Looking Back:Have the feel to share

What pushed you to magick?

Me, asside from being fun of it since I was a kid, the real thing I had never told anyone 'til this time is that I had the big questions in myself. One time, something pulled from inside of me and I don’t even know where this feeling and new view of the world came from (it’s something hard to explain)
I was drawn to look at my physical self and something was strange. Then questions arose: why am I me?; why am I born to be me? Why am I in this self?.
Was then drawn to the things around. I looked at the people, the rocks, the trees, the animals,… It felt so unfamiliar. Yeah I know their names and what they have been ,in common view, but what troubles me was that I really don’t know what they are. What’s a stone?; what are this people?; What are this different things?,… It really felt like I do know nothing about the world.

That time was the start of something different. The questions I hold inside never got the answers. So then I set out for the hunt. Something I new was the hope of finding it where it came from, from deep inside of me and magick was the only word that came to promise answers.
But magick tells me to understand the universe to find the answers that seem to ask me to UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM ASKING TO FIND THE ANSWERS TO WHAT I AM ASKING( and that was the great help, a very logical answer but indeed that was true).

I then stepped into the holy church of the whites, Christians, and I had found inspirational thoughts and cultivation of values but not the answers. So, I got into their Holy Book of Books myself. I got some idea and important knowledge but not the answers.
I had the need to look somewhere in another corner and so I got down to the hidden light of darkness. I found satanism. It was great, they had the wisdom out of common men’s locked up point of view. So different from Christianity. They accept the wider view and understanding. They had great words but I still need the answers. It troubles me often. I’ve also looked up into buddhism and into other belief system which indeed taught me, i say, many things.
After all that walks, I then got back from the start. Then here I am now, writing this journey I passed through. Remembering what hooked me to be here.
Still not have the clear solid answers but they ,little by little, reveal themselves.

Wow, the answers flashed again while i was typing but I didn’t had the grasp of it. I again turned back from the start. Glad to share it. I just wanna bring back the very reason, to myself, why I am here in this height.

Glad to hear yours too.

sorry for this non- educating material. Just think, you also want to look back if the same feeling arises your will power.

Well, when I was 11 I deemed I was going to find truth. So, I became a Taoist. I was Taoist for about two years, and during that time I read about immortals and how they could do magic. I remembered this Zen proverbs that said, “There is no difference between an enlightened one and one who isn’t enlightened. The only difference then, is that the enlightened one knows this.” And so, I reasoned that I should be able to practice magic as well and I turned to the massive internet. My first spell ever was a rain spell because I reasoned that it would be pretty easy to see results. And it rained two days later, score one for magic.