Lost in the dark

That’s a good idea. Meditation is a life long pursuit, so even once you complete the Kundalini using Morris’ instructions, daily meditation should be a habit.

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This is the finished pad 9’x9’. 9 is a nice number right lol. I will dig it the ground and put gravel then sand before replacing the bricks to keep it level. Rose’s will go around it to start a garden.

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Last night was a very good meditation session. Holding my posture was a big of a struggle. My knees did not want to bend properly. I struggled with that for about 15 minutes before saying fuck it and moving to a comfortable cross legged position.

Last nights first meditation session was a chakra healing meditation. I ended up engraving my personal sigil into each of my chakra with gold lines. After doing so on my root chakra I got a weird vision of either a bunch of the same kind of snakes or one really large snake coiled around itself. I didnt lose my visions of my chakra but my chakras background turned into that of snakes wiggling around each other.
The odd part for me is this is the first time I’ve had visions play into my meditation session. I’ve not the foggiest as to what it means but I’m taking it as a sign that it was the correct path. Oh also once I finished my personal sigil on my root chakra is started to glow with a red radiance. That I also didnt Invision and it did on its own… I think lol.
Next I moved up to my next chakra and did the same engraving and recieved the same glow. I could feel energy radiating off this chakra from the front of my navel all the way to the back of my spine. It kind of came with a swirling sensation. I spent way too much time focusing on these sensations that my guided meditation got away from me and it was half way through the solar plex chakra before I noticed.
I continued the same process of engraving my gold sigil into my solar plex and it radiating with power after done.
The heart chakra came quickly as I was in catchup mode, same process and nothing new to speak of. When I got to my throat chakra, after the sigil engraving and glowing i noticed i had a large tingling sensation on the back of my right shoulder. Maybe a hand resting there, I’m not certain but i could feel its intensity for about 30 seconds as the sensation started to fade i hear two noises out of my right ear that did not belong. The noise sounded feminine to me and was like a neither a whistle nor a humming sound. But also at the same time it was both of those together… not sure how to explain it, but that is my very first instance of clairaudiance as I know the sound was external to me and came from nothing around me. This totally took my attention away from the guided meditation. I let my mind release the joy of hearing and got back on task. I got back just in time to move to my third eye. Nothing to report here.
Moving my internal observations to my crown. I felt an intense energy there, there was a pressure and it felt like ants danced on top of my skull pressing down on my crown creating this pressure.

Next I moved to EA’s black mist meditation. So when meditating inside I do it next to my bed on the floor. This is the south side of the room so when I faced south I basically was kissing my wall/window. I started Invisioning the room. I’m apparently crap at this as everything looked like I was in an episode of “home movies” it’s a very poorly drawn show that is squiggly lines all over the place. That’s how everything looked. Nothing was straight and of poor quality. There was no color, everything was sorta made out of television static. But also the static had shading If that makes any sense lol. So when the black mist showed up(this feels 100% generated by me and not external forces) it was more like a black goop that was sentient. It reminded me of sentient goo from venom the movie. It was shooting all over my room. I watched this for a while until boredom started to set in and I needed to move my position.

After that I tried to open a sigil to lilith which did open very fast, my issue with that was as soon as the sigil would flash or start to fade. My eyes would dry out and burn forcing me to blink… every damn time, I got mad lol. So the last time I did it I just shut my eyes and talk to her. Told her that I want to talk to her and also remember my dreams again. For ages I have tried not to remeber my dreams. I had a lot of night terrors after coming back from war. It was hard to deal with so I tried my best to no longer remember in my sleep. Which I got really good at. Now I want to remember so I can heal it.

Well I believe she listened, last night I dreamed and it was a cool one.

So I’m in my corporate office (my building has a glass exterior) I’m on my 8th floor and rebecca is there. Apparently we work together and are still in a relationship. There are not desk or pc monitors or anything. It’s a huge open space with windows on all sides. We get a warning that we need to move away from the windows due to a tornado. Ofcourse everyone runs right to the windows so they can get s better view. These windows are rated up to an f5, I see our sister tower south tower is starting to lose windows. I grab Rebecca’s hand and drag her to the far side of the building and up against the opposite set of windows. I tell her to cover her face and head and I shield her with my body in the corner. I watch as all the windows on the opposite side get sucked out and two tornados go right between our buildings. Someone is telling everyone to move toward the blown out windows. I yell back not to listen to him if you want to live. The tornados pass and everything calms down. Rebecca is now acting weird, if I touch her she pulls away. I for some reason apologize to the idiot I called out for being an idiot. My company is now funneling everyone out of the building and to their cars. I tell rebecca that I will follow her home to make sure she gets home safe, shes still dodgy but accepts. My dream ends with me hunting for my car in the parking lot.

