I say small ritual because I’m doing everything in secret and it’s not that easy doing the rest of the ritual that I was intended to do. (I still live with my parents, trying to save money while going to college since it’s literally 5 minutes of away by foot)
Anyways, last night was a bit different. As someone who’s trying to do everything in secret, I literally just about have my voice and my faith in Lucifer. I called out to him, not in the way of “please show yourself”. But acknowledging him, while asking for help without having the “give and return”. I don’t know how to describe it, but I’m just trying to say that I wasn’t calling in a “begging” manner. After doing that, I just closed my eyes and decided to meditate. Whenever I did this right before going to sleep, I just ended up falling asleep. I asked to let me now his presence if he’s here. At about 15 minutes, I saw an outline of a face while my eyes were closed. Suddenly feeling fear, I tried my best to remain calm. I deemed this fear as normal because as human instincts, we are afraid of the unknown at first. I keep repeating a few times, to let me know his presence if he’s here. I don’t remember the time frame very well as most of it was blurred, but it was probably an hour later that I randomly started to astral projecting. It has been a while, so I forgot about the “drop” you feel/hear before it actually happens. I refused, basically giving into fear. I woke up, blinked and took a deep breath. It’s over right? Well, that’s what I assumed. I don’t know how else to explain it, but that “drop” feeling kept happening. It’s something you normally feel before you achieve astral projection. I couldn’t sleep that night at all, by the time it was 4 am (like I said time just felt blurred, so I don’t know the exact time, even though I had a digital clock but it was far away from my bedside) I was exhausted. 30 minutes later is when I actually fell asleep.
Although the astral projection was not intended to happen, I by self-judgment do need to still learn more. Although it does feel like I know a lot, there’s always something new to learn. I do apologize if it was actually Lucifer calling and I may have missed it. I do have to know how to withstand that “by instinct fear”. It really seems like it’s getting in the way whenever I tried to spiritually connect.
It’s getting late over here, I should sleep in a moment. Goodnight everyone.