I’d be intetested to hear what this means to you?
Have you experienced it?
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Yes, and while sober too.
about 2 years ago I was in college and everything was going to shit. Classes were hard I couldn’t connect with anyone and my spiritual practice at the time ( just yoga and meditation) felt uninspiring. Eventually it got pretty bad and I failed a test and I guess that was the breaking point. Like a wave just washed over me and destroyed everything I didn’t care because there was no I left to care. All that seemed to exist was laughter. People walking around was hilarious. Birds flying in the sky we’re hilarious. Existing in a physical body with responsibilities was hilarious. Existence was hilarious. Honestly it felt like I was a baby. This lasted a few hours and slowly faded away. And I was completely sober.
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I’ve experienced it once maybe about a year and a half ago?..
I wasnt trying. I remember I was laying down and I started going into what felt like a trance even though my eyes were closed. And I just randomly started repeating my name over and over until it didn’t really sound like anything. It lost all meaning and seemed to just become background noise inside my brain as I started to come to a place that felt different… I had drifted inside myself, but i hadnt realized it at the time. It was just a vast sea of nothingness. A void. It felt as though i was outside my body but I wasnt. I started to become aware again of the"word" or “phrase” that was my name again. It had become almost like white noise. I recognized it as a name… but I didn’t recognize it to be mine. At this point I had also seemed to have lost all feeling in my body and forgot it was there at all. Just me in this nothingness. During this time I had almost no recollection of where I was or even language. I dont know how to really explain that…
I dont know for how long I was in this state. It felt like an eternity inside a couple of seconds. But in reality I estimated to be maybe a little over half an hour. At some point I had become aware of that “noise” once again but this time I had forgotten it was a name. It had no meaning at all anymore…
I dont remember how I had come back.
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Loss of all concept of self. Having absolutely no reference.
For me it is losing the individual drive. I lost all motivation and just sitting, doing nothing seemed the most pleasant, natural thing . if the ego completely dissolves, the body mind unit will fall apart. DEATH. Maintaining a small ego and having control, mastery over it is what most enlightened masters sought.
I had experiences, similar to the ones, mentioned by Rin, and Wanderer,
I had a lot of these, as a child.
Then, as I went to school, more regularly, at 4, it started to disappear, it seems to me.
At 15, it returned one time, and disappearance, since then.
I wouldn’t call it, “Ego Death”, but it’s something quite similar.