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This reminds me of a cooking show:
Screen Shot 2020-06-17 at 11.04.12 AM

(After reading the rest of that, I’m sure there is a much better meme I could use, but I’m committed to this one now.)


It’s really interesting that you mention television static. I get that from time to time, too, I thought it was my imagination.

This is a big journey, I wish you good luck.

Every time. lol

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That sounds like what EA refers to as static rain, and is a sign of a deep altered state. :+1:

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I don’t know how I previously overlooked this but your meditation pad in your garden is looking amazing! I can’t wait to see it when you have the roses and plants all around! :+1:

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@AureliaMencargianis when I add more I will definitly add pictures.

So yesterday I was working on my breath of life course. I was doing the first exercise that has you take a deep inhale with your arms above your head. Next it has you quickly bring your elbows down while keeping your fist up and quickly exhale. So my issue is that when I do this it forces me to snort and I push air out of my nose. It’s like my nose passage isnt large enough for the force of air I am creating and it actually hurts inside my nose. Not sure what I’m doing wrong here.

Next I did my 45 min of chakra healing. I really got lost in my head during this one. I was lost in my machinations for about 25 to 30 minutes before I realised it. Also dont remember much of what i was day dreaming about. I ended up calling this one at this point as i was so far into it and had done nothing.

Faced south and started working on my black mist training. Oh maybe something to note, when I did my root chakra in the above paragraph i did see a black goop moving around its exterior. It kinda evaded my observation as i went to look closer.

So I’m building my room again in my mind, everything has almost no detail. It looks like a cross between static and the matrix view ( yes from the movie ). Odd part is that it somehow had shading. If static can have shading that’s what I saw. Everything had a blueish hue to it. I noticed i could make out all the furniture in my room. Nothing had much definition it was all just blobs and shapes of what was there. I couldnt make out most smaller items except what was on my altar. That stuff came through a little more clear but still not good. I could see the two paintings on my wall but not what was on them. The goop showed up on it’s own while I was sending my consciousness around the room to inspect stuff closer. The goop funny enough was doing the same. It was like a cat that been brought to a new territory. It was wearily inspecting everything with what i took for trepidation.

I came to another realization, I am shit at visualization but apparently I’m good at sensing objects near me. I realised that when I walked around my room with my eyes closed. I could… with no better words “feel” my dresser before i actually touched it. Knowing it was there. I dont have the right words to explain this but when i fully figure it out I’ll update.

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My works of darkness showed up today. First thing I did consecrate my outdoor temple. When I was visualizing my space and letting the stagnant and negative energies come out. I saw sludge come from between each crack in the bricks. The ground around the square was made of moving and tangling roots or vines, the sprouted buds that didnt flower but burst into putrid bile that scorched the ground it landed on and sometimes formed pools. I wore headphones so I didnt hear anything but the music in my head.

I cleansed the space and called in the darkness to take home here and never leave. I didnt really feel anything but the ground caught flames on top if my outdoor temple. Now when I vision it, it is always a square of flames that flicker up about a foot+ in the air.

I sat down in the center to do some black mist practice. After about a minute of being there and visualizing the area around me. My vision went black like someone walked into front of me. I kept seeing shadows move in front of me through my eyelids. This was really peculiar because the sun was already below the tree line and somewhat behind me. there was nothing that could have created large enough shadows to completely blot out my vision. Even if only for half a second. It also felt like someone was now standing in front of me. I resisted the sudden urge to open my eyes to see who was there. I knew I would not see anyone If I did open them.

I went back to noticing the flames around me that I was sitting in. The licked up my back and front to about nipple height. I was enjoying the drumming that was playing in my earphones and that’s when I saw her. She was no more than 5’8 long long black hair and a long tattered and dirty plain white dress. She reminded me of the woman from the ring who lived in the well but had the face of the girl from the exorcist movie. She had a very menacing grin on her face and was hunched over dancing to the nordic drumming I was listening to.

She made no gestures or anything. She seemed to enjoy dancing but kept her eyes locked on me the entire time. I wasnt sure what to do so I just watched. After a few minutes I thought fuck it. I started to stand and walk toward her with the intent to dance. As I got near the song ended. She continued to look at me and just shrugged and poof’d into nothingness. For some reason it felt like a maybe next time.

I went back to my burning square and continued my meditation like no interruptions had occurred. Eventually my goop showed up. It seemed to bask in the flames. Rolling around like scrooge McDuck in his money pen. I then noticed that it was kinda enjoying the music too as it’s back would shoot up to the beat while rolling around.

It eventually kind chilled in my lap like a kitten. As I would inhale a little bit of it would look like it’s getting sucked toward me. On exhale the center of that location would get pushed back. This kept happening untill it was making a cone shape toward my head. The top ring would come a little closer with every inhale. On exhale the center would get pushed back down, creating a larger cone. Untill it eventually had my entire head in the cone up to my shoulders.

