K's journal

Journals, Group Rituals & Free Readings
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We get to keep a journal here? Well this is a delightful surprise. A eerie coincidence, I was thinking about getting back into this.

I occasionally go through periods where I have difficulty keeping my faith. A disconnect between myself, my spirituality and inner magician. I don’t know why it happens, it just does. The scientist in me just can’t seem to fully square with the witch in me. I become what I can only describe as fragmented. It is as though a piece of my soul is torn out, but the void left behind is oddly comforting. Believing in nothing leaves no room for disappointment. It is when that darkness becomes so unbearable, that I find myself drawn back. I am coming out of another one.

I know this may seem a little witchy fluffy poo poo for this forum, but a method I have previously used, and will be using again is a tarot journaling prompt. It is called 22 days of tarot sparks. I can’t explain how it helps, I just know that it does. The first time I tried this, I felt this other worldy pull back in. Half way through the series, I felt like I was being stitched back together. Here is round 2:

Day 1 the fool

"What am I most deeply seeking at this point in my life? How can I reconnect to a sense of wonder? Where in my life do I need to take a risk?

Your Seeker Spark:

Go for a meandering walk around your neighborhood. Tell yourself you will take 15 minutes out of your busy schedule, but if it ends up taking longer, go with it. Don’t have a goal in mind — not a certain amount of steps or a cardio workout or even a destination.

Wander instead. Wander and wonder. Be open to surprise. Notice everything — how the light falls, blossoms on branches, the clatter of delivery trucks, birdsong, the colors and shapes of houses.

Stop. Look around. What do you see that is unique to this day, a day unlike any other?"

This was the first in a while that I took a walk with no destination in mind and no headphones on. I discovered a few new places and met some interesting people.

After about an hour, something strange happened. Though it was getting dimmer out, everything seemed to get brighter. It was surreal. It was like I was looking at the world with new eyes. I saw colors as though I had never seen them before.

I meditated on my adventure when I got home. What struck me after the fact was how much energy was buzzing around. Everyone is busy going on with their lives, completely unaware…almost detached from everyone and everything they passed by.

I thought “don’t I do the same exact thing.” Infact I do. Everytime I leave my house it is always with a specific goal in mind. I grab my purse, keys and mp3 player hoping that 1. I didn’t forget anything 2. That no one stops to talk to me 3. I complete my task unhindered.

Taking a random walk through the neighborhood showed me how much I am missing by not being more attentive to what is happening around me. It showed me that if I am going to resolve my constant feelings of detachment from the rest of the world…move past my fear of connection…then I am going to have to find the strength and courage to meet the world half way.

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22 Days of Tarot Sparks
Day 2 The Magician

Journaling prompt:

How can I bring my dreams into manifestation? How do I experience my own sense of personal power? What magic can my hands make?

One of the turn offs to magick is this growing idea in the community that tools are necessary. They are interesting, some are quite beautiful, and most certainly help to focus…but it often makes me feel like they come between myself and the work I am doing. I have been working more with my hands lately, putting away the tools unless I feel they are necessary. I suppose I don’t just want to make magick, I want to be magick.

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22 days of tarot sparks
day 3 The Priestess

Journaling prompt:

What do I keep hidden, private or sacred? What tools can I use to explore my inner depths?

Your Priestess Spark:

Watch for synchronicities and omens in your everyday life.

Choose a tool of the esoteric arts that will help you explore non-rational ways of knowing — reading the cards, tossing the runes, bibliomancy, dreamwork, or scrying. Just play with these tools.

Listen for voices in the wind, look for patterns in the clouds. Write about these things in your journal.”

My divination/guidance method of choice is a mashup of pendulum work and a spellboard.

The board uses a little lens like a quiji or spirit board and I occasionally use it that way in a group setting. when alone, it serves as a visual map for my pendulum.

For these questions it is distinctly directing me to Location, Success, Abundance, and Barriers.

It is no secret that my life is lacking in those areas. What I keep private is why.

Part of my stagnation is a lack of trust and faith in myself to succeed at whatever path I chose. I often dismiss my accomplishments and instead focus on what I haven’t done yet. Whenever I take a moment to pat myself on the back, I feel as though I sound like a pretentious asshole. I feel guilty, as though those around me are looking down and judging me for being proud of myself.

Most of what I have accomplished, was purely to prove to others what I am capable of. Now that I have stopped caring about what people think, I haven’t felt motivated to try and succeed at something new. I’ve lost the drive. Become stagnant. The only thing I still care about, is how I am perceived when I talk about my past accomplishments.

If I am going to succeed, I need to learn to trust myself and my abilities. There is a part of me that is afraid of change and growth. I need to learn to let go of the opinions of others and just give myself a pat on the back every once in a while. I need to reconcile those emotions if I’m ever going to get where I want to be. My mindset will make or break my chances of a good future.

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Knitted Poppet

One of my favorite forms of magick is the poppet. Knitting, as opposed to sewing, allows me to put my intent into every stitch.

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Use 3mm needles. Make 2 of them.
yarn color of your choice. I like to use generic acrylic yarn. It is inexpensive (less than $3.) and comes in a variety of colors.

Abbreviations:
k- knit
p-Purl
kfb-knit front back
sl-slip stitch
st/sts-stitch/stitches
psso-pass slipped stitch over
stockinette stitch-knitting on the right side and purl on the wrong side

Cast on 7 sts using cable cast on method,
Pull first st tightly for each row.
ROW 1 : kfb1, k to last 2 sts, kfb1, k1 (9 sts).
ROW 2 : p.
Rpt ROWS 1 & 2 until 15 sts ending on a ROW 1.
ROW 8 : p.
ROW 9 : k.
ROW 10 : p.
ROW 11 : sl1, k1, psso, k to last 2 sts, (k2tog) (13 sts).
ROW 12 : p.
Rpt ROWS 11 & 12 until 5 sts remain ending on a ROW 11.
ROW 20 : p. Do not turn work, cast on 8 sts using single cast on method (13 sts).
ROW 21 : k. Do not turn work, cast on 8 sts using single cast on method (21 sts).
ROW 22 : p.
ROW 23 : kfb1, k to last 2 sts kfb1, k1 (23 sts).
ROW 24 : p.
ROW 25 : k.
ROW 26 : p.
ROW 27 : sl1, k1, psso, k to last 2 sts (k2tog) (21 sts).
ROW 28 : p.
Cast off 4 sts purlwise, k to end of row (17 sts).
Cast off 4 sts knitwise, p to end of row (13 sts).
Continue with 6 rows stocking st starting with a k row and ending with a p row.
NEXT ROW : k 6 sts, place the remaining 7 sts onto a stitch holder. NEXT ROW : p.
Continue with stocking stitch for 6 rows starting with a k row and ending with a p row.
NEXT ROW : sl1, k1, psso, k2, ( k2tog) (4 sts).
NEXT ROW : p.
Cast off, purlwise, leaving a long yarn tail.
Return to 7 sts on stitch holder, place on knitting needle, join yarn.
NEXT ROW : sl1, k1, psso, k to end of row (6 sts).
NEXT ROW : p.
Continue with stocking stitch for 6 rows starting with a k row and ending with a p row.
NEXT ROW : sl1, k1, psso, k2, (k2tog) (4 sts).
NEXT ROW : p.
Cast off purlwise, leaving a long yarn tail.

Gently iron the two pieces on low heat. Acrylic will melt otherwise. Decorate the face however you want. Put the two sides together with the insides of the doll facing out. Sew the edges together leaving a 2 inch hole. Pull the doll right side out. Stuff the doll with cotton batting and what ever ingredients you need for the poppet. Sew it completely shut.

