Journal of A Madman


#43

Hun, one of those entities could have easily learned to feed off your negative emotions, what happens when one has given in to every temptation and acts on every impulse that one cant tell when they are being prompted by a third party hidden in the shadows entity, stop sharing your essence with these being’s, that’s what I learned anyway from my time as a Luciferian, they took and took, drained me to the point I had to feed off others energy.

Hope you feel better, you seem like a gentile soul x


#44

I feel fine. …that was in the past.


#45

K but learn to know which impulses are not your own, humanity is being targeted by outside force’s, they feed off negative emotions/energy , love and light x


#46

Humanity is being fed on by other humans. And the Abrahamic God.


#47

Wednesday April 26th- Not really sure how I feel now. Most of my friends are entering relationships and because of obligations to their SO’s and work schedules I don’t see them much. I’m really happy and I know that they deserve to be appreciated and wanted. I just wish their luck could rub off on me. I don’t know, maybe I’m just in an emotional mood as I write this. I’ve been working with the Norse gods as well as the demonic kings to improve the situation as well as bring me insight but as of yet only my mood and thoughts have changed (Thanks Buer!). I’m really trying to focus on other things but seeing all these couples is making that difficult. I’ve begun to workout and I’ve sworn off soda and sugary foods due to an embarrassing health scare.


#48

Here an interesting(?) note:

From the buddhistic flavoured esotertic people where i come from.
(book of light) they state: that the earth is just the body of an planetary angel,
and that thing called the people “Yaweh” -and he “perverted” as he was getting worshipped.

Just for curiosity:


#49

My personal experience Qliphothic work is very low vibrational energy work, the kind of energy that attracts doom and gloom emotions, they feed on negativity.

How can one be in good spirits if your using forces which thrive on pain and suffering, maybe you need a break .

A night out with some x or MDMA has brought me out of severe depression and after that night I threw my SSRI’s in the bin.


#50

That’s a good point about the doom and gloom, though I’d encourage people to view it a different way.
Imagine on one side you have a high frequency spiritual side and in the other you have a lower frequency lustful side.
I’d say this is much closer to what I’ve experienced in my magic. It’s just a matter of picking what combination of the two suits you. Like choosing between right and left wing politics.


#51

I’d advise against drugs like MDMA. Not great in the long run. You might want to look at the article I found on brain methylation.


#52

Qabalah and the Qlipoth aren’t my cup of tea. Same with most drugs. I just vape and drink occasionally.


#53

Same minus the qabalah and qliphoth


#54

After my own heart there coyote haha


#55

I work a lot with qliphothic energies so its part of my huge brew wether I want it or not


#57

Yes we have two sides to us, the dark shadow and the good light side, a dark guardian and a light guardian guiding us, key to everything in this plane of polarities and dualism is balance,also one mans poison is another’s elixir, all i am saying is if you feel out of sorts its because you could be out of balance, if synthetic drugs aren’t your cup of tea , Ayahuasca, weed, hash, mushrooms , truffle’s, DMT can be very healing, psychedelics have been proven to aid soldiers with PTSD, drug addiction, alcoholisms’, depression, nature supplies everything we need and plants are excellent teachers, setting’s and company are always important when taking these things though.

Inside of all of us is a wounded child,we should all be gentle with ourselves and, forgive ourselves, just be. Namaste


#58

I just think I have a mental illness and I had gotten lazy in my fight with it. I had also been working too bloody hard to please others. I would love to try ayahuasca or DMT one day though. It’s on my bucket list. But for now I’ll just deal with my depression through meditation and long walks through nature. It’s been working so far (Thanks Buer :wink: ).


#59

Sunday April 30th- Spent the weekend with friends and it was nice to take a little break from my stressful job and school. My friends wanted readings so I took the opportunity to break in my new tarot deck. One friend got all positive cards in his readings and he was really pumped. But my other friend drew some negative cards and she took it really hard but knew it was true. I felt kind of bad because I haven’t read for people in a while and this was my first time drawing negative cards for someone. I hiked again this weekend and found some really spectacular caves. This week will probably be more hectic than usual so I’m preparing for that but I’m sure it won’t kill me. Challenges can be really constructive for the individual as we on the left hand path know so well :wink:


#60

Wednesday May 3- Lately I’ve been surrounded by sychronities. Much more so than usual. It’s getting intense. I’ve been much happier and I’ve been working on my physical fitness. I’ve been reading lots and tearing it up at my job. I spend my free time meditating and using a golden aura meditation along with my third eye meditation (actually the method is EA’s). I’ve been seeing less resistance when I try to think positively and some new spirits are working with me. I think I’ve ascended to the next micro-level of my lifelong ascent.


#61

Yay the sky’s bright again :slight_smile:


#62

@FraterMagni

Hey, I’m dealing with raising my own kundalini right now and I was guided to a book on it by my spiritual companion. I immediately thought of you when I saw that depression can be a side effect of an energy blockage stopping the kundalini from rising.

Just something to consider and maybe investigate on your own. Hope it helps.


#63

I’m noticing improvements from my energy work. Are you seeing results with your kundalini?