June 9th, 2019
My hands smell like a mix of Siete Machos & Florida Water, from the ritual I just did. 
I finally baptised my Santisima Muerte statue. I can see her in it, already. 
Did some other blessings, as well. I can feel the love & good energy around me. 
I apologized to My Lady for not visiting her for awhile. She had become a bit angry with me & then life got in the way. I explained to her that it wasn’t her, it was me & then she was relieved & happy, again. Poor Dear. I must not neglect her so.
I’m not sure what’s going on with Tony (if that’s who he is). I didn’t come up with the physical test/proof thing, he’s the one who suggested it & then didn’t do it. (However, he was getting a bit negative/angry before that, so perhaps Santa Muerte or someone else kept him away from me? Idk.) Something seems to have been going on, lately. I’ve been trying to figure out what.
Going back over the “signs” I’ve experienced, here’s how I feel now.
- I don’t think the cell phone call I got while standing on the grave was a sign, but just a coincidence. (And, yes, I know standing on a grave is disrespectful, but I needed to for a moment & I apologized.)
- I do believe the “Thanks a lot, kid” message in Joe Pesci’s voice was spirit contact by Tony (or the very least, his brother). I really wasn’t expecting it & it just popped into my head & I don’t think it was wishful thinking. It could be, but I don’t think it was, at this time. I think his voice just came through as Joe Pesci’s because that is who I think of him as, even more than himself, because of the movie Casino. I’ve never heard his real voice, so my brain used that to interpret the message. When I hear Santa Muerte & many other spirits in my mind (unless they were people I knew in life), it’s usually my internal voice speaking their words (or at least a mix of mine & another’s.) I do wonder about that, but I don’t think it’s that uncommon. It does make it harder to know if the contact is legit, though. (More on this later.)
- I still believe the song on the radio was a sign, but I’m not as inclined to believe it as the Joe Pesci voice or the ant. It could go either way, but I do feel it was a sign.
- The tiny ant on my arm mere moments after wondering whether I did make contact with Tony or not. I totally think this was a sign, lol. Alright, for those that don’t know, Anthony Spilotro’s mob nickname was "The Ant." I cleaned my room top to bottom & there were no other ants or any other bugs or anything. I didn’t think there would be.
- “The mob” wording in my Tarot book. I do think this was a sign. I understand how easily it could be coincidence, but the wording of the specific sentences is way too fricken accurate in relating to Tony’s life, ok? “The mob has metaphorically hung the Seeker because they do not approve of the Seeker’s beliefs or what the Seeker has done.” Anthony Spilotro decided he was going to do things in Vegas his way & stopped asking for approval from back home. I mean, watch the movie Casino, yo. It’s not 100% accurate, but pretty close. I read this in Michael Spilotro’s Wikipedia article: “The two brothers had been severely beaten, strangled, and then buried in shallow graves. Dr. John Pless, a forensic pathologist who helped conduct the autopsies on Michael and Anthony, stated, 'Michael Spilotro’s Adam’s apple was fractured, his nose was broken and kidney was torn.'” Strangling, to the point of breaking the Adam’s apple? Pretty close to hanging. And if they used something to do it other than their hands (like a garrote), then even moreso. “It’s the Seeker, not the mob, who is in the right” & “although the mob has hung the Seeker and condemned him.” That shit is just too spot on for me. I can’t shake it as a sign. (Other parts of the Tarot reading, too – specifically the 1st & 5th cards.)
- The Joe Pesci crossword answer was funny, but I feel that may be more coincidence than a sign. It was funny I saw it when I did, though.
So, I feel like there is some sort of spirit activity here. Whether they are who they claim they are, is a different matter.
I don’t have any “ghost hunting” stuff, so I downloaded @PrinceX’s “EVP Finder Spirit Box” app for my cell phone & I tried it out. I recorded 2 sessions & I may have gotten some responses, but it’s too hard to tell for sure. I imported the files into my iTunes & tried to use the equalizer to make the static lower & the voices louder, but not with much success. There are also some very fast sounds that may be voices, but I don’t have anything I can use to slow them down with. I need to find some free audio manipulation software. If anyone knows of any that can slow a recording down, please let me know!
Ok, I don’t want to post the actual audio files here because I think that would take up too much bandwidth on the site. So I’m going to listen to them again & write down what I can hear.
1st EVP: I spoke out loud to tell any spirits around what I was doing. I explained what the device I was using was & how it worked. Then I asked if anyone was here. I heard a female saying quite a bit in a concerned tone of voice, but I didn’t recognize the voice (i.e. not my grandma) & could not make out what she was saying.
