Journal - The O.A.A from the 1st to the 18th flame

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#41

November 3, 2018 (Europe: Paris), November 2, 2018 (America: Los Angeles)

Tomorrow will be the last day I perform this exercise, I know I am ready now at any rate here’s what happened.

Exercise 3: Instead of the white I decided to move on to the green one. The yellow one will be the one I finish with.

At any rate what was pretty fascinating was there was this chaos around me, the TV blared from the bedroom where my partner watched TV and there were people partying a few doors down and it didn’t bother me, at all.

I was just enjoying the feeling of feeling very connected - “rooted” to where I was. I felt very calm and collected it rather centered. While I could once more years birds singing inside my mind. Nature to me is more or less associated with peace and and is usually expressed in a gentle breeze or birds singing. The latter was the case today. I guess I would say I passed this exercise actually. At any rate once the I were ready I pushed the energy down my arm, it looked like a emerald green mist actually until I was drained of it. And thereby concluded the exercise.

I’ll continue report tomorrow on this as well as the other exercise.

Forever becoming

Teras390


#42

November 4, 2018 10:30 PM (Europe: Paris), November 4, 2018 1:30 PM (America: Los Angeles)

To note: I completed the exercise yesterday however I post about it today as there wasn’t enough time for me to sit down and write about it.

Exercise 3: the yellow candle will be the last candle that I do from this exercise, as I feel ready to move on now. At any rate the yellow candle evokes a very particular feeling of safety and wellness, as I contemplated the attribute of being watched over, I felt like I indeed was, worries that I had faded away as a result. I felt pretty determined and decisive, that is something I sort of feel normally but after that it was different like I had evoked the decisiveness of a military commander, it sounds silly saying it like this but that is sort of what it was. I continued to contemplate each and every attribute until I was sure I had it, then I moved on the releasing the energy it was pretty easy. Ever since I really committed to energy work pushing power is pretty dang easy,

The energy manifested like very deeply yellow mist but not quite like that either, I guess I could describe it like that it manifested in my arm following my blood vessels but at the same time manifesting as mist around my arm as well.

Once released I felt really drained but yet pretty happy about it, the result that is, from what I can see I am ready to continue and thus move on to the next exercise, which will be accounted for in the next post.


#43

November 5, 2018 11:34 AM (Europe: Paris), November 5, 2018 2:34 AM (America: Los Angeles)

To note: I decided to do two exercises instead of just as both are relatively short and can be done in conjunction with one another. After that there’s exercise 6 left before the recepit/innitation that comes with the first flame.

Exercise 4: This exercise is according to Koetting taken from Franz Bardon’s work, you invoke divine light into you and then expel it.

Here’s how it went down, I imagined a white orb instead of a golden initially that were casting its light down on the top of my head, as the orb lowered down to me the buzz and the feeling of pressure in my sahararah chakra increased very noticeably, from there it hit the top of my head I continued to “push” or funnel it down through my head and into my chest right into the Anahata chakra it became a large golden orb for a bit then I allowed to flow or rather disperse and flow into the other parts of my body, encasing me in a bright white light. As I saw this internally as an onlooker on the outside and the light continued to grow in terms of force and volume internally a high pitched ringing could be heard in my ears. I associate this with some sort of awakening of what I do not know, after sitting for a moment allowing the energy to grow relaxed my head and allowed it to fall back and released the energy through the mouth. As I exhaled The vision internally became pitch black for a brief moment then my internal vision returned and I found myself gazing at the living room where I sat form the ceiling.

I decided to pull back and I did notice that I felt a little off, like I had forgotten to breath normally for a bit, however I thought the energy expelling part would be more noticeable, becaue it wasn’t it a breath later and the above just happened. I decided that wasn’t good enough and maybe it wa smy imagination so I repeated the whole thing and the same thing again in the same way, I think I am going to need to either relax more or just repeat the exercise until I can pick up the thickness of the energy once it leaves me.

Exercise 5: This exercise consists of vibrating three god names: (1). El Shaddai; (2); Yod He Vave He; (3) Sat Nam.

