I gotta say guys I have my apprehensions about posting this as I dont feel any words could quite give the experience justice but I need your thoughts on this.
I was jolted out of sleep and found myself in a state of confusion as I was no longer laying down, but standing.
Before I had time to make sense of the situation, I felt my skin begin to sting by my ankles. I looked down to see what it was and found I was standing on top of Myself… I was standing on top of my body and there were flames coming out of my stomach.
It felt like searing hot needles being driven into my skin, though it was bearable at first, making me wince and shift around. Then it began spreading up my legs, till it reached my thighs and up to my hips. By this point I choked back screams… the pain was getting unbearable and quick but I, for some reason, was afraid to scream.
Somehow I felt that if I screamed the flames would overtake me. So I stood there squirming picking up my feet and making these awful throaty and guttural noises. But despite my efforts to endure, the flames rose higher, up to my chin, now seemingly covering my entire physical body that was there on the mattress. I couldn’t bear it any longer… I started to scream and writhe and vainly cover myself with my arms. I wanted to collapse but the heat kept me standing. One thing that surprised me was also how loud the fire was… it was deafening and that’s not something I’d really expect.
My thoughts raced as I tried to understand why this was happening… why was this happening to me…? I looked at my hands and arms in horror as I saw my skin bubble and in some parts… melt off of my flesh, then reform only to start the cycle over again. I caught a glimpse of something through the flames, someone standing in the shadows of my room. Two eyes that reflected the fire, and a face covered by the darkness. I dont know who the being was for certain though I have my suspicions… maybe.
They spoke no words but communicated one thing that if I were to put in words myself would be: “This is what happens when you don’t let her out.”
FUCK if I know what that’s supposed to mean, but when he said this… I immediately became aware of someone in the fire with me? Or perhaps maybe even the fire itself had a “presence” or conciousness of it’s own, exploding from inside my own body and she was burning me up.
I just… I cant wrap my mind around it and it completely blows me away. I’m still trying to process what the HELL happened. When I acknowledged the fact that she was in there with me… I started to lose myself in her. I started to become flames myself as my flesh seemed to burn away completely.
The sensation was… release and bliss. A oneness and completion… sexual even? Theres so much I feel I could say about that moment but for the time being I’m at a complete loss for words. I do also feel that what I was working on right before I fell asleep that night may be correlated but I’m not exactly sure how it all fits together… I’m still processing. I’ve had one other experience in which I was set on fire, but this felt so incredibly different.
I’d really really appreciate your thoughts and interpretation on this. I keep most things to myself these days but I dont want to feel alone in it all this time.