Knight Musings

Journals, Group Rituals & Free Readings
249

19/5/20

Day 53:

I received word of something quite strange that happened yesterday. Someone, completely unconnected to me in a personal way, was randomly given a vision of some aspect of my Self.

This person weren’t sure if they were seeing my Higher Self or something else because it didn’t feel like a Higher Self to them, but they knew somehow that it was connected to me. The being seemed to be angelic, though its energy was different from the more common archangels like Michael or Raphael, and it was speaking Enochian. My human self was apparently nearby, and was the one being spoken to by the angel, but I was “blurred out” in the vision, probably because of my shielding.

The angel, for want of a better term, was standing in front of an archway, and seemed to be waiting for me to do something, though what that something was, the person who shared the vision didn’t know. The arch was a gateway, and it was connected with the being in some way. The impression given was that I’m missing something important, maybe a message, or some connection to whomever this being is that is required to communicate.

I’m not sure how to interpret this. I’ve had scans and readings from members of the forum before on my spiritual aspects, but I’ve never had someone with whom I have no personal connection in either mundane or online life randomly contact me about a vision they had. The imagery fits with some of my own explorations, and could relate to a reading I received from @Lady_Eva many months ago, but I have no clue as to the identity of this being. All the person who saw it could say was that it was both ME, and NOT ME.

Curiouser and curiouser.

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How do they know of you, might I ask if there is no connection? Maybe it doesn’t matter, I just had the thought you might could glean more information if you could trace back any/ all/ most encounters you’ve had with this person, be it bumped into them at Walmart or sat next to them at a particular movie or whatever.

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No, it is someone on the forum. It is someone I don’t regularly chat with, whom I have no personal connection to.

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Hmm well. You’re active enough on here for any of us to catch a snippet of your soul I’m afraid :scream: lol. That certainly makes it more complicated. I can’t sleep tho if you need / want any sort of aid.

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20/5/20

Day 54:

Today would have been my mom’s 68th birthday. Love ya, mom :rose:

I pulled power through my chakras at about 130 PM. I’m debating about switching up the exercise, and maybe doing some individual Bija alongside it.

I decided to focus a bit on trancework today so I experimented with different methods every few hours, starting around 6 PM. I dropped into trance and then just sat silently, paying attention to any sensations that came up. It was surprisingly difficult because I automatically wanted to do something with the altered state.

I practiced OAA Exercises 1 and 2 around 8 PM. Both are coming along, though the mist still feels 2 dimensional and imaginary. The pendulum is staying straight in its swings more, and its solidity is becoming more noticeable.

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21/5/20

Day 55:

Today was a late start so I began my daily exercises around 5 PM and combined my trancework with the chakra exercise. I counted down into Alpha, pulled power through me, and vibrated the Bija mantras. I got a bit of an energy high so i think things are still buzzing along smoothly, and my energy seems to be very stable, and strong.

I got distracted with watching some horror movies and didn’t do anything else until 130 AM when I decided to do some more trancework before bed.

I combined this method with some scrying practice.

After doing the first part of the exercise, I opened the seal of Sastan to help strengthen my clairvoyance, and gazed into my scrying bowl. I saw some indistinct shadows, but nothing distinct enough to be called a vision though.

I developed a headache afterwards, which I still have an hour later as I write this entry.

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That moment when you casually scroll through DarkestKnight‘s journal and find that he has used the exact same words as you (I promise I didn’t ”borrow“ them from you :laughing:):

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I wrote them first though :stuck_out_tongue:

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22/5/20

Day 56:

It’s been kind of a weird day. I slept late, and didn’t really get going until about 1 PM.

About an hour and a half or so after I ate breakfast/lunch, I commenced some trance work and my chakra exercise. I counted down into Alpha, pulled power from above, and vibrated the Bija mantras. I got pretty high, and remained that way for a while afterwards, even though I counted up out of trance at the end of the exercise.

I was still lightheaded, not quite in trance, but not fully grounded either, when I again counted down into Alpha, and did another pathworking with Yisrael at about 830 PM. He told me that to improve my magical imagination, and quality of visualisation, I had to engage my other senses, not just sight.

