i posted recently that i woke up in life a little. im starting to realize the dream im in. im at a mid point of knowing the truth and completely waking up, and down to earth. im scared to wake up. this life i built,the people around me and everything going on. the insanity is almost comfortable. im starting to ask questions and im afraid im going to get answers. the most im able to do is accept it. but im not sure what path that will lead to. i just. dont know. i dont know if i want to. i think there is no attainable advise for my situation. im just starting to lose emotion. its one big dream. i hope this doesn’t lead to my end. im too aware. is this why magic works? because its all one big dream? One elaborate way to enjoy a simulation. idk if im even looking through my own eyes. i guess magic is like a complex cheat mode. and the npc are just casual players.
i know im ranting a lot but, its just whats on my mind. and its not a fun experience. ive heard of this effect with drugs. but im not using drugs. my mind is doing it. you guys will probably see me insane from now on. my perspective is completely different.
im thinking beyond my own mind.