Not looking for help or advice, just writing down my thoughts and experience.
I had this friend, I classed her as my best friend and she with me. We bonded so fast it was suspicious. She would always tell me about an ex friend she knew for five years, who was ‘toxic’ and ‘bullied’ her. She couldn’t stop talking about her. I was questioning if she fully got over her, despite what she was claiming. She would also have a run of messaging: ‘Are you mad at me?’ Claiming she was worried I would ‘dump’ her like everyone else did to her.
Fast forward to the beginning of the new year, this friend of mine began to get really weird. I got sick with a type of Tonsillitis I hadn’t experienced before. I grew distant, understandably so, but it seemed she was giving it back to me.
She was always second guessing my sickness, almost trying to hint that I was lying about it. She would make off hand comments about it, and finally stopped when I went on a voice call with her, to which I couldn’t speak and was continuously coughing.
Soon, she began to date someone from Omegle, long distance never met before. This is when she began to push me away. Though it was mild at first. Then, they broke up. She dated someone else. The pushing away became an issue, so I brought it up to her twice. She paid no attention until she felt personally attacked. They stayed together but broke up weeks later (An issue not relating to the incident). On her third boyfriend right now.
As soon as she started dating boyfriend no. 3, she messaged to tell me she had re-added her ‘toxic’, ‘bullying’ ex friend on Facebook, that she felt stupid but ‘is at her house rn.’ I had just been laid off from work at this time, so I told her I had to go off and sort out what I was going to do until I find employment again. (UK: Claiming benefits, looking for work, managing finances, etc). She instantly became cold.
It was at that moment that I realised I was probably a back-up for her, was using me most likely and only wanted me around when it was convenient to her: e.g. when nobody else was online.
So that was a bit of backstory. Last night I wrote a letter of Petition for her real life friendships to not develop further than they already have, and for relationships to be short term.
I woke up this morning to feel an extreme positivity, the room seemed brighter almost like the energy has shifted overnight.
I know I’ll probably get some flack for this. I’m not looking for our friendship back as I know that would be short term and pointless.
Basically putting it: If she is willing to treat me and others this way, she can take it.
