I don’t know how to begin this. In a nutshell its like too much at once, and if you have insight or advice on how to proceed I am all ears. I’ve been working with Lucifer to break down the old frameworks of beliefs I was taught as a child. Especially fear based ideas about LHP. About 2ish weeks ago I said I thought I was ready to move forward. This is the pattern we have had for awhile now. I would move forward, then go back and he might refer me to a different name or visit me himself- talks would happen, astral experiences, information would come way, books would come into my awareness, etc and so on. I then woke up over the course of the next week with a series of names, many who I had not researched yet but had heard of in passing.
So to jump ahead I woke up with the memory of having invoked Belial in my sleep. I woke up in a minor panic, like oh wow wtf did I do?! I don’t know why but him in particular I had hesitation because of reputation I suppose. So I went to his energy and apologized. He wasn’t angry, but he was so fucking serious. Stern isnt even the word. I thought all was well. In reality it is but shit is getting shaken up. I was left with the impression that my higher self/ subconscious must have made this choice and to chill tf out cause it was all for the better.
Maybe 4 days ago I had this bizzaro dream “attack” that felt real at first but the moment I woke up I recognized it had been sent to me for me to recognize my own abilities and growth. Like a push on that fear for me to realize- this fear has no purpose. “this fear has no purpose”. again “this fear has no purpose” this statement right now hits a depth that brings tears to my eyes.
So I am told its time to confront the fear. Yesterday in meditation I spoke to Lucifer and I heard “upheaval”.
I can be sensitive to energies, and have some medium like ability. For instance 3 weeks ago I was going to sleep and I heard “well, killed myself today.” Poor dude was just bummed over it, and I guess wandered over to me to try and talk. I think he was in a car wreck locally, not sure. He moved on quickly.
Last night I am trying to sleep. I’m stuck hypnagogic for hours- nearly all night, swirling energy, voices, faces- so many faces, and the occasional attempt to jump me which felt pretty normal actually considering I used to get passers by often before I learned to throw up walls around my home. Then the occasional almost reassuring word or two (assumed to be Bime). This lead me to think speaking with Bime earlier about ancestor work had a ripple effect. But when I inquired if it was Bime I saw a dragon eye. I saw it in the darkness reappear maybe 4 times, calmly there watching. I thought much of it was possibly ancestor energy. I know they are not always nice or have manners, and opening up to them is new. I’m not sure. Until last night nothing with ill intent was able to get anywhere near me when I slept, and honestly Im not sure if this is “something with ill intent”, a lesson I asked for, or just a mess ton of energy that I am not accustomed to. This would not be the first time that after telling Lucifer I was ready to learn more that I had a sleepless night as I made adjustments in handling more energy and impressions. At 2:30am my prolific sleep talker husband who usually mumble incoherently says “your turn bitch” - well thanks?
Now I am actually pretty calm about all of this, I know I asked for this experience on some level and there is a lesson here. I would like input on how to handle this if it occurs again and/or any insight on the whole experience. I have had similar nights in the past, though not nearly as intense, and previously solved it by banishing/cleansing around the house. Last night though, nothing was leaving!