Journal - The O.A.A from the 1st to the 18th flame

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#1

This will be my journal as I ascend through the flames I’ve already detailed some of my experiences of the first exercise of the first flame in my paper journal. I thought I should show others, if anything to help verify and encourage others to work through them. An update will follow later today with my experience regarding the first exercise well as (in good time) the experiences relating to receiving of the flames.


#2

To note I will just describe my sensations and experiences working through them, I will not describe the mechanics of the exercises as that would likely be copyright infringment and I don’t want to get sued or hunted by demons :wink: as a result. Without further ado here’s what I’ve got so far:

Lessons of the 1st flame

2018 -08 - 16

Exercise 1: I was at times during the exercise somewhat unfocused, my mind wandered somewhat, so that instead of seeing the dark mist I instead saw images of people I had talked to, things I wanted to do but it was for brief moment about 5 times during the whole session. Some of the things I’ve noticed is that the internal vision is clearing up quite a bit, I am beginning to see images and the environment around me as is expected of the exercise it’s still grainy but I still can make out the place I am meditating in pretty well and in “flashes” the grainy parts disappear and for a shirt moment I see the room crystal clear. What’s clearer though are the sensations of the mist swirling just on top of my skin, it’s cold and warm at the same time and it also gives off an enormous amount of energetic pressure all over my body. The mist in visual terms looks like black smoke. Other than that there’s not much to add except that I can sort of tell I am really improving in terms of visual abilities, one more thing though has become pretty clear instead of me viewing the mist coming at me the whole experience is seen from a 1st person view, instead of a 3rd person view (outside of myself) which was the case before, viewing the experience from a 1st person view definently changed the overall dynamic of the exercise.

Side note: upon concluding the above exercise I asked one of the spirits I work with if I was ready to move one and according to him I am, however I must say I felt sort of ready but not quite, the distraction rate is a bit too high. I am aware that you shouldn’t doubt a spirit however I don’t feel ready quite yet, I need to rest assured that I can do this exercise flawlessly without moments of interruption before I move on, as I am confident that one exercise builds upon the other and so forth all the way throughout this pathworking.

2018-08-17

Exercise 1: Today the overall experience was similar to the one I had yesterday with the exception that there was less mental distraction this time around. The overall visual clarity is still there like yesterday and the overall scenery came in flashes going from grainy to perfectly clear visuals in flashes. What was prevalent today was the openness of the Sahasrara chakra at the top of my head, it wasn’t pulsating but a definite electrifying sensation like an energetic pillar was extending into it and also a very noticeable sensation of the energy pressing down and spreading out all at the same time. One more thing that was more pronounced today was that I was able to relax more and thereby also pay more attention to the physical sensations the black mist instilled in me. It definitely could be felt like a lukewarm magnetic pressure coming towards me and away from me as I inhaled and exhaled, the overall sensation it gave me as it connected with me was neither good or evil - regardless of what the text in the book says, the mist more felt like as I expect death to feel like, peaceful, without beginning and without end, something that has always existed.

Side note: One thing that I’ve always added to the exercise despite it not being apart of it is absorbing as much of the mist around me as I possibly can and make myself apart of the same field, thus acclimating to it, initially I felt anxiety when I did this, however as time has moved on it doesn’t bother or make me feel anything dreadful at all just a feeling of hunger remains, a thirst that can only bs satiated by experiencing more of the power and sensations that the exercises instill upon me.

2018 - 08 - 18

Exercise 1: the sensations was similar to yesterday with the exception that the mist could be more distinctly felt upon my skin, plus the amount of distractions seem to be correlated with the stronger I can perceive the visual as wellas tactile stimuli that goes along with the exercise. I definently tried to stick to a more well 1st person view and at the end of the exercise all of me was buzzing with energetic activity and the chakras seemingly started to activate as a result.

  • NOTICE: I took a break for two days, and I was sloppy in journaling for two days hence the gap between the 18th and the 24th.

