i’m having a breakdown and i need somebody right now.
I’m here, what’s going on?
my ex broke up with me in september because of my negativity and depression but he said he loved me and was going to wait for me to get myself together despite knowing it could take some time. well now it’s almost january and he’s saying he can’t deal with me being sad and negative all the time even though he knows i’m moving out this week to get away from my hostile environment and he knows i’m doing therapy. he’s basically saying he’s giving up…
Sounds like he’s part of the hostile env. You deserve someone who sees you not your condition.
@Maulbeere beat me to it. Also, I’d recommend looking at this like a chance for a fresh start.
it’s not just him. my family…my friends… my family cut me off. one of my closest friends said i should kill myself because i’m a lost cause…
everyone i cared about…
“Hell is other people”.
Nothing wrong with getting away from all that and making the space for people on your wavelength to come into your life.
As I said, use all this as a chance to start fresh. Cast away all that holds you back from being your true self.
I understand that its hard for you and If youve had him as a fixed point then it gets even harder to hear that from him.
He may honestly have meant that he would wait for you to get better but perhaps he couldnt manage it.
Aint it a saying ”the road to hell id lines with good intention”.
I feel for you i really do but the only advice i can give is something that sounds like a cliche but its something i believe in with all my heart. You cant base your happines on another person not even someone you love, you must love yourself and be at peace with yourself, that way you may allways be happy and another person will add to that but you wont depend on that one.
Now again all this doesnt make your ex s bad person unless he have other things going, but as i said he may not gave Bern as patient and strong as he thought he was.
You don’t need this crap.
And it doesn’t sound like you can change their minds about you - which means as you get better they’ll be dragging you back down.
Me, I’d metaphorically ball up the whole mess, toss it overhand into the trash and look forward to starting fresh with a clean slate.
Toxic people can’t help being toxic and usually don’t think they’re in the wrong. My family is like this. They can’t help it, they don’t know any better. Doesn’t mean I need to put up with the stress from them. I went no contact with mine this time last year, wish I’d done it years ago.
i want to. but it’s hard to leave my caregivers. they may try to stop me or they’ll talk bad about me.
well Justen said he’ll still talk to me and hang out with me.
Move far enough away that they can’t fuck with you then.
“Slowly, slowly catchy monkey.”
(I’m full of proverbs today.) I recommend making a plan and working towards it’s goals carefully and methodically, and they can’t stop you. This is you designing and creating your own life. It’s you being sovereign and in control, and in itself can help keep the depression away.
for now i can only move like 10 minutes away but they don’t know that.
If they don’t know it what’s to stop you? What are the consequences of moving further?
I wanted to leave home when I was 14. I waited until I was college age to best take advantage of opportunities. I counted down the months and days and planned. I drew a 150 mile circle around my mum’s house and chose only colleges further than that so I would have an excuse to not attend as a local and not drive home often. That was the start.
But every time they were horrible, I could remember the plan, and know I knew something they didn’t - I was already free, it was just a matter of time.
After that, it became a game to play the part to mitigate the damage. Pretend to be what they wanted to see. I like an easy life, and I play a long game.
that’s a nice way of thinking about it. my conscience is saying it’s wrong to just up and leave without saying goodbye or at least explain why i’m leaving.