Browsing around, I figured I would offer my experiences for you to consider. I have also struggled to determine if this is all real or imagination from time to time, so I can relate to your original position on the topic. It does seem that your position has changed a bit since your original post, so I don’t know where your mind or experiences are at. I am keeping that in mind that you may already know most of this! Also, I am in no means an expert in any of this and just a guy who has had a few experiences to offer. Ok, here we go with the few tips I can think of to hopefully help:
*Mental State - What a lot of people have said is true about your mental state needing to be in just the right place to get the magic to work. It took me forever to understand this one, as I like details and most of what people could give me was vague steps that were not overly helpful. I understand it best by comparing the state to how an athlete or musician describes what is it like for them when say they get in the zone. It is a particular mental arena where you are focused, not thinking about anything besides just doing the task, and they don’t worry about anything while doing the task. Same situation as when you get injured while really focused and don’t realize how much you are hurt until you return to a normal mental state.
*Lusting for Results - This concept is a bit confusing to think around, but essentially if you focus on a result positive or negative too much then it can impact the results by either making nothing happen, lessen them, or in some cases make it happen faster. I believe you mentioned you looked into the gallery of magick works, and they have a good description of this technique. Essentially, do the magic, expect that you were heard and the result is coming, and go back to your regular day. I like to think of the process in a practical way like ordering online from a place like Amazon. You figure out what you want (in this case an item), identify what can get you what you want (a lovely steak knife to cut up and eat meaty goodness), identify the magic process needed (find the price, condition, and delivery for the knife), work the magic by following the process (buy it, select shipping details etc.), and then let go knowing that your item is coming to you and don’t think or worry about it. After that, you just need to pay attention to see when the result happens (the delivery date). Magic seems to be more subtle than this example as the result is more of a known, but the main point is you trust the system to give you what you want, don’t worry about the details of how it gets to you, but pay attention so you know when it arrives.
*Blocks - Ok this one is going to be long. Blocks are common, and often we don’t realize that we have them and what we are doing to ourselves. You mentioned that you think the creator has said no to your contact, but I don’t really think so. The whole component of free will is just that…free. It isn’t conditional on you can be free but only when you are not doing this or that, etc. I know a lot of Judeo-Christian history and teachings is focused around that concept, but remember that people have a tendency to attach a lot of their own baggage to topics important to them. Especially in history. Humans can only relate and interpret what they can understand, and humans have written these papers/scrolls/books. It could be channeled information, but the information is still coming via a filter which is the person writing. Now the Jewish records might be more consistent with the lack of translations, but even some of the methods of behavior are similar to other cultures and ideas. From my understanding, what the creative force is (God, Great Sprit, An, Gaia, etc.) as a being is something that really none of us are able to comprehend. We try to do so, attach our labels and a few basic descriptions, but it goes far beyond anything our minds can process. Look into near death stories and you will start to see this phenomenon at work. People sometimes can’t describe their experience because there are no words to do so to relate what happened.
When you are looking at blocks, you have to really look at everything in your life as a potential source that impacted you in some way. It is too easy to say well that didn’t work, the higher power must say otherwise. That is giving to much responsibility to the creative energy which is the opposite of what it really gives to people. You need to look into your past thoughts and actions, feelings, and things people have said that may be stuck in there. Were you scared by something or what someone said as a kid? Did you have a negative experience that at the time you didn’t want again? Did your parents or community have a specific view they passed to you? Then go further, were you brought up to believe that the creator is a harsh punisher if you disobey? If so look and see what fear is there? Are you thinking deep down that you know working with demons is wrong (even though you are called to experience one) therefore your mind refuses to see anything that would make that statement true?
The subconscious part and its relation to the conscious mind is a bitch and controls what we perceive. The mind’s selective filtering capacity is not to be underestimated, and we only pay attention to a tiny fraction of the information we receive every second. Concepts like NLP (neuro linguistic programming) exist because people think that the subconscious mind is programmed by experiences, so we should be able to reprogram them. Magic is a big factor that is influenced by culture and society and what we think and experience. I imagine a lot of people are like me and the topic was taboo for the longest time, and it took awhile to break down those barriers to actually start getting results.