2018 - 08 - 24

Exercise 1: Today, the distractions were pretty much reduced to none, however there were a few moments not at all many where I noticed my mind wandereding off, however it was pretty easy getting back once I noticed it happening. The dark mist could definently be felt as a congealed mass of spiritual pressure, along with the visual represenstation as the mist reminding me of bellowing smoke, interestingly whenever I see the mist it looks like my body is lighting up my suroundings in a light blue astral light whenever and wherever I look aroundm and the longer I can keep my focus the smore vividly the sensations along with the visual sensations become. As the mist enters the room the place that I look at seem to elongate just before the mist entered, it wasn’t until the end that the voices that is described to come along with the exercise started to become audible to me,there weren’t words, there just sounds, whispers, at time even something that reminded of human voices, if it was neighbours or simply my astral senses, is hard to differentiate even now. It’s really close now, I can feel it.


#3

2018-08-24

Exercise 1: Today was my most poweful session yet, I experienced one time with my mind wandering off throughout the entirety of it. As I relaxed and held my breath and directed all negative feelings I had accumulated during the day from stress in my chets and releasing and dispersing it above me - I was able to really relax into the exercise and let if flow. All the steps of the exerciose finally started to just unravel and no longer felt forced, like I was trying to concoct something as is common when you start off with a new exercise at times, at least that’s been a thing for me in the past.

The allowance and flow of the sensations around me became clearer and more focused as a result, the visuals I experienced didn’t fade as it has been doing thus far, it simply remained in fairly clear focus all the way throughout the exercise. In addition the by keeping the view constantly in a first person view it helps to not detach from the experience and also increasing the veracity of it. At the end of it after absorbing the mist around me and basking in this primal yet peaceful state I really felt highly enegetic and in strangely enough peaceful. Which is I one way find odd yet I feel as I shouldn’t waste any time focusing on it and just continue with the exercise.

The keys I’ve been taking away from this exercise so far that will help out with pretty much anything else are: relaxtion & reptition and more importantly allowance along with letting your imgination flow, and the veracity of the experience will dawn upon you if not now soon enough as it has for me today.


#4

2018- 08-26

Exercise 1: I finally nailed it! No distractions, just stillness, the the black mist could truly be felt on all sides in such terrifying clarity I barely recognized I had a body anymore. It really pressed into me at all sides, even without the visuals the veracity in terms of tactile and auditory experience were more than enough to lose track that I was in my living room. Previously I still had a sense of being connecyed were I sat but not anymore.

The thing was the dark mist can’t be refuted by my senses any longer, if it’s an illusion I must be a master at decieving myself then. I’m ready to move on starting tomorrow.


#5

2018-08-27

Exercise 2: this exercise begins like the previous one except that a pendulum is added, the exercise consists of allowing it swinging back and forth for 10 minutes uninterrupted. As expected this exercise is a challange for me due to my highly overactive mind.

I have noticed physical exercise before doing anything magick related at all helps to focus and mental chattering. I am going to add regulr exercise from now on to see if it helps.

What helped me above all else is: relaxation and to not over-focus (if that’s even a word?) or perhaps bettet put as: ”obsessing about getting it right”, it makes you tense up and as such impedes visualization and being able to focus, focusing shouldn’t be hard unless I make it hard for myself.

As for the overall distraction rate, it was fairly low, this is because I’ve been doing other meditations along with this one on the side, like the Blue Ray meditation, I think it’s what’s really is helping me to reduce the amount of distractions as of late.

One thing that bugs me the pendulum should swing uninterrupted, would something like the pendulum turning while swinging class as such, as well as it fading out for a brief moment before coming back contuining the motion it had begun be classfied as an interruption…

Interruption, to me, is when I loss track of the pendulum completely and random images and/or sounds takes its place for moment until I realize and get back on track, so what’s a interruption in terms of this exercise?

What do you say @Lady_Eva, @Micah , others?