I’ve done this exercise before so didn’t need the pratice round because I sort of got the idea but this exercise went quite well yet not. What I mean is as I vibrated: El Shaddai - the sound was clear but it was like the name itself for me was empty, it didn’t carry any weight like some names do, if I would say Amaymon the hairs on my arm would stand on end because his name invokes power. I think I am going to need to do some reserach about the name to help assume the essence of the name, however I remember correctly El-Shaddai is one name of GOD and it means GOD the almighty (Gud den allsmäktige in Swedish), I guess its my general opposition towards he concept of GOD, the christian one that is. I was taught if you speak about the christian GOD is should be caps as it is the one and only, the lower case god: means a god but not the GOD but that’s just uncessary fluff that no one or rather few people even remotely cares about.

After vibrating the amount of times the curriculum suggested didn’t do much, so I’ll try again tomorrow or later today. This time with a different pitch as I am sure the pitch you vibrate the name in has an effect on me as it will connect me to the god in question.

The second name was according to the book: Yod He Vav He (Yod He Vau He) - it pretty much according to the some sources means the same thing as the above a name for god or YHVH, or well to be picky it isn’t much of a name its apparently the word for the key to creation, the universal law of polarities, the name can be disscted in three parts but enough trivia for now. At any rate it went a bit better than the last one as it didn’t felt completely empty, I vibrated pretty heavily as soon as I allowed the name to be released from me, vibrated as in energtic vibration, bio electric tingling sensations all over and I just dropped into myself quite a bit like I existed in some sort of vacum, it was just me and nothing else really I were able to hold that state all thw way throughout the duration of vibrating the name.

The last name: Sat Nam - is a name I’ve gotten into contact with before the name is vibrated in Kubdalini Yoga and it can be translated as: I am truth - or - Truth is my essence from: Sat: truth; Nam: together, according to:

Among others. A slight tangent - I first came into contact with the name in the Mastring Soul Traveling Course and from understood from there it’s the being who funnels the source through him and use it to create everything from the Formative Plane. The name itself for some reason I knew it belonged to India as I recognized the other names to be of Judeo Christian origin. At any rate this name was the most tangible and powerful experience so far in terms of this exercise.
Feel free to correct me on the meaning of each name of you want to as I mainly have heard the name and had it explained to me both verbally and searched for it on the internet, however that doesn’t mean that it’s correct, the meaning of the names that is.

You only vibrate this name once as I did however I can’t say I transformed but it was like I assumed a form that wasn’t mine, I became a being of light more or less, its very hard to put the feelings into words, its like I indeed for the duration of the name I wasn’t me anymore I was something else, the environment felt empty around but I wasn’t powerless, I was surrounded by my own light in a field of indigo light. It was strange to say the least I guess I could call this last vibration a success but I am not sure I would need a input from someone more experienced to tell, there I ask: @Yberioth, @Lady_Eva, @triptych, @Micah? Would you care to advice me or point me in the right direction or better yet, please tell me how I am doing in this exercise?


#44

November 6, 2018 1:50 PM (Europe: Paris), November 6, 2018 4:50 AM (America: Los Angeles)

I’ll have to assume that I am on the right path then since no one decided to respond, very well. At any rate here’s how it went down.

Exercise 4: After invoking the light and building upon slowly but in my inner vision I expelled as was expected, but the overall feeling was that of yesterday, not much of a feeling that the energy left. This exercise is not really hard its just confusing me a bit I don’t feel the heaviness of the energy when it leaves me, as far as invoking the light in question it, I can feel it tingling and buzzing intensely as imagine the light grow brighter and larger. From there once exhaled after it has been compressed into a ball in my chest it should have had a very noticeable thickness going out but it didn’t, at least not the first time the second time I tried it, the second time however I choked up a little as the energy left me, it wasn’t bad it was just mildly uncomfortable but I could feel somethng this time for sure. To me that is a sign that I am doing it right. It was like a fairly large piece of I guess you could call it steam left me. I knew feel something leave me and the room became visible in the same manner as yesterday from the ceiling, I looked around for a short moment before recovering myself. And then moved on to the next exercise.

Exercise 5: Vibrating the god names is a very interesting ordeal, what I mean is I sort of get what I am supposed to do and I think I understand the general goal, but it’s like the goal is just out of reach. At any rate here’s the overall sensations linked to each vibration:

El Shaddai: I didn’t feel all that much just a slight influx of power and a sensation of sitting in darkness, at least internally I saw nothing but that, although for a brief moment there were several small points of light beneath my feet.

Yod He Vau He: This was Similar yet different to the previous one, more influx of enery and power, I more or less felt very void, like nothing but me exisited.

