9 of 30.
5 of 5 with Oshur’Osharu.
The Oshur’Osharu desert basically told me I need to be more concerned with respect than with friendliness. The gist is that I default to being friendly with entities. The ones I’ve been working with are about power and force - so being friendly, in these instances, is a bit of a miss match.
I one of the oddest experiences. I was meditating and fell into a trance state. I started crying, and felt like something was surfacing. I don’t remember much of it, but I recall saying “I remember that I am you.” Over and over again, I think King Paimon repeated what I said. I think I saw some sort of cloth material, in a vision. I suspect this is related to the “tearing of the veil” motif.
10 of 30.
A day of preparation for the idol of King Paimon.
The Book of King Paimon has a portion dedicated to making an idol. I gathered the ingredients, which are: various crystals, a dope looking stone cube, rum, my blood, and paint.
Note: I purchased the cube from etsy, and it was sandstone. King Paimon seemed pretty jazzed about the sandstone and where it was from.
Unrelated to the idol, I have some realizations while going on my morning walk. Early college, I had lots of one night stands. Bunches of em. Now, I am different. The realization is this: my ego was shouting (overpowering) my Venus.
This means that my ego kept yelling for more and more one night stands. (I need to say, this is a pragmatic development and not from fearing my animalistic sexual drive.) I did that for a while, and felt something missing. For several years, I didn’t follow up on why I felt this way.
My inner Venus, which handles connections, waited patiently in the background. If I listed to it, it would say that meaningful connections is what I desire. My ego insisted that it was a numbers game, while Venus knew I wanted connections with depth.