Journal of my path to Naamah

Journals, Group Rituals & Free Readings
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A journal of how I found out Naamah wanted to work with me and has been around me for a long time

to document the journey and the small details that would otherwise be forgotten - details may miss until future edits - mainly for my experience - but anyone is welcome to read along or ask about Naamah/Lilith/Succubi

Beginning:

2012 a dream turned Lucid

I remember waking up, inside the dream, realizing that I was lucid, I walked to my bathroom and took a look in the mirror, I saw myself take shape and I was taking in the bizarre experience I saw a figure appearing behind me, I was shocked at first, it felt like a scene from a horror movie where you suddenly see a scary face but this was somehow less scary, I turned around to see who was in my dream and I saw a very beautiful young woman, slightly shorter than me, I felt immediate attraction and moved in to hug her, and I remember feeling so much love when we embraced, so much it made me wake up, feeling a mix of love frustration and sadness, having found “her” only to have her disappear as fast as she appeared.

Starting the Journey:

I started feeling a warm presence by my left side after that dream, and I started feeling something near my legs and crouch when I went to bed, it later developed into sensual/sexual stimulation

and I started looking into Succubi and researching it to find out what was going on

I started, very poorly to try to call out to Lilith as she was the “go-to” for succubi and I think she somehow accepted me but also somehow try to push me towards Naamah, without me knowing it at the time

The Lilith phase:

I started having Sleep paralysis and nightmares, but still had the amazing sensation of ecstasy when I felt her touch, I started to feel like it was a relationship and I started to prepare gifts and other things that you would do when working with demons, without really knowing what to do

I started to research more and more, mainly Lilith and that led me to Naamah and the various myths and stories and accounts of Succubi and the Queens of hell

I started to feel more and more compelled towards Naamah and started to interact with both Lilith,Naamah and my succubus that I thought I percieved I was in a relationship with, I did various things to try to communicate to get a name or too see if it was Lilith who was with me, the answers were all over,

I then started to focus more and more on Naamah and the full moon, I felt a pull somehow and perhaps it was the research as well

Giving in to Naamah -

The nightmares and sleep paralysis went away and when I felt the energy stimulation, when I went to bed at night or otherwise felt it happen and had to surrender to the bliss, I noticed a pattern, I felt the exact same way each time, like a sequence of stimulation and it was always very strong at full moon and when I focused on Naamah in particular

This went on for a while, until I got a new job and had no time besides work and to function, so I felt her less and less, and thought she had abandoned me, once in a while I felt a fraction of the bliss I once felt and got reminded of her, still in my heart somehow

the goodbye:

I started to long for a partner and started dating, dated for 3-4 years, but no success, always something wrong or something off, but always sweet and kind women though, well except one toxic fucker

and getting back together - present time:

So recently I thought, well fuck this, I don’t need to date, and Naamah popped into my head again, I started to focus more on her and felt the energy and bliss once more, it felt the exact same way as I remembered

I started making an altar and giving it an effort, more than I had before, and I feel her so strongly this time, I started to have the feeling of being in love and feel her warm energy all around me

I asked her “show me a sign, that it is you, that the feeling of being in love is real, that you are here with me”

the next day or day after, the first thing I saw when I opened a browser at work and checked the daily news was the headline “Horny and in love!” from a usually pretty bland news site, but I took this as a sign haha

when I lid the candles at the altar later that night and sat and thought of her, whispering to her, one of the candles freaked out, it was very erratic, growing in size and being jumpy, the other candle was completely still, this continued for the roughly 15 minutes I sat down at the altar just being with her, when I left the altar, moving a few meters away, the candle calmed down and was stable like the other candle beside it. no windows open, no doors open, no draft execpt my quite whisper (that was not directly as the candle) I took that as another sign of her presence

Today I was visiting my father, who I help out because he needs my help, and I found a stress ball in his garden, my father had no idea what it was, he had never seen it before

It had a big smile and hearths for eyes, like a cartoon character in love, I took that as a 3rd sign of her presence and her telling me “I love you, you idiot, stop doubting”

I feel that this time, my Journey with her will be more permanent and more focused towards her

not worship or sacrifice to get something, not a transaction but instead a declaration of love for her

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A short summary of findings: (gonna be very short at first, plan is to fill with info, prolly gonna be a mix of gnosis, since the whole topic is very tricky to document - so many myths and stories

Basic theory

Lilith = influence rises during waning moon and culminates at the night of new moon

Naamah = influence rises during waxing and climaxes at the 3 nights of full moon, before during, after - like the goddess symbol

Zohar theory - the 4 Queens/Brides:

Lilith - the new moon -

Eisheth Zenunim - the waxing moon

Naamah - The full moon

Agrat Bat Mahalath - The waning moon

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I’m currently researching her; I wrote a report for my first petition. Maybe you’ll find something helpful there.

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just a quick note to self

connection between sacred marriage/Union and Baphomet - need research

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after a relaxing morning and afternoon and spending some time at the altar with her warm presence to the left and center of me, I now feel a sort of vortex of both the warm humid energy and a cooler, soothing energy, feels quite nice - feeling a stillness inside almost, no feeling of arousal or any lust, just calm and relaxing, content, happy

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“The Dreamer & The Singer”

a big update

Made some tweaks to the altar, used some jasmine oil I bought for the occasion, made sure everything about her altar was kept pristine and in respectful order, while maintaining my personal touch on it.

still constantly feeling her presence, the warm and cool sensation on the left side of my face and my chest and lower body

sometimes smelling cinnamon and jasmine when I am at my pc, a bit away from the altar, it’s a very nice and comforting sensation

prepared a letter of acceptance to her, letting her know that she is always welcome (more detailed and with more exact wording to only grant Naamah permission)

it feels more like a formal ritual, to put words on a situation we have had for many years, but only now I have put full dedication into,I have the feeling of being in love, not just me, but also her, like an echo inside my energy and feelings, like our joint energy having butterflies in the stomach, feels really good

I made a version of her “official sigil” but made my own version of a more organic vision, placed them side by side on the altar last night, put the letter a good place to charge up for a ritual in the future, to make it proper

went to sleep, felt her warm embrace, nothing sexual or arousing - however that changed fast

I was woken up at 0, this time the energy had shifted, wild intense arousal, i was in sort of blissful frozen state as I felt the most amazing ecstasy Naamah had given me in a long time

after the peak I just felt bliss as I fell back to sleep, I was woken up multiple times, the arousal still lingered but I got the feeling I was let alone to rest under her comforting and warm presence

spent all day at work being happy and tired and having a hard time to focus, my mind always drifting to Naamah

Half drifting away staring at my screen, I was given some information, by her voice in my head, “The primordial”, “Tiamat”, “the singer”

I had to look it up, it seemed like a possible link between the primordial goddesses Tiamat, Naamah and Sophia and the title “The Singer”

I see the connection and similarities but have to make further research

the phrase “The Dreamer & The Singer” got stuck in my head - might be meaningfull

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