Sat Nam: I was surrounded by an endless sea of light and I was at its center, sure I felt like it was just me but I was one with the sea of light. It was very different feelings produced by vibrating the other two.

I have a feeling I am going to remain stuck with this exercise for a while. Not sure why this one bums be out this much…

Anyways despite my hang up I hope you are doing well for yourself and in your ascent, I wish you good luck if you need it.

Forever Becoming

Teras 390


#45

your experiences make sense to me… though i havent used any of those names; i’m all about the Demonic/Qliphothic/Infernal

since you yourself dont like the abrahamic “god” then using its names arent going to do much, if anything

however, your experience with vibrating yhvh reminds me of the idea of creation through emanation/restriction/descent into oneself, which is something the abrahamic “god” has been attributed with


#46

probably because youre having to attune yourself to those energies from scratch

just to be safe, i would make sure your attunement to the energies of Amaymon, Belial, etc hasnt diminished as a consequence (i dont really believe they would, but better safe than sorry)


#47

November 9, 2018 (Europe: Paris), November 8, 2018 (America: Los Angeles)

Exercise 4: similar to yesterday I finally hace gotten the hang out of it, after you focus the energy on your chest and you open your mouth and release it, ypu have to relax and ser the light leave you in order to get the desired outcome, I’ll have to take a good luck in the bion again to ensure I am doing it right.

However like yesterday My view still ends up near the ceiling where I do the meditation.

Exercise 5: the name El Shaddai finally seem to vibrate a little bit differently, as in when I vibrate I feel the sound not just vibrate in me but it vibrates outside of me, along with a small influx of power rushing though.

Yod he vau he: seems to do a very similar thing except I saw a small radiant golden beam shine down upon me as I vibrated the sound.

Sat Nam: once again I was surrounded by light and I was at its center, letting the light flow through me, me being it’s vehicle.


#48

November 9, 2018 3:10 PM (Europe: Paris), November 9, 2018 6:10 AM (America: Los Angeles)

Exercise 4: there’s not much to say other than the result was very consistent or identical to yesterday. The energy left me and along with me breath came the sensation of a thick mass of smoke leaving me as I exhaled the energy after pulled from and compressing it in my chest. I did the same exercise twice to be sure. And like I said yesterday you sort of really need to view the energy as it leaves you, otherwise you likely are just going through the motions without really digging into the exercise. At any rate the same effect happens every single time I do this , it’s like I am standing above my head, floating almost as I view the room around me, in addition to me choking up a little as it did, which is something that’s likely to happen if you do the exercise.

Exercise 5: was very similar and yet different than yesterday. I’ll explain I feel very neutral as of doing these god names as of late. I cannot say I am geared towards one or the other even though my particular taste for entities has been demons, I have slowly come to realize these names really do affect me in a very profound way. At any rate:

El Shaddai: the name itself brings about a slight influx of power along with a sensation of emptiness still, however as I vibrate the name it doesn’t just vibrate within me but around me as well. My ritual area/temple feels very neutral despite me having a very infernal/draconian type of temple set up. It’a odd however my connection with the entities I work with haven’t been altered I feel I have somewhat…

You He Vau He: this time it was pretty much the same as yesterday, the light above became more clear though, the trick I’ve realized is that I have to let go of any judgement of the Christian god, in order to embody that name, which I’ve done little by little. The influx was still as prominent as yesterday.

Sat Nam: the reason why this was easier for metro get into was, Sat Nam just creates, he doesn’t do anything else, interfere, squabble, burn cities, etc. he just is. And this name sort of had the same imagery as the last time except that I lost touch with my body this time as I came out of the last vibration, I had forgotten where I sat once more.

I vibrate the names with my eyes closed as of helps me focus. At any rate this concludes the exercise for today. I’ll update tomorrow if I did the time, until then enjoy your ascent.

Forever Becoming

Teras390


#49

November 10, 2018 10:55 PM (Europe: Paris), November 10, 2018 1:55 PM (America: Los Angeles)

Exercise 4: after invoking the light in me I felt really warm and intgly all over previously I just felt tingly or rather like the bioelectrical currents in me had increased as a result of dropping deep into myself, now the light felt very warm along with the added surge of power. Other than that it was the same result as yesterday as I “visualized” the energy leaving me while it happened very much automatically as I exhaled the visuals just seem to make my mind more willingto not getting in the wayl. Other than the clarity of which I see the room really starts to become very clear. As in the area I am sitting in appears indigo blue with a little static in the way. Which is something that didn’t happen before however that might have something to the with the exercise from Lucier Amaymon called - The Serpent’s Breath. At any rate I am aware that the light I invoke clean me up little by little every day, it’s become clearer and clearer every single time I do it, that it’s the case.