Again, I found myself still lightheaded and fuzzy even after counting up from the trance. My mind drifted more than usual when I watched some movies, and I felt really sleepy. It was a struggle to remain awake, and I had to force myself to get up to make a late supper. I decided to forgo any more trance work for the day until the fuzziness abated.

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23/5/20

Day 57:

Today was spent mostly on trancework and practice of the OAA exercises. I switched up the chakra exercise a bit, and did the version used in the Soul Travel course, which does not include the Ganesha mantra. My projections are still mostly mental, and I haven’t been able to get fully “out” of my body yet so I’ve gone back to some of the preliminary exercises.

I’ve been able to deepen my trance a bit, and my visualisation of the pendulum in OAA Exercise 2 is stronger. Though it’s not required in the exercise, I’ve started to structure the pendulum in the air in front of me for more of a challenge.

I’ll have to check to see if I have the coloured candles required for Exercise 3 before I can move on.

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25/5/20

Day 58:

I felt off all day today, and didn’t accomplish anything. I just didn’t feel like practicing. I’m not sleeping very well lately and generally wake up feeling like I haven’t slept at all, so I’ve been very tired and unmotivated. I don’t think it is magical burnout, but hopefully I can shrug it off and push through.

I think someone or something is talking at me in my dreams…

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Gives DarkestKnight a beer Today was the worst.

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I just noticed that my post above should have the date of 24/5/20, not 25/5/20

facepalm

I forget to do last night’s entry so this is the entry for 25/5/20

Day 59:

Felt like crap again for most of the day, but improved when I pushed through and did my chakra exercise. Pulling power through, and vibrating the mantras seemed to have cleared out the gunk, and established at least some sense of equilibrium.

OAA Exercises 1 and 2 were difficult. I really could not get any sense at all of the mist, and the pendulum kept jumping around and refused to swing in a straight line. Some days it seems like I take two steps forward and then twelve steps back.

Around 9 PM I did some Soul Travel practice, and mentally projected to someone to cast a protective sphere around them, augmented with the sigil I channelled from Raziel at each cardinal direction. Time will tell if there is any effect.

I’m revamping my Invocation of Eternity. I was reading Donald Tyson’s Sexual Alchemy, and in it he has a cleansing prayer, taken from pre-Christian sources, that I really like, and so I would like to incorporate it in some form. I’m not religious, and never have been, so for me any call to God, is really a call to my own Divine Self, and since the purpose of my Invocation of Eternity is to set up an alchemical fire to melt the Divine Seed within and release the inner God, I think the prayer could be fitting. i won’t know until I try it, I guess.

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I’m bumping you! :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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26/5/20

Day 60:

I was discussing with someone earlier about how i sometimes forget to make entries in my magical journal and lo and behold, I forgot to update this yesterday :stuck_out_tongue:

Spent the day mostly on energy work with the chakras, and looking for ways to bring in more power. EA’s exercise is good for a start but I feel that I need more to raise kundalini, and have more power. I’d like to focus on rejuvenating my physical form and healing some ailments, and that will require more energy than I’m generating now.

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27/5/20

Day 61:

I performed EA’s chakra exercise around 1130 AM, and followed it with the blue flame meditation. Experienced some strong vibrations with the Bija mantras, particularly in the Muladhara, and the Svadhishthana. My eyes were dry this morning and it was difficult to refrain from blinking for the entirety of the ten minutes required for the blue flame meditation.

Did another pathworking with Yisrael to improve my magical imagination in the early afternoon, and followed it with practice of OAA Exercise 2. The pendulum seemed to have a mind of its own today, and morphed from its usual golden medallion shape into a clock hand with a nude woman tied to it upside down, and then into a curved blade, like from Poe’s Pit and the Pendulum, the shape of which it then held for the rest of the exercise.

In the early evening, I did a more intensive meditation for the Muladhara, utilising a few different mudras and pranayama. Before commencing the meditation, I chanted Ganesha’s mantra, AUM GAM GANAPATAYA NAMAH for 24 minutes. Then I did ten breaths of pranayama, followed by vibration of the Bija mantra for about 5 minutes, while holding the first mudra. Then I repeated the sequence for each of the remaining mudras. All in all, it took about an hour to complete.

