Its time for me to talk. im waking up

i posted recently that i woke up in life a little. im starting to realize the dream im in. im at a mid point of knowing the truth and completely waking up, and down to earth. im scared to wake up. this life i built,the people around me and everything going on. the insanity is almost comfortable. im starting to ask questions and im afraid im going to get answers. the most im able to do is accept it. but im not sure what path that will lead to. i just. dont know. i dont know if i want to. i think there is no attainable advise for my situation. im just starting to lose emotion. its one big dream. i hope this doesn’t lead to my end. im too aware. is this why magic works? because its all one big dream? One elaborate way to enjoy a simulation. idk if im even looking through my own eyes. i guess magic is like a complex cheat mode. and the npc are just casual players.

i know im ranting a lot but, its just whats on my mind. and its not a fun experience. ive heard of this effect with drugs. but im not using drugs. my mind is doing it. you guys will probably see me insane from now on. my perspective is completely different.

im thinking beyond my own mind.

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I can’t help you with this, but I can relate 100% to what you’re experiencing. I know exactly what you’re going through and what you fear.

There has to be a reason for all of this…

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better be a good one. the only current entity im working with is belial. but i dont think hes involved

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Ask him, you never know. Just evoke and ask him if he has anything to do with is. Even if he doesn’t, he may be able to offer some valuable advice.

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thats the other thing. i have no privacy. ill figure something out.

but even with that said my evoking skill is limited. and i have to build up the will to do the evo.

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i just talked to belial. i took a shower and laid down. i chanted his enn as the warm water rushed over me. after a while i was following a yellow orb in a leafless forest of dark oak.they all had faces. the orb was humming like it was talking. i could only make out “come, this way”. i followed the orb up a tower. after going up i found a ledge with a noose hinging off of it. i jumped and grabbed it. i was about to fall so i put my wrist in the noose. i was stuck. below me was a huge drop to the bottom of a ravine. couldn’t even see the bottom. after that i said belial, did you make me this aware? if not do you have any advise? i soon heard a voice say “am i the one who told you to climb this tower”? i said no. “you decided to climb this tower alone” he said. “to answer you question, just look at where you are”. “dangling off the side of a cliff with your wrist stuck.” i soon found out what he meant by that. im stuck in between two places, the dark pit of this world and the goal i aimed for. he then said “how are you going to get unstuck”? “that is my advise.”

i know what he means. how do i get out of the trap. the trap that lead others to their death.
i think he means literally how would i get my wrist unstuck. and thats my answer.

ok i solved it. but if anyone wants to find another meaning within the words go ahead.

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You chose the path you walk upon.Belials work is to show you the way. Leap headlong into the darkness and find your light

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I recently woke

So in other words – the tower and the hanged man.

Sudden, unexpected upheaval and change.
Abandoning the truths we have known and held dear.
A sacrifice one must make in order to move forward.
A time of reflection and contemplation.
Time to replace the foundations.

More seriously: I don’t mean to make light of your plight at all. Remember, time is the one thing we have plenty of. Choosing to do nothing and waiting for things to settle is a choice in and of itself. The immediate is not the permanent. Give yourself time to adjust and the path forward will make itself clear.

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How did I not think of tarot lol. That works well with it.

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