Journal of sleep paralysies experience

(Just to keep track of what I experience, because I still didn’t buy a book to write this in it)

My first experience was arround 6 years old. I was sleeping alone in the bedroom of someone from my family and I suddenly felt heavy and unable to move. Since 4 years maybe, I don’t really know, There was a drunken clown the size of a child sitting in a chair in the room. When I was in sleep paralisy, I saw him slide with the chair to the bed and then I found myself on the stomach and he spanked me. it’s something that scared me when I was a child because my father was doing it when I did something wrong at his eyes ^^"

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My second experience was arround 14 years old.
I was sleeping in my bedroom and like many years ago, I found myself unable to move and heavy.
This time to clown in the room x)
My eyes was open, but I’ve only seen a girl sitting on the corner of my bed. I can not remember what she was looking like :/, she was a little like me.
I talked to her
" What do you want from me !? If you want to kill just do it ! Stop terorizing me !" At this point I just entered a crazy state of mind that breaked my fear. I was just waiting for something to happen. But she never looked at me. She keep watching the wall, or maybe the Mirror, I am not sure.
Just before quitting the sleep paralisy, I saw a little box spinning in the air and that make me laught so much without reason. It was just so funny.

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After that, I had other experiences of sleep paralysis, here and there. But I never stayed there long because I was now able to get out when I wanted by forcing myself to move.
It can be pretty painful, especially for the neck.

Since I’ve derealization 24h/24, so since 7 months approximatively, I experience sleep paralisy mostly everytime I sleep alone.
I now feel no fear when I’m in this state, If I am not confortable I know I can quit when I want. But I also see nothing now, nothing appear to me. No clown, no little girl, or men or shadow…
Sometime I hear voice, or I can ear the radio making white noise. I am happy that now nothing come to scare me, it let me explore this strange thing that happen to me without being disturbed.
I will try to come write here everytime it will happen.

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Yesterday before taking a nap, I was making story in my head. I was thinking about Duke Sallos, trying to make an image of him in my head and making sex story in my head… I wanted to imagine what it could be with him >.>
Then while I imagined all this, I began to think that I was not happy, and for the first time I heard a male voice in my head, coming from nowhere,
"do you want me make you happy? "
maybe it was my head playing tricks on me, but maybe that was not the case. So I said “yes I want it”. a few minutes later I was again in sleep paralisy. I kept my eyes closed, but when I opened them a little I saw a dark silhouette with … “tentacles”, as if slenderman was in my room, that’s what comes to mind when I think about it again x)
Nothing happened and the paralysis faded by itself.
Maybe next time ahah

Some day ago I’ve fell again in sleep paralysie, again no fear inside me.
But like many time, I have suddently feel aroused.
I’ve seen no one arround me, but I could feel something, at least a little.
When I’m in sleep paralysie, I am still able to speak ! So without controling me I said
“Take me, I want it, please”
But nothing never happen… And I just force myself to wake up again.
Next time I will try to stay longer

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What I’m able to do after some practice in sleep paralysie:

  • I’m able to open and close my eyes.
  • I can talk, but I don’t know if it’s only in my head or if my mouth really move. But it’s different than if I just think/talk in my head.
  • I can control my fear
  • If I am too affraid, I can easilly wake me up, but the more I stay in sleep paralysie, the more ir become difficult to wake up… I have to work on that
    Also I have to open more my eyes, and try to communicate with what I see.
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The sleep paralysis is happening to you without wanting it, right? I think that’s some kind of trance state and I can’t move when it happens to me without wanting it, too. That’s nasty.
It’s near the state of loosening one’s astral body from the physical body. I didn’t succeed in that unfortunately until now. I want to astraltravel.

