Few tips because I am on the run for now:
- Find another place for your free meal. Avoiding confrontation does not mean you are losing anything, sometimes you must take in consideration the efficiency of your approach.
The last thing you need is a criminal record, because remember: confronting large groups of people is not as dangerous as having your word challenged by their majority.
I can personally take on groups of people thanks to my training and what I fear is not being flanked, or getting shanked in the process in what I thought it would be just a fist-fight, but actually having them report me to the police in group. Their numbers work against mine in terms of testimony.
- People suffering from any kind of addiction and those recovering from an illness tend to also suffer from astral parasites. Most of these parasites are of no consequence and have a sentience not bigger than a worm or bacteria.
The real problem is those parasites that have enough sentience to communicate with you through dreams or (as you have stated being an empath) through your emotions.
These parasites are the kind of assholes who show up on oui-ja boards and give scary messages or claim to be Satan themselves. These same parasites might trick you into feeling some other, superior power is angry or after you because they either feed off feelings of helplessness or these help them lower your defenses.
This parasites by the way also turn people against you because it is a surefire method in keeping you down. I’ve seen it and experienced it while wearing the sign of the Goetic spirit Ipos, whose bad temper and suffer-not-fools policy turns people against each other.
Means of getting them off you? Well, salted baths, salted water ritual, and flushing yourself with purifying energy. I suggest you walk into some church and put your hand into the bautismal fountain and utter something along the lines of “the bad spirits are now trapped in this water” or some shit.
The salted water ritual I’ve heard about is getting a glass of salted water, placing a plate over it, and turning it around while you hold both ends. Then uttering some prayer of sorts you command the spirits into the water, and subsequently dispose of it.
- The secret of ridding yourself of parasites and possessing spirits is being willing. I know it sounds stupid, and that YOU WANT THEM OUT, but the bastards cling to you and make you feel as if you’re either unable or some sort of subconscious feeling of “maybe when they get out I’ll lose something on the way”.
That feeling is fake. You will feel as empty or lacking a part of yourself, but that is because you’ve expelled them from the space they were occupying in you. Just like, pardon the language, taking a dump after a heavy meal.
You will probably feel some sort of fear when doing the exorcism as if you are sure that concluding it fully might harm you. Do not fear and go through it. It is their fear, not yours, you magnificent living god.
- After that, do simple sigil magick and insist on it. Sigils must be piled upon, there is no law regarding “spam”! A friend of mine was so pissed that his school was bought off by Jesuites and that would be going catholic reformation that I told him to sigilize every day, every moment he could.
Hell, know what he did? He stamped a sigil under every desk, every wardrobe, every mat, behind every blackboard, above walkways and doorways, in every window (albeit hidden from sight), in EVERY GOD DAMN TEXT BOOK HE COULD FIND ALONG THE WAY…
Well, guess what? In TWO WEEKS TIME, they completely stopped asking students to pray before every recess or forcefully assit mass. They dropped the idea of forcing every student to attend Bible study. I am not joking. Priest stopped going to mass altogether because “no one is assisting anyway”.
THE WORLD IS YOUR FORUM, AND IT IS YOURS FOR THE SPAMMING.
Just think of this: Imagine covering every inch of your forearm’s skin with sigils. You know what I am saying, not making a desgin that covers it, no, I mean doing one sigil with all the intent of your soul, letting it sit, and then do another.
A WHOLE FUCKING CHAIN MAILLE OF SIGILS.
Why not? Who the fuck am I to tell you not to do? Who the fuck is anyone to tell you not to? When you embraced the Left Hand Path you did not being a journey to become a god. You chose to REMEMBER HOW IT IS to be a god.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. They reek of insecurity, you need results, not opinions.
- Do not bother now with astral travel and evocation and what not. There are more serious matters at hand to solve first, and I am saying this because what you’re trying to do now is basically play tennis with a knee shot up to shit.
You would not blame a man whose been recently stabbed for his inability to play chess with you, right? Well?
You are being too hard on yourself bro. You are deliberately choosing to fight with one hand tied to your back without even knowing. An addiction is a bitch to solve, much more when homeless.
In truth, I say you with your drive will surely find results and communication with spirits in a year, once stuff is cleared out of your way. Choosing to do it now would be simply too difficult, and there is no one to blame, not even you. It’s just beyond anybody’s scope.
Remember that I am not saying you are not prepared (who the fuck am I to doubt you? What gives me that authority, huh?) All I am saying is that it would be hard for anyone.
- I also had very bad problems evoking entities and whatever I used to call upon was very hostile to me, even entities who almost every magician would say they are peaceful and agreeable.
I did not know the cause, and I had given up, but then through a dream a series of spirits came to me and ever since we have a good relationship.
… except the most trusted one who recently tried to possess me saying it’s good for me and what not. Was it a test? Do I give this spirit a hardon? Dunno, but I understood this being a tricky thing at times.
You need to eventually find spirits who are keen on establishing a relationship with you, but as I said before, you need first to solve other problems and then look on this. Just because it’s too much pressure to do it otherwise!
- I am sure Raphael would work fine with you. Chose a moment of the day in which to call him using his sigil and talking into it like it’s some sort of hotline for him. Do it every day for 9 days, even if you start feeling good already, asking of him to heal you from your addiction.
People report good results. I do not know because I got a bad relation with him (I vaguely remember breaking his seal as punishment, yeah, “ballsy” me).
- I’ll post more when I’ve got the time. I wish you the best, living god. Be strong because you cannot be less.