Gosh, I mean… I’ve always been this way, you’re saying it’s not normal to be at one extreme or the other!!! 
Man I really like the kitten picture
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16/11/20
Felt out of sorts today so didn’t do much.
Ritual 21 of Success Magick in the late afternoon, and a meditation with the mesh ka mantra audio in the late evening.
End of praxis.
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I just realized that even the most pros sometimes can have days where it just doesn’t go the way you wanted so it’s normal huh
I thought I was the only one who felt this way so it’s good to see that it’s normal and I shouldn’t worry so much about it ^-^
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17/11/20
Today was a better day, but still felt a bit lethargic. I definitely think it is related to the turn in the weather. Here on the Wet Coast, winter brings days of rain, with very little sunlight, so sometimes it is just as dark in the afternoon as it is in the evening, and it gets depressing.
I forced myself to do something, anything, so I chanted my personal Raziel mantra for half an hour around 10 PM. I still have no idea of its purpose, though, and Raziel is being tight lipped about it.
I capped my day by meditating with the mesh ka mantra audio for an hour or before sleep.
End of praxis.
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18/11/20
It’s amazing how much better life seems when you have money in your pocket.
Did some yoga upon awakening, followed by no-mind meditation and chanting of personal Raziel mantra for 30 minutes.
Enochian LBRP and Ritual 22 of Success Magick in the early afternoon.
Energy work in the early evening.
I’ve noticed the effects of the invocation of Raphael are subtle, bubbling to the surface in quiet moments, when my mind is otherwise occupied.
End of praxis.
Got inebriated and fell asleep watching a movie.
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19/11/20
It was an okay day.
Upon awakening, did some yoga, followed by mantra meditation with the angelic mantra for inner divinity for 30 minutes.
Enochian LBRP and Ritual 22 of Success Magick in the early afternoon.
Chanting of personal Raziel mantra for 30 minutes in late evening.
Meditation with mesh ka mantra audio for an hour before bed.
End of praxis.
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20/11/20
Today was such a clusterfuck that I didn’t have time to do much of my practice. I had an appointment at noon and I wound up lollygagging on the forum after waking up so I had to rush out without doing my morning meditations.
When I got back, I had some lunch, and then my landlady tore into me, claiming the state of my room was not up to standards, so I spent most of the afternoon doing a complete scrub down of it just to satisfy her demands. I managed to cram in a 15 minute chant of the inner divinity mantra before getting started though.
Wound up doing Ritual 22 of Success Magick around midnight.
End of praxis.
I need to find a way to remove the obnoxious roommate quickly now. She is still ostensibly looking for a new place but keeps turning her nose up at the ones she does actually go to check out, claiming they are too expensive, so she doesn’t seem to be looking too hard, or her standards are just too high. I looked at the charm Luxfero posted that @Lady_Eva linked in this journal a few days ago, but I can’t find anywhere locally to buy tobacco seeds so I don’t think I can use it. I can order seeds online, of course, but I don’t know if they would arrive in time to do me any good. It’s ten days until the end of the month.
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…and a powerful fullmoon 
I’m starting feeling those intense energies again, every month a few days before… It’s really amazing to be able to notice such significant energetic changes…
Hope you will find the right solution to make her move out eventually. 
I have been in your situation a couple of times.
1 Like
Do you think this something your local land spirits could assist with?
Shadows would likely make it worse.
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21/11/20
Not much to report. Keeping up with the short rituals of Success Magick and some meditation but haven’t been doing much else.
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22/11/20
Haven’t been sleeping well, so my days have just been dragging along. Performed Ritual 22 of Success Magick in the late afternoon.
Overheard the obnoxious roommate talking to my landlady, saying she found a room to rent on the third floor of a house for an affordable price. The downside is she will not be able to move in until around the 6th of December. I’m tempted to throw some more magick at her to see if I can get her out faster, but if the new place isn’t available for two weeks, I don’t know if it would even be possible as I doubt she is going to move into a motel for two weeks when she has already paid for the current month at my place.
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…which would be already next week 
How about some blessworkings on her in order to make her ass move as smoothly and swiftly as possible in that timeframe? 
7 Likes
23/11/20
I’m a bit behind in updating this journal.