At that point it used my skin to move quickly to all orifices on my head and climbed in. I felt no pain or discomfort. It just went in like it was a natural thing.

I guess lol.

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@DarkestKnight in Glenn’s book me mentioned a secret golden smile a couple times. I cant find what this is referenced to. Was curious if you knew.

Do you mean the Secret Smile?

It’s a technique he introduces later, where you breath in and cycle the energy of relaxation, and orgasm through your body.

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So I bought a new copy of the enochian workbook off amazon a couple weeks ago. What showed up was a used 1993 first edition. I only paid around 15$ for it. I’m pretty happy about this. I like first editions because you typically dont have sections that get removed. I’m not sure when I plan on starting this. I have plenty of other books that I have on my waiting list.

I am coming to find that I may be over burdening myself by stretching myself too thin. I am currently researching Mesopotamia, specifically the city of Ur and their ziggurat that I have visited while deployed in iraq. Also the lost book of enki. I am working through Glenn Morris’s path workings. Also through my balg course from robert Bruce’s mastering kundalini and energy. I am reading through all 8 of EA’s books. Half way through #2. I am also researching my nordic roots. Finished the poetic eddas and working through some runelore books. Finally I am working on learning hoodoo with my wife, were working through 365 days of hoodoo.

Oh and my udemy courses: breathe of life and Qi-Gong.

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It’s been a struggle to get myself in the mood to do anything but sit on the couch like lazy ass. I’ve been reading, but when it comes to meditation it’s been hard go find the motivation. Not really sure what happened.

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This is actually very common. It is the ego rebelling against the discipline.

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Current WOP. I will update as I complete it.

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Little bit more of an update. The person in the middle turned out female. I gotta figure out how to make the flowing robe look more like a robe than a chunk of red blah. The hand over the stomach will eventually be a black hole the hand will go inside of… somehow. Then lots more detail in everything.

Not sure what so do with white space. Also thinking of turning the yellow space into flames or some shit but… not sure.

Ideas?? Please and ty.

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This is really, really good. I think it’s a fantastic and original idea for an art piece.

To make the robe look a little more 3D I would just add some black paint mixed with water to dilute it and shade like creases into the robe? Obviously use your judgement, this may not be a good idea - this is just what I would do.

I think the idea of a black hole in the hand is incredibly cool!

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Thanks, it’s been really fun to work on. It took me about a week to figure out what will go into the center. I think it’s really moving along. I like painting because if you dont like it. You just paint over it and start again lol.

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Yesterdays meditation was great. I question what was real and what was just figments of my imagination.
So starting off I consecrated my out door temple about a week ago. When I meditste out there I feel I can visualize substantially better. When visualizing my surroundings they are in color, more definition and far more detailed.

My third eye was going crazy when I focused on it. When I took my internal observations to my third eye i saw what reminded me of a kaleidoscope of colors in constant movement. It was hard to focus on. When I would look through my third eye I saw a giant expanse of white. One giant blank canvas for me and only me. So I tried projecting my visualization through that.

I started out building my environment and tried to incorporate smells and other sensations. Note I said try, begining stages leave room for improvement. I was able to see my yard and garage the trees and the hedges. All with a good clarity, when I looked back next to myself I saw the bricks I was sitting upon. When I looked closely at the bricks I could see my goopy friend in between the cracks. This time when it emerged it was far more defined. Its appendages resembled tendrils this time. It wasnt just a few goopy arms that emerged from the mass but a bunch of silky tendrils that moved with finesse. They swayed back and forth like flames on a breeze. It crawled up to me, it came across my left knee and down my thigh, it wrapped around my hip to my back. Then up my back and over my right shoulder and down my arm and off me. Like I said I’m not sure if this is just me making it up or not. Idk how to confirm. But I will say that about a second after it made its movements I got sensations that followed its movement on my body. The breeze outside followed the exact path it took and a sense of heat came with this breeze. It’s weird to explain. But it is what it is.

Next i saw the dancing shaman woman. I guess that’s what I’m gonna call her for now. She doesnt speak but just comes and dances when i play my Norris war music for meditation. Still long black hair and a creepy ass smile. She looks to be pretty fit, olive to darkish tanned skin. She has these red zig Zags that circle her ankle/skins. One on top of the other on both legs. Thick thighs that could save lives. A very tattered one piece that goes cover her. I would assume she is well endowed in the chest dept. But she is always sorta hunched over dancing to the beat of the music.

She showed up again dancing. I instantly got up to dance with her this time. It reminds me of what you see in movies with Indian tribes dancing around a fire to the beat of some drums. We danced across the flames untill the song ended. Stomping and spinning it was enjoyable.

This is all I remember.

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Me too. Being outside and meditating - and sleeping out there too - I find is much more calming and spiritually fulfilling.

Wow! This is awesome!

That was an intense experience. Thanks for sharing.

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