#6

@Teras390
The thing that will keep the Vizualization in place is your Will.
Next time you practice, do this:

Sense your Will as a Pulse in your Stomach area and feel it Traveling up your spine into your head. This will Give you control over your mind and its focus.

Proceed to do the exercise.

If you lock your Will onto the pendulum it will stay there regardless. :metal:


#7

Awsomepro tip! I’ll do that during the next session today. My question then is - if successful on my first try should I move on or should I stay to practice consistency?


#8

Practice it until you can look at a pendulum anywhere, anytime, anyplace :metal:
Easier than you think


#9

Will do, I’ll continue to provide notes as I’ve done previously and we’ll see how long it takes. I was suprised it’s helps reporting notes like this because it helps with motivation on my part plus it helps me keep of track of the learning curve.


#10

2018-08-28

Exercise 2: I followed @Micah ’s advice and attempted to give the experiencing the pulse a go before doing the exercise, to my credit I was somewhat successful on my first try but I weren’t able to maintain that state all the way through out the exercise, and as a result I noticed that a few times during the session the sensation of steel focus was redirected to my abdomen and along came catchy songs which has been occupying my playlist for some time, like:

I will try to emply the trick of hearing the end of the song in my head, it’s supposed to help. Music is some of the greatest joys of life but in this context it hinders rather than helps.

Other than that the pendulum when seen could be seen somewhat semi clearly but probably has to do with the lack of physical exercise today, we’ll see if I am successful later today. I knew this exercise would be hard for me but I am confident that with persistence and above all not being an hardass on myself it’s eventually going to become easy, and the reason because it’s hard it probably because I really need to master it to be sucessful with a host of other stuff. What’s is it’s just this exercise when it comes to Evocation - distractions like songs in my head aren’t a problem, what I think is happening is that I am becoming bored with viewing the pendulum and if it’s seen as somethating that’s boring it’s tuned out.

So what I need to try to fix this from where I am at now is: (1). More rgular physical exercise in general, as it definently will help with this and other stuff, five times a week instead of three; (2). changing the outlook of the exercise instead of viewing just as a random obstacle that needs to be overcome and done with, I should try to approach as something meaningful and something helpful. That way my mind won’t zone out; (3). Stick with the exercise and not skipping past because I find it a waste of time; (4). Not to be hard on myself if I find this exercise and as I’ve understood I am by far to only one who has trouble with something like this, and even more so a reason to work hard and enjoy the ride.

I’ll attempt to update later today as said before, until then, good luck to you all.


#11

2018-09 -03

Exercise 2 - session #1: today this particular exercise was a bit difficult to perform, distractions came to me every now and then but I found myself able to stay on the pendulum failry well, the weren’t many visual distractions but there were audiotory distractions that were more frequent. Micah’s tip helped with the visual aspect of the meditation, so thanks Micah. :wink:

Anyways all of the auditory didn’t seem to be random like, memories or pieces of songs running through some of them seemed like instructions, I remmeber one saying:

“Allow yourself to focus instead of forcing yourself to focus and the you will see that outside influence will be a thing of the past.”

or

“See and sense the object before you thereby unveiling it’s characteristics to you and your interest and thereby its veracity will welcome you, and thoughts around it will cease.”

Weird but interesting, and surely will allow me once dissect it to become keys of progress. Before this exercise I came in from a walk that lasted about 20 minutes, it deifiently helped to stave off the worst of the internal buzz, I should probably skip suger that I usualy enjoy at the weekends and start drinking more water I have a feeling it might help with everything else. On the upside it’s getting better that’s the only consolation, slowly but surely I am getting the hang of this exercise as it is nowhere near as difficult as it used to be.


#12

2018-09-05

Exercise 2: after coming out of the exercise just now I feel like I am on the right track despite the fact I got distracted for a few moments here and there - a.k.a bored, the amount of times my mind gets distracted seem to slowly but surely diminish, however it’s too slow for my taste but perhaps doing the exercise more than once a day might help.