I will give you an example on how blocks work from my own life. Over the years, I have had a ton of trouble with getting mystical stuff working, and when I would start to think that I was getting success and results, things would to almost reverse and the opposite would happen or nothing happens. This led to frustration that what I was doing was a load of crap and I would quit. This happened a lot, but sometimes something would happen like a streetlight would go out every time I walked under it not paying attention and just being with friends enough times to get my attention again. I had vague memories as a kid of weird stuff happening, but nothing that would really freak me out. Yet, I couldn’t shake the weird stuff that would happen, and I just knew that as a kid I did remember having strange occurrences happen all the time.
Lets fast forward 30 years to about a year or so ago, I was playing around with channeling and doing everything I could to connect to a higher sprit. In this instance, I was focused on Athena and Zeus of the Greek pantheon as I have always loved those stories. For the channeling advice, I read about an exercise where you channel your higher self to ask yourself questions if you run into trouble. Well, I wasn’t getting reliable information that I believed I should be (same thing as I always do) from these external entities, so I gave it a shot. I emptied the mind, focused on talking to me but not me, and I asked myself the question of what is blocking me and why isn’t this working over and over with pauses between. After a few tries, I got the word “fear” and I just knew when I heard it that it was my fear.
This surprised the hell out of me, as this is not what I was expecting in the back of my mind. I didn’t think I was afraid of anything enough to be blocking myself. This might be no surprise, but I also thought that I was being blocked by an external negative entity that wanted to keep me controlled. When I dived further into what fear meant, I came across a memory of where I was sitting on the living room floor (maybe 6 or 7), and I was playing with Legos. My dad was passed out on the living room floor, and I remembered looking over and wanting to help him. The palms of my hands slowly became burning hot and I remember trying to push my palms together because they were feeling weird. I couldn’t do it because it felt like I was pushing against a physical object between them. I tried a few times, and when I still couldn’t do it, I freaked out and ran into another room thinking my hands are broken. As that fear took hold, the burning stopped and my hands were normal again. No issues pushing them together, so I calmed down and went back to playing.
That experience is but one that has impacted this type of work all of my life, and once I went back into that memory and experienced it and accepted it, I started to see more results. This is probably a more extreme example of a block, but I like this one because it shows just how far back in our lives we will need to look to make changes for today.
*Results can be Subtle - I will end this by saying you will need to really pay attention and ask the entities you are working with to help you by providing confirmations that they heard you. Now you will need to try to remain aware, but when you make contact they will do something for you if you really need it and it is impacting your desire to keep going. I have noticed that they will stop once you know better and don’t need any other convincing because inside you know already until the situation changes again.
If it helps, also begin collecting evidence like a scientist and looking at indirect signs of your work especially when evocating because they do show up. Here is an example related to your desired contact with a demon to illustrate this. I was using the Demons of Magick book from the gallery to try and evocate the demon Valac because I wanted help with money because I have debt up to the eyeballs taking care of a disabled spouse. The need was there, but I was nervous and had a bit of fear working with demons due to all of the horror movies I watched in my life. But, I worked myself up to it and did it on a bright and sunny morning because it made me more at ease.
I went through the steps beforehand of using the 3 phrases to increase your sensitivity for the demon energy, I followed the ritual, closed it out, and nothing happened. No sensory input or feelings happened, no demon showed up I could feel or sense, and I did not seem to get any results. Except for 1 thing. And funny enough, this point proved to me that I did actually get the demon there and it was completely unrelated to the entire ritual. I was sitting in a recliner doing the ritual, and my little dog was asleep in front of it. When I called that demon into the room, she woke up and stared straight ahead at the exact spot where I wanted the demon to be standing. She didn’t move, she just stared at it the whole time the same way she would watch something like an animal she was unsure of. This dog did not waver her gaze or move the entire time until I ended the ritual and asked the demon to go. Only then did that dog go back to sleep which is bizarre behavior for the dog inside who never did anything like that before.
Apologies that this is so long, but I am hoping the extra detail helps either you or someone else that may be struggling. Have Fun Magicking!
