I hear you. The first post I ever made here explained my first contact with her a little more in detail.
The black thing is nothing really. Just the appearance side of things.
It’s more like the electrical burn thing that I felt all throughout my legs after she left, or maybe that was her entering? The sweating, the ridiculous sensitivities to everything especially food, the crying, the nervousness, the loss of everything besides my mother, the weight loss going from 175 to 120 because again, I couldn’t digest anything, and still can’t. The visits to the doctors, neurologists, the shrinks, who all turned out to be worthless.
I was posting on instagram while all of this was happening and let me tell you, if you want to see true comedy, check out someone’s Instagram page while they are going through an unexpected “kundalini” awakening.
Of course I deleted everything because well, that person himself was also deleted. He doesn’t exist anymore.
But all of that was then…
There are of course benefits to this power that she has given me, but I feel like I am being pushed too fast to make some moves in my life. That’s the thing. She needs constant stimulation, constant movement. You have to be doing something every single day in order to grow, to improve. Any sort of stagnation and I can feel her discontent in my body. I’m about to quit the best job I have ever had simply because it is doing nothing for me except giving me a paycheck every two weeks. No growth, no expansion, just money. With “Kali” around that just ain’t good enough. She wants you to experience something, get what you can from it, and bounce. On to the next. Every single day it is on to the next. “What can we conquer today?” She says…
The main reason I thought it was Kali is because, and i’ll never forget it, the first job I had post-contact and after finally feeling better, I drove past a street called “Kali Ln” everyday for several months on my way to work. My last couple of weeks working there I finally looked the name up because I had remembered seeing the word “Kali” while researching “Kundalini”, and then everything just clicked.