I am proud to say I’ve managed to steer clear of sugar as of late, it seems to help with the visual aspects of meditation a bit more, its said that sugar calcifies the third eye I don’t know if that has any merit to it but we’ll see some day soonl. I made sure to have a walk before this exercise began so atleast that was taken care of. The only thing left I can imagine that might’ve made me more prone to get distracted could’ve been my coffe consumption, I should try reduce to one cup instead three a day for a week and see if it helps.

This exercise is tricky for me and I do not know why, my guess lies in the paradox that I need to relax but at the same time I need to focus on the swinging pendulum and I can only do that when really focus hard (so hard I can feel my brain wrangling itself together in knots, it’s a dilemma to me, but perhaps reducing the amount of caffeine and sticking with the exercise might pay off hopefully soon. I don’t know why such a seemingly easy exercise is so hard for me, I already do other meditations and thhey work fine, why not this…I am going to think about this what might be the cause of me taking so long with this exercise, I can’t blame ADHD for this…

Question to you, the reader - want me to update daily or only when I reach the point of recieving the flame in question @Micah, @calix_osseus, others?


#13

do u take meds for ADHD? i get elvanse for mine and it totally screws my ability to visualize complex things, and i have hyperphantasia…

without elvanse, i could (and have) maintained a vivid, complex visualization for hours on end of myself as a different person, and in a completely different place and time, while still being able to carry out daily tasks… but with elvanse or other stimulants? forget it! …coffee might be an exception for me, however…

daily! also, would be nice to know a bit more about what the exercises are, so we know what youre talking about when you describe your experiences


#14

As for the medication I don’t any as of right now and when I do I take Ritalin. It does help focusing but like you said visualization gets a whole lot harder in return.

I can’t tell if my abillity to visualize is improving because I am not taking the meds or if the exercises I am doing, the pendulum especially is helping out in this regard. In regards to wether or not I shoul take is a hard nut to crack as I am going to need ot soon to pull off studying up for incoming exams so my mind won’t jump here and there as I sit for hours.

I’ll try and do that update daily like I did in the beginning as well as detailing more about the exercises. Why I haven’t is because I don’t know what I can and can’t say or how much I can detail about them without getting sued for copyright infringement. I’d like to say more the exercises though, probably should ask the author about it.


#15

2018-09-07

Exercise 2: slowly but surely the pendulum starts maintain its momentum in the darkness around me. The only highlight that I can see is the amount of times where the mind wanders off are being reduced seemingly with each session. If I am going to be picky, which I am, the previous forms distraction seemingly has been replaced by an another form of it, as the chain holding the pendulum swings back and forth, it at times, spun in circles or jump around a bit as if someone’s pulling in the chain and it bobs up and down or the scenery changed angle.

The only time I feel like I have any real success with this exercise is after applying Micah’s tip along with folding my brain into knots, as I do that it feels like I am able to hold the pendulum before my eyes longer than if I just relax and let it flow, then it just seems to swing for a bit and dissappear for a while then comes back through a very grainy background.

I’ve found that if I lift my gaze and focus it in my ajna chakra (third eye) while attempting to visualize the pendulum swinging, it seems to help a bit in terms of keeping the pendulum in clear view.

I am not sure what I should do to make this exercise fall into place. It bothers while I can do basic evocation stuff like this isn’t a problem, why is it when it’s not an evocation setting? (>_>) perhaps I should just give it time and not make a hen out of a feather and thus following my own advice…


#16

2018-09-08

Exercise 2: The overall purpose of the exercise, in case it wasn’t crystal clear, is to devlop your visual abillities and improve your focus, you do it by visualizing a pendulum swinging back and forth surrounded by a black background for 10 minutes. Before you see the pendulum swing contemplate the dark mist as described in exercise one, then dispell the mist and darkness and you visualize the pendulum swing uninterupted for the designated amount of time.

