For the past few days, I have been working with Father Lucifer in terms of music. As a hobby, I am a musician, and I asked Lucifer to assist me in becoming a better one. He gladly agreed.
He really seems to want to help me “blow up”, per say. I told him that I feel as though the current industry is too over-saturated with what I call “fast food” music; music that is created for nothing more than a money grab. There seems to be a lack of deep emotion in today’s music. Nothing really comes from the heart anymore…at least the mainstream stuff. There is nothing wrong with party music, but it has its limits, imo.
Either way, Lucifer said he’d help me with my singing skills. Before the track was made, he seemed to dislike the way that I sang. He said I was trying too hard to sing, and not trying hard enough to just be emotional. Because of this, it came out “robotic”, he says:
Me: (singing my take)
Lucifer: Stop… stop-stop-stop-stop-stop…
Me: That wasn’t good enough?
Lucifer: Not at all, boy. I know you can do better than that. Where is your emotion? You sound like you’re trying too hard.
Me: I mean… I can’t just fake an emotion. I’m not an actor…
Lucifer: Sure you can. You don’t need to be an actor to convey emotion. Singing is emotional, Lucius. You’re too busy focusing on your technique, and its killing your authenticity. You need to focus on how you feel.
Me: Well that’s the thing…I don’t really feel anything. I just sing to…sing. What’s wrong with that?
Lucifer: Everything. You can’t sing just to “sing”. You have to convey your emotions. Load up a blank project. We’re starting over.
Me: What? But I worked so hard on this one!
Lucifer: I know. But it makes no difference if you do not care about what you are singing. We’re starting from scratch.
Me: (sigh) Okay…
So I load a new project from scratch.
Lucifer: Now, Lucius. We are going to make something extremely depressing, alright?
Me: Why ‘depressing’? It can’t be happy?
Lucifer: No. Because you’ve felt depressed for most of your life, so that is the emotion that you are most familiar with, as negative as it may sound. You have it repressed inside of you, but it can be brought out any transferred into song. Now, what was the saddest point of your life?
I thought for a few seconds.
Me: Oh no… I’m not writing about that.
Lucifer: Oh, yes you are.
Me: Lucifer, I won’t be able to finish recording without crying.
Lucifer: Gooooood! That’s what we want! I want you to cry.
Me: You want me to cry?
Lucifer: Yes, because that means that you are emotional, and that is where the greatest songs are made.
Me: Well, I suppose you aren’t wrong. Alright.
Lucifer: Take out a pen.
With that, I started writing with Lucifer’s assistance beside me. We both came up with some pretty dark and depressing stuff, but he felt it was necessary to “dig down deep”. Needless to say, we came up with one of the most depressing songs I think I have ever made. And he loved it.
Me: Father, I can’t show this to people. This shit’s too depressing.
Lucifer: Caught you! “I can’t show this to people”. You’re repressing your emotions. That’s why you’re in the situation you’re in, because you’re afraid to express yourself. This song is a thousand times better than what I heard from you three hours ago, Lucius. It is okay to be sad. It is okay to be happy. It is okay to be lustful. It is okay to be angry. It is okay to be human. The sooner you understand that, the sooner you can move forward.
Me: Well, okay. What should I do with this song?
Lucifer: Post it. Everywhere.
Me: On all my platforms?
Lucifer: Yes. watch how many people will love it.
Me: I hope this isn’t a prank…
Lucifer: Not in the slightest. You have a great voice, if you’d just let it shine through all of the bullshit. Don’t believe me? Sing to a woman someday.
Me: I can’t do that.
Lucifer: Can’t even do that, hm? You’ve summoned seven demons so far, yet you don’t want people to hear your voice? Lucius, you’re ahead of 98% of the world, in terms of the knowledge you hold. Why…do you care what people think of you?
Me: I don’t know…I really don’t know. I’ve been like that ever since I was born. No matter how hard I try to make myself confident, it never works.
Lucifer: Well I tell you one thing, the porn surely wasn’t helping your situation. I’m glad you decided to quit.
Me: What could it be?
Lucifer: Lucius, you don’t feel as though you’ve achieved enough. That’s because you haven’t looked deep enough. But you’ve honestly achieved a lot. More than you realize.