Exercise 5: Is very similar to the effects of yesterday I’ll explain:

El Shaddai: today as I had not been drinking much water at all my voice didn’t vibrate as cleanly first time I vibrated the name, however by relaxing and allowing the breath along with the name “fall out” as I exhale the vibration became clean the second and the third time around me, other than the internal sensation of emptiness nothing much happened other than that i could feel the vibration in my head and around me at the same time.

Yod He Vau He: The the result was identical to yesterday I really didn’t notice any difference that I was aware of.

Sat Nam: This name was very similar yet different from yesterday with the single vibration it evoked not only a feeling of emptiness in me along with a really noticeable surge of power and visually a golden sea of light around me. This name I think I’ve really gotten the hang of in terms of doing it correctly. The effect shpuld be internal and external and if it is it should also evoke an image from what I’ve been able to determine. We’ll see if I am correct as I contuine with this.


#50

November 11, 2018 5:20 PM (Europe: Paris), November 11, 2018 8:20 AM (America: Los Angeles)

As far as these exercises go its hard to know if I am doing them right or not but I am starting to think in not too long I should move on as far exercise 4 goes I think I can replace that with that exercise 6 in not too far of a future, at any rate here’s how it went.

Exercise 4: after invoking white light I noticed two things once the buzzing sensation in me had become more strong and I could feel it more intensly it wasn’t uncomfortable in anyway, it was like some sort internal massage if that makes sense. Other than that I was pretty cold my hands felt like Ice sickles but this exercise made me feel much warmer than before, after keeping in me until I was sure I could feel it like it was a small fire I released in an exhale. I indeed the book says choked a little and I still could see the room around me pretty clearly I must say.

Exercise 5: as far as this exercise go a few changed since yertday but nothing ground breaking. I’ll explain

El Shaddai: felt really odd doing today not I could feel the vibration pretty much all over me but I didn’t need to do it very loudly either. I can still feel that minor influx of power along with that odd sensation of emptiness, once more thing I lost touch with my again as I did this, the emptiness within me was more noticeable than ever before.

Yod He Vau He: I lost the sense of my body even more and a pillar of golden light hit my crown and cascaded down upon me.

Sat Nam: identical experience towards yesterday except the vibration seemed to just dispel any uncertatinties or stress I might’ve felt before hand. I think as I vibrate this name it alters you to view the world and yourself differently. Which indeed is sort of the purpose of vibrating a name to invoke the specific energies belonging to that name into you and around you.

I’ll move on to exercise 6 tomorrow after attmepting exercise 4 one more time to be sure. Until then I wish you luck if you need it.

Forever becoming

Teras390


#51

All of that was accurate :ok_hand:
Doing a great job man


#52

Exercise 4: This exercise went pretty smoothly as the golden light hits my crown and washes over me my body feels very relaxed and almost ecstatic. I’d like to call it a relaxing energetic shower that comes with internal massage. Its hard to describe the heat and power was very noticeable today along with other effects, my mind clearer and I feel more awake and alert than I did before. But other than that the light really energized me and cleaned my system during the time it was invoked, and thereby strenghtening my astral body. At any rate once exhaled after the energy (light) had been compressed into a golden ball inside my chest, the energy that left me was indeed very palpable and I once more found myself viewing the room from the ceiling like my head was up there looking down on the living room, along with the static vision.

So from now on replace this with exercise 6 from the curriculum, I think I’ve mastered this exercise, with that being said that doesn’t mean this exercise can’t be explored any further or be improved upon, perhaps even have other applications which I might’ve missed this time around. But any rate I’ll update soon with exercise 6 but before that I’ll describe that happened as I vibrated the names today.

Exercise 5: I think I’ve actually got it this time however I haven’t really mastered this yet. I’ll explain.

El Shaddai: as I vibrated the name three times (as the curriculum say you shoul do) a few things happened, first the name no longer felt empty, now all of a sudden it has started to contain power a pretty strong influx of power occured as I could feel the name vibrate within me and around me. The first time vibrating the name it just didn’t ring well or felt right, the second and third time however I lost sense of my body for a bit, the vibration shook my body and I could feel it vibrating in the room around in a very intense way and I really felt like I had the power of a supreme being, that I wa sno longer just vibrating the name that I was the name.

