Be a rock for your loved ones, a light for strangers, and a nightmare for your enemies. Boundaries are key though.
That’s a sure fire way to get stepped on and exploited at every turn. Treat other how best suits you, or at least in a way that doesn’t fuck you over: people spot weakness in each other and, whether it be actively or passively, they exploit it.
You can do something nice, but only because it benefits you. You can appear to be altruistic, but only because it furthers your cause. You can appear to be kind, but only because it will lower someone’s guard.
The trick is to view it less in terms of nice and cruel and more in terms of what looks after No. 1, so to speak; good social standing, career success and the ability to manipulate those around you. If you’re around the right people, being self serving is also kind.
Yes if you’re too nice it’s equivalent to expecting the world to fair to you because you was to it. Ultimate self-defeatist mindset.
Hiya OP! There’s such a thing as being a doormat that fate and people can do to you, and it’s an energetic threshold where your self-concern disappears entirely and your internal boundaries begin breaking down. The threshold of doormatitude varies for each person, but if left untreated can lead to total loss of self, or the manifestation of critical, crippling conditions. Everyone has to be assertive sometimes, it’s evolution! Those that don’t assert their base existences are prone to lose them.
Put a price to your actions on others’ behalf.
Every kind person should draw up a budget and learn to negotiate.
Trade for value, never give it away without getting equal in return.
Anyone who complains about a value trade planned to use you. Get them out of your life as fast as you can.
In your quest to be kind, be kind to yourself first. You are your virtue’s greatest endorsement.