Life is falling apart and I don"t know why

So I thought when I got out of jail life might go somewhat back to normal…I was dead wrong.

When I got home I found my house had been broken into again for the second time in a month.
This time they had the 6 days I was locked up to go through my house.
My wallet with $300,ID,SS card,birth certificate and my daughters info cards was gone.My laptop,PS4,prescribed medications,even the change I had on the altar dedicated to my father was fucking gone.

Without my meds I’ve been going through some serious withdrawal symptoms to the point where I can’t relax enough to sleep let alone do any majickal work.

I don’t know if I still have a job because the administrator at my work doesn’t want me to come back but my boss and the owner not to mention my co-workers all want me back.

It took my whole paycheck to bail me out so I don’t even have money to put food in the house right now.

I don’t know what I did or what happened for me to deserve this.
The thing I got arrested for is on its way to being dismissed and I can honestly say I DID NOT do what I was accused of.
I’m not comfortable talking about the charges because it’s embarrassing and I along with everyone I know knows I wouldn’t do this.

I know I’m kind of ranting but I’m feeling completely lost and I’m afraid of losing anything I have left such asmy apapartment.

I don’t know if this is the result of a ritual I’ve done or what.
I asked for quite a few changes on May 10th but I don’t know what to think of this.This is all too much for me to handle and I feel like I’m having a nervous breakdown.

Has anyone ever had to go through a total crisis while undergoing change? I honestly don’t even know if that’s what is going on but all this shit happening I don’t know what to think and as I said earlier I’m too sick to do any work to find out.My body just won’t relax.

I don’t know… I just needed to get this off my chest.
Any advice here would be much appreciated.Thanks.

Shit I honestly thought I was on the General Discussions thread.
Sorry guys.(and Bran lol)

I know the feeling, brother. I am currently homeless, unemployed, and broke. My life has completely imploded, and I am stressed to the max.

why is this happening to everyone?

I lost my job too and i cant get hired anywhere.

I had to leave my apartment and move back in with
my parents. :stuck_out_tongue:

I’m homeless, unemployed, and I know what drug withdrawal feels like. I used to be a heroin addict. It sucks.

I’m feeling absolutely ineffectual. Two evocation rituals I attempted recently have had absolutely zero results.

I understand the sentiment, guys. Got defrauded last year by an accountant and the fisc is after me for over $80 000!!! I’ve also got over $31 000 in college loan to repay (still looking for paid work).

Yes, a few years ago I almost killed myself (I lived on the 5th floor and was planning to go out the window under the traffic below) because of similar stuff. It wasn’t the first time I’d come close to suicide and I had NO backup or support to speak of that I could run back to when shit hit the fan.

I hung on because I realised that the despair, which was situational as well as I’d always suffered from depression, PLUS I had a major drink problem, wouldn’t go away unless I took action, so I started small by reading motivational sites, stuff like Napoleon Hill and so on, the old-fashioned stuff which is the best IMO, and then built it up from there.

I also used my total “don’t give a fuck” about EVERYTHING that I felt at the lowest moments to launch into some spiritual explorations, and that was when I first began to reliably experience the state of “No Thing” in which I encountered the kind of state of being one with the single consciousness of the universe, while everything else melted away. It’s hard to describe.

And I wasn’t able to chill for 20 minutes chanting AUM or anything, I was mess, living off crappy food because the place had a shared kitchen and I hated the other tenants, jumping every time a door slammed because my own door wouldn’t latch and could just be pushed open, drinking a bottle of wine or more a day every day, sleeping on a sofa because I didn’t have a bed…

Out of that, I manifested a dream flat (which I then lost due to confusion over ethics, but c’est la vie) and although it was a living nerve-scraping HELL at the time, I look back on it as the point at which my life changed permanently for the better. But it was brutal to have to live through.

I’m just saying this because 1. if you keep your focus laser-sharp, you might be able to get spiritual gains from the abyss of despair and disenchantment, no matter how edgy and fucked up you feel, and 2. to share that it’s possible to survive that kind of shit and actually gain from it.

But on a normal human level what’s happening to you just plain sucks and I feel for you, I really do. Please don’t think I imagine a pep-talk will make it all go away, like some cheesy scene in a movie, because I know that’s not the case at all.

The things that helped me best were taking small steps, e.g., I improved my diet (lots of avocadoes especially, for healthy fats and potassium) but left the drinking alone because I wasn’t in a place to deal with that; refusing to give up; and I went actively looking for psotivie motiavtional stuff and stayed away from the news and anything that could get me down, because I had no energy to spare for that stuff.

Finally, at the time I had no obstacle course of expectations around what I needed to be, do or have in order to create a miracle, so I just pushed through to Source even though my face was puffy from crying myself to sleep every night and there were wine and vomit stains on the sofa where I sat, slept, and did all my spiritual endeavours, such as they were.

Thanks for the inspirational words LadyEva.
I agree that there could be a benefit to where I’m at right now.

The arresting officers did a bunch of shit that was just flat out wrong when they arrested me and I spoke to a buddy of mime who knows the law real well and he said I may have a shot at filing a lawsuit over this.

Also every time I start to feel like my life is over I keep getting this little voice in the back of my head saying "This is right where I need to be"
But it brings little comfort because of how unsure I am of everything.

Keep your head up brother.The fact that your homeless and you’re coming at majick with limited resources says ALOT about your willpower.