Yod He Vau He: the vibration not only invokes light around me a large pillar but also made me lose the sense of having a body even more than the previous vibration. This exercise no longer was just a slight influx of power I could feel the energy above me washing over me, purifying and energizing me. Along with that came a feeling of emptiness as before it wasn’t like I was just alone it was more than that, it was a feeling of cold detacthment I guess a veru neutral state is the word like everything was exactly the way it supposed to be and I was the center of it, very abstract I know.

Sat Nam: is the most clear name of them all as in the name itself just invokes light from every direction and I am both the recipient of it and at the same time the manifester of it, as the light comes into me it also leave me. Along with being surrounded everywhere by the sea of light I felt temendous amount of power enter me and also leave me along with the light. My Sahasrarah and Ajna Chakra are still vibrating pretty heavily, to me this is a great sign I am doing it right. Along with exercise 6 I’ll do an another update on this.

To note: This may seem like I might be exaggerating and I am moving along pretty quickly now, however by doing energy work I’ve found that my overall psyhic senses as well as visual abilities have magnified little by little. Energy work along with already having some gifts from the get go create a very synergistic effect, especially when coupled with other exercises like this/these one’s.


#53

Exercise 5: I decided to do this exercise once more not necessarily to speed up the process but the ensure I wasn’t just making stuff up the result where indentical. There’s no need to reiterate.

Exercise 6: This exercise combines a lot of principles you’ve learned thus far, like from exercise 3 and 4, are supposed to create a sphere of bright of light around you, to do that you need to channel light from above to be successful you have to learn how to control your breath. So the idea is you kneel and face east from there you inhale and clasp your hands save for your two index fingers which meet with the fingertips and then you inhale and “pull” light into yourself as you do, then you exhale focus the energy into the fingertips and then create the sphere in question.

As far as this exercise go well I guess I can say for my first try I sort of pass but not quite, my issue seem to lie in synching the breath correcly. I can see the light feel it enter me and purify me. As I exhale I can eventually with enough repetition get a sense of a sphere but I seem to be unable to focus the energy from the get go. I’ll repeat this exercise a few times to be sure about this. The sphere feels and appears like a thin translucent film, made out of faint white light, the overall feel is that its there but lacks real density. This will need some work to solidify properly.

UPDATE: I redid this exercise, now I already had a practice round before I just redid it however the visuals and energtic sensations where more clear, as in the colour the intensity of the sphere was not longer just a thin film, it became more radiant and thick this time around, as inhaled last time I was unsure how long you should inhale and I inhaled through the mouth insead of the nose, in some cases that works (mouth breathing) but in this it hinders and I found myself finding a flow, as you don’t stop or pause before you channel the energy. So inhale and invoke the light exhale and focus the energy and release. Thereby I found it becoming pretty easy and natural I’ll do this for a few more days and we’ll see how this progress.


#54

A side note: accroding to me I had an insane off day I really wasn’t feeling it today but irregardless I did the exercises but the feel and the results where really lacking today for some reason.

Exercise 5: I did not vibrate at full volume today but I figured that shouldn’t matter once the technique and feel had developed like it had as of late, or so I thought…

El Shaddai: the name lacked in anything else other than an influx of power that was really it.

Yod He Vau He: Very much the same as the above but the light was only visible for a short moment but not as of the whole exercise.

Sat Nam: very much the same as the other two although I saw the light around me during the vibration but the feeling from yesterday wasn’t there.

Exercise 6: very similar to the above in terms of overall result, after invoking the light I noticed an ever so slight alteration of the mind, and a very slight surge oe energy could be felt as it entered me through my fingers, it says in the book to concentrate energy into the point of the fingers (index) and the release, well on the plus side I could feel the light being concentrated into the fingertips, however feeling how the light then form a sphere as let my hands fall to my sides into the floor, was very weak, I could just visualize it not really tangibly feel it despite repeating the exercise over and over again.

So all in all the results of today were crap. Better luck tomorrow. What I’ve learned is some magician’s like me for example have off days, shit just don’t go your way, however that is just a sign that I need to relax and not stress and to learn how to be more consitent in my practice.

I’ll update tomorrow and see if I do better, until then I wish you the best in your ascent.

Teras390