Didn’t do much beyond Ritual 22 of Success Magick and some chanting of the mantra for inner divinity for 30 minutes.
With my landlady staying in the living room and blasting the television at all hours of the day and night, I am finding my hyper-awareness to be detrimental to the focus necessary for any in depth magick (and sleep; I have to use headphones with music to drown it out just to be able to relax enough to fall asleep). I am unable to ignore the noise.
2 Likes
24/11/20
My sleep has been a bit hit and miss. Some days I feel rested, and other days I feel like I haven’t slept at all.
Performed Ritual 22 of Success Magick around 3 PM.
Chanted the mantra for inner divinity for 30 minutes in the early evening. I’ve been experimenting with the alternate pronunciation of EE-AH-TA-LA-VEE-DAY-EH-LUM.
Meditation with the mesh ka mantra audio in the very late evening/early morning for an hour.
Used the altered state engendered by the meditation to do a pathworking with Raziel and Amnitziel
End of praxis.
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Wow! Spent a while reading your journaling here… have got to chuckle. I too have been finding myself employing magick to deal with roomies’ noise.
Good luck to ya 
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25/11/20
Started my practice very late in the day.
Chanted the inner divinity mantra for 30 minutes in the late afternoon, around 4 PM, and followed it with Ritual 23 of Success Magick roughly half an hour later.
More mantra chanting of the personal Raziel mantra in the late evening, around 1030 PM.
I’m beginning to suspect there is more depth to these angelic mantras than just their stated purpose. I get the sense of something bigger lying behind them.
Meditation with the mesh ka mantra audio before bed.
End of praxis.
4 Likes
26/11/20
Had an all around good day.
Chanted the mantra for inner divinity for 30 minutes around 1130 AM.
Performed Ritual 23 of Success Magick in the early afternoon.
Chanted the personal Raziel mantra for 20 minutes in the early evening, around 7 PM, before sitting in on an online AGM for the local Fringe festival.
Had plans to do some energy work and journeying, but wound up falling asleep pretty early, around 10 PM. Woke up at 1130, turned off my room light, and went back to sleep.
End of praxis.
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27/11/20
It was an interesting day.
Mantra chanting of the inner divinity mantra for 30 minutes in the morning, followed by my Invocation of Eternity.
Ritual 23 of Success Magick in the early afternoon. These rituals are so short that, without also doing the Enochian LBRP or reading the Call of the Aethyrs, they only take 5 minutes to accomplish, so sometimes it is hard for me to believe that powerful magick could be so easy.
Did some chakra work in the early evening, before supper. Developed a headache afterwards from the influx of energy.
Mantra chanting of personal Raziel mantra for 20 minutes around 11 PM. Also developed a headache afterwards, a sharp pain in the right side of my head.
Took a Journey to the fairy mounds, using @UnseelieDiabolus’ Goblin Key, around 3 AM. It was…interesting. I’ve already detailed the journey in the Changeling Rite thread, but will copy it here as well:
I put on a shamanic drum track and laid down on my bed, relaxing into a light trance. I visualised the Goblin Key in the darkness above me, and as I drifted into trance, it became bigger, and bigger until it enveloped me.
I found myself in a dining hall. It looked very medieval, with a wooden table and chairs, with lit torches along the wall. The table was empty, and there was no one around. I walked to the far end of the room and found a staircase leading down so I followed it to a landing. To my right was a wooden door, and when I opened it, I found myself in a field of bright flowers. I stepped into the field a bit, but stopped. I heard the sound of a waterfall, and decided to go back to the landing, and try to find someone. Once I had closed the door to the field, I continued following the stairs down until I came to another, wider landing and another door. I opened it, and stepped into a bedchamber.
A very attractive young maiden sat on the bed, in a gossamer gown, brushing her hair. She looked up at me and smiled, laying her brush aside. I apologised for intruding, and called her “m’lady,” which caused her to laugh (her laughter was very musical) and say, “Ooo, so formal.”
She walked up to me, and I could see that she was slightly taller than me, around 6 feet, and very well built, if you know what I mean. She walked around me, looking me over, and telling me how I had been expected to arrive earlier. Then she smelled me, and a quizzical look passed over her face. She said I didn’t smell angelic, or demonic, or Fae, but something else that she couldn’t place. She leaned in very close, and I was struck by the bright blue of her eyes, the kind of blue a man could happily drown in. I involuntarily took a step back and she laughed again. It was a lovely sound.