I just got out of the exercise and I feel somewhat proud of myself because the exercise finally is starting to fall into place. This is due to I finally seem to be able to use Micah’s jedi mind trick - the pulse -and as a result the distraction rate was heavily reduced. To be more precise the audiotory distractions were pretty much gone and the visuals were very few and occured sporadically through out the session.

Interestingly enough I found that once distracted it was getting back to focusing on the pendulum swining. In regards to the other types of visual distractions when pendulum was in focus were few indeed - like the janking of the chain, switching angles, etc. were there too but there were, once again, fewer times this happened tp me than before. So thanks a bunch @Micah . :wink:


#17

2018-09-12

  • The big gap is because of school work and focusing on spending time with people I care about.

Exercise 2: Today once the first meditation was cleared out and I started to view the pendulum, it has visually clearer however today was a hard day to keep focus, not too hard but hard, as in there were more times than the last time I reported that the visual distractions along with auditory one’s were more frequent, I am really tired of this exercise to be honest but I can expect quick results if I take big breaks and don’t do this particular exercise more than once a day. I do other exercises perhaps I should cut one of those out for the time being as this takes about 20 - 25 min to complete.

As for the overall results it’s getting there, that’s for sure very slowly but surely. The energy work seem to really the aid the visualls along and this exercise seem to work on that aspect as well. We’ll see if I am able to update on one more session today, until then I wish you the best and to whomever reads this the only thing I have to say is, sorry I bore you with this but my only guess is the reawrd will bve great if you put in the work do whatever you are doing in your ascent, stick with it and don’t give up. :wink:


#18

2018-09-13

Exercise 2: this exercise is beginning to dawn on me, it’s gotten easier to perform each time I do it, I ought to do it two times a day instead of once, it ought to at the very least increase the learning speed. Perhaps I make it harder than it needs to be and that’s why its taking nearly forever to complete. But to honest I have had big gaps and thus I can’t expect to wake up one day and just be able to do it. On the upside the pendulum at least today swung evenly, no janking in the chain or spinning in circles as it has in the past. There were of course as I talked about in the past a few distractions were my mind wandered away, this meditation seems to have made me aware of when that happens and thus it’s easier to find my way back to the watching the pendulum swing back and forth.

I do notice as a result of this meditation I am slowly becoming more aware when my mind wanders off and as an added bonus my mind is often a quest place these days. I’ll see if I can add one more session to this one later, in any case I do feel pretty satisfied about the results I am starting to see.


#19

2018-09-17

Exercise 2: l blame lack of sleep for my lack of concentration today. In short there were so much visual distractions I truly had to force myself to relax and concentrate and even then it lasted för a few minutes, I’ll redo the exercise later today once I’ve rested. I barely saw the pendulum as a result of the visual clutter. Lack of sleep messes with cognitive function where concentration and attention is major.

Wish me luck as I hope I’ll do better the second time around.


#20

2018-09-18

NOTE: I failed to report about this exercise yesterday and so this the update, however I intend to get into the exercise soon and additional update will follow this one fairly soon.

Exercise 2: the pendulum swung quite nicely when I finally were able to focus on it through the maelstrom that raged in my mind yesterday, I think know why it happened it might’ve been I hadn’t prepared myself properly for the exercise, I had been sloppy yesterday I had a lot of caffeine (3 cups) along with one cup of tea and sugar, not really a good combo for meditation, however I should not do that at all, atleast reduce the caffeine and eliminate sugar, I should know better. However this an exercise and like Kurtis Jospeh says its called an exercise for a reason so I’ll stay with it until its mastered, even though its incredibly tempting to skip past it and move on to the next one which quite honestly seems to be way more fun than this one.

The most noteable flaw in todays session was muscle tention since that might that might fuck up a thing or two. The most noticeable internal distraction are the visual one’s, various objects and people popped in and out of focus, almost sneaking upon me, perthaps I should add some mindfullness exercises along with this as a way of jump starting this exercise and finally be able to pull it off. We will see if my dedication will someday bare fruit unntil then I shall persevere.