Me: I honestly can’t think of anything besides good grades.
Lucifer: Well, let’s start with me. Do you have any idea how many people in the world are afraid of me? How many people tremble at my name? How many exorcists have tried to cast me out, knowing that it wasn’t even me in the first place? How many religions have demonized me? But you, you said “fuck that”. You told yourself, “I’m going to summon this man and look him dead in the eye”, and you did. That’s why i still work with you, because you went from being a scared Christian to summoning the adversary of your god in the same room with you. You told YHVH to go fuck himself, because he was not helping you improve your life, regardless of how many times you prayed and went to church. And then you turned to me, not knowing what to expect. That takes balls. You thought I could have killed you right there, and you still spoke to me. How many people do you know, personally, that have done this?
Lucifer: That’s right! Nobody. That’s not even the worst part. Lilith has an even worse reputation than I do. Yet, you still summoned her and went into the unknown. Now you call her “Mother” and have one of the strongest bonds I’ve ever seen.
Me: I mean… yeah I guess few people have done that.
Lucifer: Need me to keep going?
Me: You don’t have to-
Lucifer: You don’t believe me yet, so I will. Remember when you wrote that 51-page essay? It was the best in the school. Do you know how many hours of dedication it takes to write a 51-page essay? Especially on human nature? How much books you had to read prior? Who the Hell reads books anymore?
Me: Ha, well that was a pretty fun essay to write.
Lucifer: What about all of the knowledge you hold? How many books you’ve read? You know…that is the only reason you’re speaking to me right now, is because of all the knowledge you’ve accumulated thus far. All those sleepless nights, staying up late and researching, reading, and trying to understand, while everyone else was up partying and getting drunk. You’re quite the popular chap on your campus. Yet, you manage to not let that get in the way of the occult. I respect that.
Me: Well, yeah. Its importa-
Lucifer: Shall I keep going?
Me: You really don’t have to…
Lucifer: You’ve fucked spirit women. What the average joe would call, demon women. 11 so far. Lucius, do I need to say more than that? Why are you still an Earth-virgin!?
Me: Hahaha! Earth virgin…?
Lucifer: You could easily pull on this plane if you tried…
Me: But what about my financial situation?
Lucifer: Oh, lord… You’re 20! You’re still a baby! Give it time. Let us handle that!
Me: You’re right. I’m sorry. I keep forgetting how far I’ve come, compared to where I think I am now. I suppose few people come to this path, hm?
Lucifer: Too few. Everyone…and I mean everyone on this path, is strong, and should have the biggest sense of self-confidence in the world. These things take guts, Lucius. Yet you’re complaining over one song…if I was Lilith, you would have been slapped by now!
Me: Don’t tell her, please.
Lucifer: She already knows. She does that at times.
Me: Hm. Well, I suppose I could post it. I’ll do it right now.
Lucifer: Splendid! Do me a small favor while you’re at it?
Me: Of course. What is it?
Lucifer: Sit with yourself before bed, every day from now on, and just go over all that you’ve accomplished in life. Both the big things, all the way to the smallest things like waking up 10 minutes earlier. You do that, and perhaps we will never have this conversation again, alright?
Me: Sure. Thank you, Father.
Lucifer: Why do you call me that?
Me: What, “Father”?
Lucifer: Yes. I’m not your dad.
Me: Well, you were the first entity I worked with, and you’re like a father to me. All you’ve done is teach me…like a father. I look to you as a mentor and a spiritual parental figure, like Lilith.
Lucifer: Geez… I thought I’d let you slide at “bro”…
Me: Can I please call you Father? At least sometimes?
Lucifer: Fine…but if it moves to “daddy”, then we will have to part ways. I’m not that into you. (Laughter)
Me: Haha! No problem. Cheers!
He left after that. His conversation with me really made me think about my attitude about myself. I feel as though most people focus on all of their losses, no matter how small they are, rather then focusing on the achievements they’ve gotten. Like, you know when you post something online, and have all of this good feedback, and felt very good? Yet, someone posts that one ‘critical’ comment that ruins your whole mood? I get like that sometimes…And I know that’s a bad way of thinking. Thanks for reading!