I try to find a teacher like Thalos but get no contact.

if you need to scape the paralysis just breath each time heavier until you can hear your own breath noise, then you will be able to move

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Sleep paralysie is something that can happen to anybody, at least once it their life :slight_smile:
I don’t know if it’s a trance state… I think it’s something separate from that, but I don’t know much than the scientific fact :confused:

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I’m already able to do it :slight_smile: my trick is to move my head ! And it wake me up.
It’s just that the more I stay in this state the more it’s difficult to wake up, but I can practice it by doing the same trick I think. It’s more easy I think to move my head than to concentrate on my breath when Im afraid

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You’re first vision with the clown symbolizes some person which annoys you, such a dream might indicate someone close to you is dishonest and unfair and is playing games with you.

The second vision with the girl sitting on your bed indicates a lack of trust who has control over you and but has no interest in your welfare. The spinning mystery box indicates you’re fear of the unknown.

You are longing for some type of freedom in your life and letting go of previous events, you feel there is a lack of support around you from people that have control over you that should be interested in your future and success but have decided not to encourage you but to enforce there control without regard to your interests.

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I don’t really like when people come from nowhere to give an explanation from things like that, but I still appreciate it ! ^^ thank you really much!

I was very young when this happened, and the clown was already in the room, it was a doll that was fucking scaring me x) the only person that was with me at this time that go with your description could be my “father”, it’s a nazi, racist that beat children…

I don’t trust people and it’s for a good reason x) I don’t give it to the first person I see for sure.
And for the spinning box, even if it didn’t scared me it’s a fear ? I was just finding it funny to see it spin.
But yeah, since I was a little girl I fear what I dont know, that’s why I’m affraid of the dark. But since I have derealization my mind is just “I don’t care, come kill me if you want, now I just live my life”

Who don’t hope for some sorr of freedom ahah
Nobody have control over me since 11 years, since all my family stopped to be my family.
(Or since 4 years, when my “mother” decided to abbandon me). And yes they wasn’t interested in me or my future, but they didnt even try to take more control. My “mother” was and is a coward.

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Some day ago I fell again in sleep paralysie.
For once I sleeped without lights.
I heard someone whistle a melody but it wasn’t in my bedroom, it was behind the door. I opened my eyes, nothing was in my room. The radio maked sound and I forced myself to wake up.

I’ve contacted Lucifer recently, to make a petition to help me with my derealization, I want to know what is happening to me, and take action depending on this information.
I say to him that if he want to talk to me about what he want for a second offering that he can come talk to me when I will be in sleep paralysie. I didn’t fell in sleep paralysie since that time. I’m still waiting for him.

Any method to protect yourself during sleep paralysis?
So many times i found myself being fed by entity/parasite during sleep paralysis for a very short time.

Not for now, because I don’t feel attacked… But I will think of something thank you :slight_smile:

Your texts are very interesting. I use to have sleep paralysis when i was Younger.
First time i heard voices screaming, the Second one i saw a being with wings, and he screamt, a angry scream. I use to have horribles nightmares too, like me being smashed slowly by mountains.
When i grow up these things started to diminish

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A doctor said me that they tend to disapear with time, the more you become older :slight_smile:
So if it is something you fear it should reassure you :smile:
For me it just happened more xD but I lost most of my fear from it :slight_smile:
I belive that what we saw during this state are either real or mean something ! You should try to seak answer about what you saw :slight_smile:
I can not sadly tell what it could mean… But someone who answered me here seem to have some answer, I think they described the meaning of the “dreams”.
I prefer mostly to go with my guts :slight_smile:

Today I fell again in sleep paralysie

I was in my bed, I asked ‘’ make me fall in sleep paralisy’’ and it happened. I didn’t stay in this state very long. I woke up.
I asked again, ‘‘please make me fall in sleep paralisy again, I will control myself’’ And it happened again.
Eyes close, I drawed the sigil of Lucifer on my eyelid.
I’ve got some sort of vision. I was still in sleep paralisy, but my eyes were close, and like in a dream, I saw things. I saw blood.

It may be his answer for what he want for a second offering when he will finish what I asked him.
I will try to ask him again.