I don’t know if I am doing shadow work. But it is my intent. So I know that shadow work involves confronting things that happened to you, things that pissed you off in your past, or whatever. There are times when I am alone in my own apartment. I relive certain things that happened to me. And I feel like I just wanna break something, or I visualize myself reliving that situation again and practically man slaughtering the person who is playing mind games with me, arguing with me or whatever. And that was even before I paid attention to black magick. So after learning about shadow work, I look at that those odd incidents with my old buddy Nick always arguing with me. Every time I try to respond to something he said, he’d raise his voice over mine. Not letting me speak. Or he’d be interrupting me when I was in the middle of a sentence. And I remember feeling like I just wanted to break something. So I relive that time now. I visualize myself going through that again. And I would shout at the top of my lungs as if Nick was still in front of me now. But then I try to feel the part of my body that is tense. Usually around my abdominal area, eyebrow area, or the crown of my head. And I try to focus on that feeling. I try to breathe into it. And I try to visualize myself embracing it. Like I’m merging with it. I also try to visualize myself as a light being looking back to my past self and tell my past self what I realize about my old buddy Nick now. Telling my past self to tell the idiot to leave my apartment and never come back. I visualize myself telling my younger self that it’s not necessarily about the topic we argued about. It’s only you he disrespects. And he wouldn’t put up an argument with just anyone who feels the way I do about the topic we argued about. I visualize myself telling my younger self, while visualizing my younger self as a dark shadow what it is I feel my younger self needs to know.
That is only one example.
Another example.I remember times in my life when I was lonely. No friends. A couple days ago those memories came back to me. I had this instrumental solo from an 80’s song that you’d hear in Cobra Kai season 3 episode 10 running through my head (awesome show by the way). And I’d wake up one morning having that 80’s instrumental solo stuck in my head. While remembering odd lonely times that I had as well as when my father passed. As well as wondering what my future would be like if I ever lost my job. And remembering that there is a thing called “shadow work”, I’d remember whatever negative feeling I’d have in certain parts of my body as a part of my depression was something I’d try to visualize myself embracing. I’d breathe into it. I’d visualize myself hugging and embracing the negativity. And I’d visualize myself telling my younger self odd things which I realize to be true now. I’d also be telling my younger self that the answers I still don’t have will eventually come at some point.
I don’t know if I’m even explaining this properly. But I’m doing my best. So maybe what I was trying to do wasn’t shadow work the way I think it is. I don’t know. I’m still a little confused about how to do shadow work. If any of you have any thoughts I’d appreciate it.
