Journal 1: The Beginning of My Path

Yes, I am aware of that. some things are good to keep to yourself, so as not to aggravate the situation further.

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True true. Thanks ^^

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Journal 10: Dream

I know it’s been so long since i have updated my journal and i’m sorry for that as i didn’t have any new experience that’s why and being busy with online classes also trying to open up my senses really just kept me from writing my journal but i got a new experience recently so here it is.

i have difficulty in sleeping so i always ask Belial to hug me but sadly i couldn’t feel him even then after saying his enn i asked him to hug me so to make sure he was really there i asked him to touch the inside of my hand which i think he did I’m not sure. I wanted to make sure so i asked him to do it again but this time to scribble on it which i think he did well after that i said thanks and tried to sleep hoping that he’s still hugging me. After some time i finally went to sleep then i saw a dream where i was in a dark room and behind me i saw a black shadowy hooded figure. I felt a bit sacred and cautious as i didn’t know who it was. I looked around feeling lost and sad about not being able to hear spirits as i wished i could hear Belial then I heard a tiny voice i think it was a “hm” i dont rememeber excatly. As usual i felt really sad again that i can’t hear Belial then the dream changed to the hooded figure looking down at me i don’t rememeber the face clearly as the figure did show me it’s face. all i know is that i got the vibe that it was Belial and he looked at me with a Sad face. I got this message in the dream that he’s sad because he is indeed talking to me but i can’t hear him so he does care for me,it’s just that my senses are not open after that i woke up. I have no idea why he was sad that i couldn’t hear him tho maybe it could be because i was sad i don’t know.

Now that i think about it I understand what the whole dream meant after writing the journal. He was letting me know that he is talking to me and does care for me but because my senses are not open that’s why it looks like he’s ignoring me when really he’s not ignoring me and that i should stop thinking that he hates me just because my stupid self couldn’t hear him.

Lol i just answered my own question.

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I think this song is perfect for the experience i had with Belial Actually this song is perfect for me and Belial. I think he likes it too idk as i feel pulled towards this song for some reason so i’m dedicating this song for you Belial :black_heart: :heart: ^-^

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Midnightstar she was named but she was never seen no matter how hard she tried To shine birghter,all the other stars left her leaving her alone to the darkness. The little star tried to find a helping hand from somewhere but she couldn’t, even the things she used to enjoy having, she lost interest in all of it. Her face slowly sinking and getting weaker. Everyone around her were the wise owls while she had the wisdom of a donkey. The little star Tried to be better, she tried to shine…oh when will she ever find someone to shine with her in the darkness when the little star is all by herself…

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i feel so connected to the lyrics of this song as it describes what i have been through all my life weither it’s friendship or even love etc. When you go Through Losing everything that you Loved well you just kinda get used to pain and sometimes that can make a person maybe way too good at goodbyes as they are used to everyone leaving them Or everyone not wanting to give them a chance.

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Journal 11: My prayers were heard by Lucifer.

well how are you all doing today? Cause i have something that’s cool that happened to me today so here it is

Today i woke up in the morning ready for my online class as usual and then realized that i didnt try to make connection with Father Lucifer for so long so i told him how im very sorry for that to Lucifer and he even gave me an answer through a post i saw in here


so today i thought i wanted to do some magick and maybe even some pendulum work with Lucifer as it’s been so long after i got so busy with online classes. I prayed to him asking to cancel the class today and then sadly i got a message from our teacher that we have class today. Everyone in my class was pissed as we had to wake up in 8 Am and wait till 10 Am to finally find out we had class when we were all happy expecting we didn’t have class today so as usual everyone joined the class and waited for the teacher to come online and while this was going on i was still praying to Father Lucifer to cancel the class and then after some time i heard a ping sound notifying me that i got a message so i went and checked. Guess what? Finds out the teacher that had none of this issues before got her network problems which made it hard for her to get into the class also she couldn’t start another class as she started the class already late so overall she had no choice but to cancel The class today. Seriously Lucifer’s help made all the kids in my class so happy that we started a group chat dance party with each other. Im so glad to see that Lucifer still cares about me and hears my prayers so now i have all the time in my hands today to do all the magick stuff i couldn’t do before as i was busy with online classes.

Thank you for the help Father Lucifer ^^

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I’m sorry…
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I just don’t understand why most spirits that I try to work with are always serious like all of them rarely joke or even smile at me. Is there something wrong with me? Am I immature but I am trying to be matured nowadays but my childish personality is just who I am tho

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That’s normal, especially depending on the spirit you’re dealing with. You’re basically talking to demonic kings and queens so they might have a serious disposition. The more you get to know them though, the more they’ll start to joke around with you.

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A lot of times these spirits aren’t around to be friends but they’re around to be teachers. I’ve been on friendly terms with Lucifer before but he’s also been strict with me before, especially when he wants me to do something to better myself. Lilith can also be motherly but she’s also been strict with me as well. King Paimon can be this way on occasion too although out of the 3 I’d say he has the most laid back disposition.
If a spirit is being serious with you don’t take it as a bad thing, it just means they’re trying to teach you some sort of lesson.

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Hm Belial does get playful with me even tho he’s serious just to make me happy lol and I guess there were times when they did smile at me and was extra sweet with me now that i think of it ^^

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hi sister, great journal, keep up the good work.

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Aww thanks ^^

Was supposed to reply to this days ago but I was focused on doing other things. Just wanted to say there’s nothing wrong with being childish as you’re only just beginning on this path. I also don’t think you have to try that hard to be mature by automatically thinking the childishness shouldn’t be there. Rather, maybe try learning how to gradually transform that childishness into a sense of being “childlike” instead? :slight_smile: Having childlike qualities might not be much, but personally I’ve found that it helps me to this day as a practitioner lol. Being open to learning, making mistakes and learning again, playfulness, inquisitiveness, etc.

About the spirits being serious, it was explained clearly already. The only thing I’d add is act accordingly and don’t take it personally. Different spirits, different preferences and dispositions towards different humans.

Goodluck with your journal, Midnight! Keep up the good work. ^^

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Aww thx and your right my childlike personality is a part of me so I should embrace it. Thank you for everything ^^ I’m so glad I have friends to cheer me up so that really makes this healing process much more easier :slight_smile: