling’, I need you to take this to the next level. More than you already have.
Me: Certainly. What needs to be done?
Azazel: I want your senses to open tremendously. That can not be done to our expected liking without assistance from other forces.
Me: Hmm…what are you suggesting?
Azazel: Lucius. I need you to summon a succubus. In your ritual space. With you.
Me: …so, you want me to summon a succubus, and have intercourse with her in my ritual space?
Azazel: Yes.
Me: Well, Look…I’m not going to question it. I love the idea. But how does Lilith feel about it?
Azazel: I have already spoken with her. She happily agreed. You, of all people, should enjoy it.
Me: Alright. I’ll do it.
Azazel: Next week. Sunday.
Me: Sunday. Got it.

[A FEW MINUTES INTO FURTHER CONVERSATION]

Me: Can I ask you something before you go?
Azazel: I suppose I have a few more minutes.
Me: You’re smart, Azazel. I want to hear your opinion. It’s been on my mind for the longest time and I’ve been meaning to ask you. Do you think our world still has a chance?
Azazel: A chance, hm?
Me: Yes. For all of this stuff to be fixed.
Azazel: (brief silence) So let me get this right… you think that a world full of a distracted, spiritually dumbed down population, wars, racism, terrorism, sexism, and a small pack of psychopaths at the top of the hierarchy, has a small chance to be saved?
Me: Well, I didn’t say-
Azazel: Saved by who?
Me: I don’t kn-
Azazel: By you? Alone?
Me:
Azazel: You feel as though you can save this world, don’t you? Deep down…
Me: I feel as though I can at least assist in telling the masses what is truly going on.

When I said that, Azazel let out a huge laugh; the kind where someone tells you the funniest joke. The candles started popping.

Azazel: Lucius, I’ve been watching you since birth. You have good intentions, and you have a big heart. I respect, and admire that. But you are also foolish to think that you can save this world, and that these people will listen to you. Especially after what happened in your childhood. Have you forgotten?
Me: No, I didn’t.

The candle flames went high now. The highest that they had ever been, almost physically impossible. The energy in the room went high. This time, Azazel sounded frustrated.

Azazel: Jordin H___, the boy who was bullied through childhood. The boy who nobody understood. The boy who was incredibly lonely. The boy who was outcasted by everyone but his immediate family. The boy who feels like a ghost in the world. The boy…who nobody ever listens to…thinks that he should save this world. Little does he know that his heart is what is getting in his way.
Me: What’s wrong with being a good person?
Azazel: There is nothing wrong with it, Lucius. The problem is that you’re too good, for this world, at least. I’ve watched you for ages now. Even when people put you down, even when people made you feel like you were worthless. I witnessed it all. You came to this path because while you were good deep down, you were fed up with the world. You were fed up with how people treated you. You were fed up with losing. You tried to be good, and you know this. It never worked out, and you started to question whether it was still worth it…Whether the masses deserved a savior in the first place. Should I be good and face suffering and ridicule? Or should I go bad and finally get something out of a twisted prison planet? You thought choosing the latter would make you seem emotionally weak. Yet you felt as though you didn’t have a choice.
Me:
Azazel: then, you finally became fed up. You started to hate the world because of what people did to you. You turned dark. You told yourself that if people didn’t want to be helped, then you were going to turn to the dark side. And you did. As dark as it sounds…this world turned you from a good-hearted person, into a monster.
Me:
Azazel: I thought you’d realize that by now. That’s why you came to us. You thought that we could help you gain power. You wanted it all: money, sex, authority…the hatred got so bad that you wanted to become God. And now, you say that you want to help people see the truth. You say that you want to save this world, even after what it did to you. Look around you…does the world look like it wants to be saved?
Me:…no…
Azazel: I know that it’s a dark place out there, Lucius. But you’re better off not wasting your time. You have a good heart, but its getting in the way of what you really desire. Good people do exist, but there are too few on Earth for it to be considered a paradise. And as the masses continue to over-indulge in mindless behaviors instead of choosing to see the big picture, it will only get worse. If I were you, I’d stop being so nice, and I’d let this world go…wouldn’t want to be taken advantaged of again. Remember: you’re one of us now. We only want to see you grow in power. And sometimes, you need get a little dark to do so. So Don’t be a hero.

I still sat silent. The candle flames calmed down now.

Azazel: Now, I never want to have that conversation with you again, understand?
Me: (nervously) Yes sir.
Azazel: I will see you again in two weeks. Do as I requested.

He left after that and the room returned to normal. It had to be the most energy-filled evocation thus far. Thanks for reading!

  • Lucius
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