I felt a sensation of heat within the Muladhara, which spread into the Svadhishthana, and created a light feeling of arousal. I had a bit of difficulty staying in my cross legged position due to tight hips, so my legs tend to fall asleep after about twenty minutes, and I had to extend them a couple of times during the meditation.

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No, I have not.

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28/5/20

Day 62:

945 AM - Had a really good morning brain scrubbing session. Was able to follow my breath for almost the full thirty minutes, using the breathing technique from Path Notes.

1230 PM - Pulled power through my chakras, and vibrated the mantras. I’m feeling strong movement within the Mulhadrara, possibly a stirring of the Kundalini. Both my Anahata and my Vishuddha need work though. They are my two most inactive chakras, apparently.

330 -ish PM - OAA Exercises. I have developed more of an energetic sense of the presence of the mist than any solid visuals in Exercise 1. I can’t see the mist, but I know it is there, if that makes sense.

The pendulum in Exercise 2 has become fairly solid, and seems to want to remain as the curved blade without morphing into something else. I can hold the swing now without deviation for at least a full two or three minutes out of ten. I think it is time to move on to Exercise 3.

I’ve been trying to add little meditative moments throughout the day, like Jason Miller suggests in his book Sorcerer’s Secrets. It’s harder than it seems though. It’s just so easy to get wrapped up and forgot to pause for a moment and bring the awareness to the breath. I’ve also been trying to incorporate the Path Notes breathing technique when walking but I cannot yet get past falling back into my habitual breathing pattern when moving.

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29/5/20

Day 63:

I have the feeling that I am close to discovering the key to something. What, exactly, that something is, I have no idea, but today I had the distinct impression that I’m “almost there.” It’s such a vague feeling though that it could mean nothing…or it could mean everything. It seems something is building up and I am approaching the cusp of a deep well.

I slept really late so didn’t get to my chakra exercise until around three in the afternoon. I can feel my energy building and the chakras opening up more, though as stated previously, the Anahata and Vishuddha, the two chakras that connect the upper and the lower, seem to be slower to develop than the rest. Maybe that is why there is still a persistent illusion of separation between the physical and the spiritual to me, despite having practiced ritual magick for over two decades.

Practiced OAA Exercises 1 and 2 around 730 PM, just before supper. The exercises went the same as previously, with little actual visuals but a strong feeling of “seeing.” My Ajna has begun throbbing when I do the exercises now.

I think I have all the necessary candle colours to start including Exercise 3 in my practice tomorrow.

I am noticing some subtle Enochian synchronicity lately…

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30/5/20

Day 64:

Today was a light practice day. I did the chakra exercise and blue flame meditation around 11 AM and then, due to sleep deprivation, wound up falling asleep about half and hour later, and not waking up until 715 PM. I had a heavy supper and didn’t do anything else.

I have been pondering the distinct lack of a grimoire that deals with female spirits lately. I read the Amazon preview of Faustus Crow’s Goetia Girls, and he raises an interesting point. The spirits traditionally worked with in magick are all heavily skewed towards only male demons and angels, and even those demons that are mentioned as appearing in female form, are really just men in drag.

Now, I get that spirits technically have no gender, but they do have distinct energy, and regardless of their outward form, the energy of the traditional spirits in magick is generally masculine.

All things in this universe are created by the interplay of Yin and Yang, the feminine and the masculine, and part of the Great Work of the magician is to embody both the Solar and Lunar forces, so where are the Yin angels and demons, the feminine counterparts to the more well known masculine Yang angels and demons?

Surely there are truly female angels, not just well known male angels, like Raziel or Gabriel, in female clothes? I did find one book on Amazon that purported to be about female archangels, but reading the preview, it turned out to be heavily New Age and all about female empowerment, and I really don’t know how accurate its information really is. The angels had names like Lady Charity, Lady Ariel, and Lady Aurora, which I found rather questionable.

if the suffix of “EL” in an angel’s name (like in Michael) means “chosen of God” in Hebrew, and “AH” (like in Vehuiah) means “of God” or “from God,” then where are all the daughters of EL?

And where are all the female demons? Other than Lilith and her sisters, even the Left Hand Path rarely seems to deal with the feminine, and almost every mention of a demon even remotely female automatically becomes a “succubus” and is immediately sexualised, which is a mistake Faustus Crow makes.

Much to ruminate over…

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