Journal of A Madman


#85

July 11th- Today was an interesting day. I had a girl try to friendzone me yesterday so I told her where to go lol. I’m a little bit sad about it but mostly dissapointed that she wasn’t who I thought she was. Anyhow, I was speeding and passed a cop and he merely looked at me and went the other way. EA’s protection veve works ladies and gentleman. Thank you Papa Legba! I met Agwe and he made it rain (it poured)! I also was shown some pretty crazy necromantic stuff by Baron Samedi. And he possessed me. So far I’ve met and worked with Papa Legba, Baron Samedi, Erzulie Freda, Gran Bwa, and Agwe (also the dead). It’s been very rewarding and my perceptions on magick and spirituality are being tested and pushed to the limits. It’s been transformative.


#86

NEVER seem “safe” to a woman - we may say that, but we really all want a psychopath who’ll kill anyone who threatens the babe we risk months of disability to carry, and risk our lives to give birth for.

NO man can understand the deep impact of pregnancy (the Alien Movies tried) and the risk, horror, pant-shitting (literally) and visceral terror of it. And this is coded into each and every one of us, from your pretty babes to Big Red memetic horror!

Vlad the Impaler would totally get the chicks these days, and “humble jesus meek and mild” - friendzone, forever. :sunglasses:

The women he likes would die as virgin as his mother (oh look, semitic neuroses - look to the Norse gods for masculine archetypes, and who gets all the ladies? :wink: )

Break out your spear, be dangerous, even if your personal dream Goddess is a woman who will whip you raw and piss in your mouth, you still HAVE to show her you’re deadly, before she’ll get remotely wet.

Go read that crappy “50 Shades” nonsense and see why the Friendzone happens.

We EVOLVED for this - women got stolen like booty, like property, women who couldn’t make it for real with antagonists and invaders, or raiders, died fast from rebellion or slow and horrible from urinary tract infections of being fucked against their will.

By now, we’re horrible people, but genius drivers of evolution, who can only love that which is stronger and more evil than us.

“Lady Eva saying this?!”

Check where I’m saying it. :wink:

And I WILL still whip your ass, inter-relationship dynamics are totally different, but do you seriously ever think a woman can love a nice guy?

Be evil. Be deadly.

Nothing else matters to us.

I shit you not, and the sisterhood will no doubt be really pissy at this claim… :tulip:


#87

Why did I love reading this so much?


#88

That’s what Melek Taus has been teaching me. But enough damage had been done and I came off as a puss. But you live and you learn I suppose.


#89

It’s been a long while since I’ve written here but I’m back. My friend took her life a few hours ago. I’ll spare the details as I can’t stomach looking at them. It feels like some sort of sick joke is being played on me and she is still alive. I was in the shower pinching myself to wake up but obviously I didn’t. I just miss her. I wish I could have talked to her one last time or given her a tarot reading one last time. I’m using this journal as a means to vent because most of my friends are asleep. RIP JKQ. I love you. And I’m sorry that I failed to tell you that.


#90

I give you my condolences.
Kherty.


#91

Sorry for your loss, Frater.


#92

So very sorry.


#93

Thank you all. I’ll probably be a lot more active on here now as I feel at home with you guys. I just miss her and being on here is better than replaying old voicemails non stop.


#94

Oh my dear @FraterMagni so sorry for your loss. Remember that she’s in a better place now


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#97

I’ll miss you for the rest of my life. I’ve been lucky not to lose anyone before you. I’ve never felt pain like this.


#98

#99

I knew a frater of the RHP who lost a close friend. It was revealed to him that Tom had found and stepped into the light.
I know it may not help much, but the point is, it will all be okay in the end … Know that she is by you and watching over you.
Of all friends and family I’ve lost over the years, some by age, some by disease, some by OD, some by their own hands … We will at some point in time be together … It sucks in the meantime, I know. Have faith and hope that you will see her again. Love to you, and light in extension.


#100

Thank you @Fuego. I will walk in her honor. But until the pain lessens, I’ll mourn and scream and howl and snot out of my nose lol


#101

You’ll have no judgment from me.


#102

The spirits bring comfort in the knowledge that she will be okay and that I will hear her voice and see her face again. My lovely friend both on the forum and in the mundane world both deserve credit for the amazing comfort they are bringing to me. I love you all from the bottom of my soul.


#103

Wow. It’s almost like everything that can happen that’s terrible, happens at once. I wish I could just astral project and stay there for a few years.


#104