She asked me about what I saw before I got to her room, and I told her about the field of flowers. A shadow fell across her face and she asked me if I had smelled the blossoms, and I shook my head. She let out a sigh, and told me that if I had, they would have put me to sleep for a hundred years.
She then grabbed my hand, and pulled me towards a door recessed into the far wall of her chamber. She led me through a dark tunnel that opened up into a meadow, in the centre of which was a very large tree. The tree was so enormous that it could have been the World Tree.
We sat on a stone bench just to the left of the tree. She continued to grip my hand, and told me she had brought me there so we could talk without “those who watch” eavesdropping. She then proceeded to tell me about the powerful forces that move behind my life. She did not know what they were, only that they were “older even than the Fae” and had plans for me (I know, I know, it sounds like something from a D & D game to continue the quest lol)
After that, she told me that I should leave, but to visit again soon. I asked her name and she gave me one, saying it was not her True Name, but that she would respond to it when I called it. She then stood up, began to walk away, deeper into the forest. She turned back to me, and again bade me to leave, so I bowed to her, eliciting another laugh, and then followed my path back to the dining hall. I visualised the Goblin Key again and opened my eyes.
It felt like at least an hour had passed but it was only about 20 minutes. I hadn’t even completed the full drum track.
End of praxis.
9 Likes
28/11/20
This was a weird day.
Chanted the mantra for inner divinity for 30 minutes around 1130 AM.
Performed my Invocation of Eternity, followed by Ritual 23 of Success Magick in the early afternoon.
Had a COVID scare when the obnoxious roommate I have been trying to remove came home and announced she had a sore throat, which sent my landlady into a tizzy, so we spent a couple of hours completely disinfecting the house, spraying Lysol into every nook and cranny we could find.
On the plus side, the roommate IS leaving. She found a place right on the ocean just outside of town and in her price range, has already signed a lease, and was in the process of packing up when she caused the COVID scare. Now, since she has to quarantine for at least a couple of days to see if she develops any other symptoms, the packing is on pause. However, she is quarantining in the new place, not here, so at least we don’t have to put up with her for now.
Many thanks to Belial, for opening the way to the new place for her, and to Tehyagrah, and Pariel, from the Forced Exile curse, for getting her to actually move.
End of praxis.
11 Likes
29/11/20
A very late start to my practices today. Didn’t bother to crawl out of bed until 2 PM 
Chanted the inner divinity mantra for 30 minutes in the late afternoon, about 330 PM.
Performed the Invocation of Eternity, and Ritual 23 of Success Magick an hour or so later, around 5 PM.
I received a great tarot reading from @Teras390 on the question of why I have been unable to manifest my own home, despite the amount of power I wield, and the cards pretty much slapped me in the face with a truth I’ve been trying my damnedest to avoid acknowledging. The answer, of course, is my own self. I’m the obstacle preventing the manifestation, or rather, my mind is.
I’m basically tying my own hands, and working against limitations that I myself have created. I forged my own chains to hold myself in check, maybe out of fear of what I’m capable of, or guilt for past wrongs, but whatever the reason, I am literally holding onto the chains with one hand while simultaneously trying to pull them apart with the other.
The reading repeated something I have often been told in readings; approach the workings with the mind of a child. Don’t overthink and only focus on the mechanics, but go in with the joy and appreciation of a child playing pretend. Revel in the magick.
It’s harder than it sounds for me though, which is why I’ve kind of ignored it each time the universe has pointed it out. It’s difficult to feel the kind of joy required, when you feel disconnected from everything like I do.
The universe repeated something else in this reading as well, something I have heard time and again. I must have patience. There is a plan in motion for me, and this block in my manifestation is so I can learn to trust myself and let go of whatever I am clinging to that holds me back.
Damn, that is so freaking frustrating! My patience does have a limit, you know!
Obviously, the reason it is taking so long is because I have a thick head, and haven’t learned my lesson yet but still, I’m pretty much near my breaking point.
I guess I really do need to take a long hard look at these self created chains…
Wrapped my day with chanting of the personal Raziel mantra for 30 minutes.
End of praxis.
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