I was once a heroin addict too hence the meds I’m on.
I think I speak for everyone when I say I’m rooting for me and hit me up if you have any questions and I’ll do my best to answer them.
Plus you’ll never get the feeling of “Oh I can’t do THAT ritual without THOSE tools”.

I wish you luck.


I’m sorry for ALL you folks that are in the middle of tough times. The only thing I can say is that it does get better. Just hang on and take it one step at a time. When you fall face first in the manure, cry about it a little and then get back up.

@ Musta, I don’t know what you asked Belial to do for you, but if he is doing his part, your job is to think your way out of your mess and use mundane and magical means to make your life better.

I am just getting over my tough times. Here is the short and sanitized version of what happened to me during my long, dark night.

Several years ago, I got my ass in a serious bind with the law. Too much drinking was a contributing factor to getting in trouble and getting in trouble led to even heavier drinking to try and forget about my trouble. While i was waiting to wrap up my court case, my personal financial situation began crumbling big time.

I went from doing just fine to counting out coins for gas and groceries. Oddly enough, my personal financial collapse wasn’t due to my legal trouble, I just happened to be in a line of business that took a hammering during the recession. My financial situation also taught me who my friends really are. A lot of people I had helped in the past turned their back on me when I came to them for help. Those people taught me to put a much higher value on myself, my time and my resources.

I did jail time over my legal trouble. While I was rotting in jail, my grandfather, whom I loved very much, died.

These problems were the catalyst that led me to magick in general and the left hand path in particular. I was tired of being on the losing end of life and decided to do whatever is necessary to get the life I wanted… Even if it meant stepping over the fresh corpses of my adversaries to get it.

I have always been fascinated by the occult and supernatural but never was serious about learning how to harness this power. I have spent a long time scouring occult books and the internet trying to figure out what is real and what is a waste of time.

I have begun seeing improvements in my life by implementing what I have learned. I am going to continue my magick and reshape my life into what I want it to be!

Oh, and I pretty much stopped drinking 6 months ago. That was easier than I thought it would be.

I’ll add to this. I just lost a really good shift at one of my jobs djing. I was going to do an evocation of Paimon to try to get my job back but something told me to wait. I got a reading from my Ocha Godfather and Elegua said to forget about my job. fuck that I’m better then being a dj at a strip club. I have to bite the bullet and have faith in the Orisha’s I was told that I cant do anything to the guy that got me fired either. Elegua said that what I’m going to go through is going to be hard but hes putting me through the fire to strip me of all my impurities. My Mom Yemaya told me that she waiting for me to make saint. The last few readings I’ve gitten I’ve been told that I have to make saint and I dont have a choice. I’m scared I am. But I have faith in my Muertos My egun and The Orishas. Plus I’m a fuckin badass Black Magician. The hardest thing for me to do is not fuck this guys life up. The last time I got fired I went to my job and blew powder. The guy I blew powder on turns out drove home and got a dui. But guess what I got one 2 moonths later. Because the people the ones that got me fired were my own spirits. Because they want better for me. Just like all your spirits want the best for you. Its like your mom letting you burn your hand on the stove so you dont set the house on fire and kill yourself. Your Spirit guides have been with you befor you were born. They have been with you this whole time. They love us more then our parents. Trust me it sucks but your becoming tough as nails. They’re preparing you for your GODHOOD. I still , We all got the world by the Balls time to start squeezin

Also every time I start to feel like my life is over I keep getting this little voice in the back of my head saying "This is right where I need to be" But it brings little comfort because of how unsure I am of everything.

Yes, that voice might just be right there. I’ve got a good idea how you must feel about your situation as I’ve been there myself. I could literally see the end-of-the-road which was pretty unnerving, and for me there was a junction just before the road ended to turn into.

One thing: check out the type of people who are around you, do you have secret enemies among them? The vibes that they send can end up being a unintended potent curse on you. Don’t tell anyone about your intentions and projects. I used to be too open with people and I finally realised that when I shared my intentions, it seemed like everything used to go pear shaped, while projects that were kept secret always used to work out fine. It took me a very long time to figure that one out, and when I did my life slowly began to improve. Don’t ever underestimate peoples hatred and jealousy. Use your magick to deal with these “types”, it works and they end up fighting each other and leave you alone.

I hope things work out and get better for you man.

[quote=“Musta_Krackish, post:1, topic:3570”]I don’t know if this is the result of a ritual I’ve done or what.
I asked for quite a few changes on May 10th but I don’t know what to think of this.This is all too much for me to handle and I feel like I’m having a nervous breakdown.[/quote]

Musta, don’t get too caught up on the idea that it is the results of the ritual that you did, it will only make things worse. I went through this when I started to work Enochian Magick, and at one point, just because someone said that working the Enochian current would shake your life up, every little thing had me wondering if it was a working that had caused whatever.

Try and get a little perspective (I know that is far too easy for me to say). I know a number of people who are hitting really bad times at the moment, and they are not magicians, so magic is not messing up their lives. The world is pretty screwed-up right now, and it is not all your fault!

We all had some tough shit I wont say what mine is but trust me you guys don’t have it that hard. It can always get wors a dedicated mind and hard work will ensure gain. Never give-up not even when you breath your last breath. Hanging in there just won’t do it, get up and make the hard choices. Do what ever it takes

Good luck