Then I heard a male voice. It sounded like he might’ve said, “Are you alone?” or “Are you lonely?” I’ve been thinking this voice is “Tony.” It is a good bit clearer than the woman’s voice. I can make out words, but am not 100% if they are correct. But I can only make out emotional tone for the woman, most of the time. I rarely hear a snippet of a word from her somewhat clearly. I asked how many spirits are in the room with me now & in person, I thought I might have heard the word “four,” two different times. I tried to get the other two spirits to speak, but I don’t think they did. Unless that fast noise is one (it will happen right after I ask a question). But I think at least one spirit remained silent, if indeed there were 4 in my room at that time. Listening to the recording several times, though, it kinda sounds like, “a hundred” or “hundreds” a few times – which I don’t believe. I was surprised there were supposed to be as many as four, lol!
I asked the man if he could say his name & it kinda sounds like he says, “Yeah” & then after a bit “Tony.” These are less clear than the “are you alone,” though, but it is the same voice. And something not-quite-human sounding sounds like it says, “FUCK!” in a frustrated tone, right after that. Idk what that’s all about. I asked the others for their names & I thought I heard the woman say “Claire.” I don’t know anyone by that name. But it may have been part of a longer word she was saying, Idk. I couldn’t make out any words (besides the “FUCK!”) from any other spirits.
2nd EVP: I asked the male to say his name, again, but to take a longer amount of time to say it. A different voice (female?) sounded like it said, “Tony,” like it was talking to him, but I’m not 100% on that. It was less clear than when the male said “Tony.” I asked, “What do you want from me, Tony?” I waited quite a bit & then I heard the “Tony voice” say, as if just tuned in during mid rant, “I swear, my real first name.” That caught my attention. It sounded like he had talking beforehand & was going to continue talking, but only that part came through decently clear. It sounded like he was frustrated or angry or something. I put my finger over my cell phone’s speaker to try to lower the volume of the static & I heard very clearly, the Tony voice say, “What are ya doin?” I had to laugh, cause that was the clearest I’d heard anyone & then I explained. I asked again, “What do you want from me, Tony?” and I just barely heard a voice (not sure if it was the Tony voice) say something that kinda sounded like, “a friend.” That… that got me emotional. And it’s also a reason I’m inclined to think this may be audio pareidolia, because I’m the one who wants friends. So this was saying what I wanted to hear, basically. 
I was so shocked at what kinda-sorta-mighta sounded like “a friend,” that I asked “a friend?! Is that what you said?” with a surprised voice. There was silence for a long time. Maybe a minute. I said he didn’t have to be embarrassed or anything, if that is what he said. I was just trying to make sure I heard right. More silence. A short, scary “demonic” voice said, "Your/you’re something," but I couldn’t make it out. I asked, “So you don’t want me to contact anyone or do anything?” & again there was no reply.
I asked, “Why did you ask if I was alone, earlier?” I was indeed alone, but I didn’t reply to that question. Shouldn’t he be able to tell I’m alone?? Pretty clearly, I heard the Tony voice say, “Thought I’d get lucky” or something like that. He used the word “lucky.” I laughed and said, “I think I heard that correctly.” He said a few words, but I couldn’t make them out. Then, aw man, I’m a bit embarrassed to admit this, but then it felt a bit like a guy started to finger me. Just starting to put fingers in. Then I heard the Tony voice in my head asking if it was ok. I was not really comfortable with this, so I didnt respond. I didn’t want to piss him off. The feeling went away & I didn’t sense any negativity. That surprises me a lot, to be honest. Considering how violent he was in life & my own personal experiences in turning men down… I’m finding it hard to believe a gangster would be all like, “Ah, yeah, ok, that’s cool” & not get pissed off & hurt me. I’m grateful, but confused. It wasn’t the most “real” feeling a ghost has ever made me feel them, but it was definitely noticeable. It wasn’t a “Hey, did I feel something?” but a “Ok, what is that?”
I asked the other spirits to say their names & the only thing I could hear was that fast noise. I said I wasn’t hearing anything & then I heard the Tony voice say “something you.” I can’t make out the first word, though. He sounded a little upset/angry. Not pissed, but annoyed. I said, “I heard ‘you,’” & he quickly said, “No,” quite clearly. I asked if anyone could say my name & after a bit, the Tony voice says pretty clearly, “Boo.” Idk what that’s about. Trying to be cute? I ended the session.
I can’t say for sure that these were spirit communications. It seems like they could be, but I don’t have a real strong feeling they are. They’re in the category of “eh, maybe” for me, at the moment. I do have a creative imagination & it’s quite possible this was just from my mind. It does not feel anywhere near as strong as the signs. I told “Tony” that he’d have to do generic ghost shit, like knocking items over or knocking on the wall. Nothing has happened to that effect. Given the lack of physical evidence, it’s hard for me to tip over the middle of the “maybe no, maybe so” divide. I think something unusual is going on, but I’m not convinced it’s from spirits. I’m not really sure what it would be from, other than my mind, but it does seem to be at least a little more than my mind. And, again, the identity of the spirit(s) is another issue, altogether. I’m not completely convinced there are any spirits here, besides Santa Muerte.
Maybe things will become clearer in the future?
Just afraid of what would happen if he gets pissed at me. 
Anyone have experience with thought forms that can shed any light on this?