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I haven’t written here in a while…actually I haven’t been very active in BALG at all. Little man and I moved into our own place and have been trying to settle in. I’ve been marinating in all the glorious quiet. Solitude has given me ample opportunities to practice and study. I’ve become more active in jewelry making. My latest is a chakra tree of life in a key ring.

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Its not my best work, but still impressive for a wire jewelry roughly the size of a quarter.

I hope everyone is well, and I hope to become more active here soon. Blessed be.

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It took FOREEVVVER to log back in here. But I’m back. My personal, somewhat spiritual, experiences since my last log in have stirred an interest in exploring the craft outside of my comfort zone. I’m hoping my return to BALG can provide guidance as I enter this new chapter. :slight_smile: how has everyone been?

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I’ve been great c:

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Now that I’m back into the swing of this forum, I can get on this journal. Finished my newest piece, a crossroads wand. Wild Yarrow from the intersection down the street, howlite skull and 3 obsidian stones cast in resin. My mini resin drill came in so I could add the eye screw for attaching charms and such. I’m really proud of this one. The crafter in me went on hiatus the last 6 months. I’m happy to be back to my old self. Anyone working on handmade tools and whatnot? Feel free to share pics. Judgement free zone.

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Oh I got this! I can get your scientist and your witch squared away and on the same page! I’m something of an expert on the science of magick. Not sure your journal is the right place to do it though. But I can if you want.

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It would be much appreciated. well, if you don’t feel like this is the proper forum (ba dum tss), there is always pm.

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I guess it might be OK to do it publicly seen as it could benefit others. First things first here. Unbeknownst to most there are two schools of science. And it’s been this way for a very very very long time. Going back to WWI and becoming most prominent in WWII where it became the status quo.
The first school of science is in the civilian and university sector. It’s a hard atheistic and mechanical cold universe model designed to be dogmatic in nature it’s intentional and the reasons for it I’m not going to go into but the main thing is to hide the existence of the other school.
The other school of science is very different and much more alive, much like the first school but nothing left out. It’s the school of science belonging to the military industrial complex and intelligence agencies. Much of the terminology I use comes from this school and I will have some documents to show you from the CIA and a few other government agencies. Don’t worry it’s all declassified stuff so you won’t get into trouble.

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Now if you try to search the CIA website in the documents section it won’t come up. But it’s not secret and you can actually buy a copy on Amazon. https://www.cia.gov/index.html
But if you go to google and search CIA remote viewing training manual it’s the first thing that comes up and it’s a PDF available for download for free.

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well that is what I’m most familiar with lol. On medical leave but working on my PsyD in biological psychology. Though I on occasion come across some professors who understand my situation. My A&P professor turned me onto Paul Feyerabend to help me find a home in the hard sciences.

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hahaha I was about 2 months old when that came out

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Yeah the military likes to horde technology until it’s obsolete for them before they release it to the public. I remember when I was in the military in 1998 and the new chip cards in most bank debit cards today was what they paid us on Lol took them 20 years before they gave that tech to Wells Fargo.

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oh yeah its like that with everything. every cool thing we have now existed long before it became available to consumers.

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Some things are still secret. Remote viewing program aka stargate was shut down and moved to the private sector because it’s cheaper and easier to simply subcontract it out. I got to do some housework while I got the chance so I’ll be back with more for you in a little bit. Going to use a bunch of videos because it’s easier than explaining it myself.

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image

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Got all those on DVD :blush:
Real quick before I forget. The science of magick is one that requires a synthesis of what are normally compartmentalized studies. Psychology , anthropology neurology, Quantum physics and theology.
Each one has a piece of the puzzle and each individual piece is useless but when combined and put together opens you up to a whole new level of understanding.

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The purpose

The purpose of compartmentalization in the cold universe model is to keep the right hand from knowing what the left hand is doing and vice versa. It’s a common practice in military projects and for security purposes. Think Manhattan project and you’ll understand why. Most of the brilliant minds don’t subscribe to the cold universe model Einstein, Parsons, Sagan, Turing, Cantor, etc.

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