I am by no means a magician or aspiring magician. I hold no aspirations to become a Warlock nor practice any form of craft. I am not religious but find myself to be somewhat spiritual(at best).
What i am is disheartened, depressed, and afraid and seeking real knowledge. My ignorance as an early teen opened myself up, somehow someway, to some form of demonic possession, and now in my early 40s find that it’s still here with me and only getting worse. I’m truly asking for knowledge and help.
I briefly touched on the subject under the topic “Possessed by Azazel”.
Any and all help, thoughts, or ideas would be greatly appreciated.
I read your comment on the other thread, my only guess is maybe in a past life you had a connection and did something to make him do things to you. You were brought back for a reason, maybe you have unfinished business and not just to watch people die that you love. Maybe you coming here is the upbringing of your path even though it’s later in your life. I know you say you have no inspiration for it but it started at an early age for you, sounds like the dots are connecting. Demonic possession is honestly a great thing if harnessed because you can learn so much and do anything. My advice: even though you don’t want to, dig deeper, learn to make a connection through meditation and find out what’s happening. But it’s on you I can’t control what you do, just my input man!
One thing though. 5 hours!? I mean I have heard of things like that happening, but it is extremely rare. Would you by chance have any news articles or documents covering the incident? Obviously with your name removed, ofcourse.
Forgive me for my scepticism, I have learned that it is good to take things with a grain of salt.
Are you able to tell us what exactly happened? You seem to be able to pinpoint the moment the trouble started in your youth. Were you engaged in some occult practise at the time? What makes you say that you opened yourself up to demonic possession at that time?
Other than the people’s house it happened at who found me face down dead in their floor, I have no other witnesses. Honestly, I can only go on what they told me. I know i woke up and shot it shortly after 5am and as soon as it hit my system put me down. They said they found me sometime after 10am, cold, gray, and stiff with no pulse, no breathing, and a pool of bloody vomit around my face. I found out after I came to that i had urinated and defecated on myself. I was in horrible shape for 4 days then went to the doctor. Horrible pink eye in both eyes and pneumonia in both lungs. Doctor was amazed i was alive.
People are full of shit and I’d be skeptical too, but this is not the 1st time such things have happened to me. Shot twice. 24 car wrecks including hitting a concrete overpass pillar headon on a street bike at 75mph. Barrel rolling a Ford van 21 times at 93mph in the Nevada desert. Too many instances that i shouldn’t have lived through, but seemingly just to insure my suffering.
I’m just asking for help. I have no reason to lie.
My mother is an avid book collector and when my buddy and I would get stoned and my parents weren’t home I’d pull out the most fucked up book i could find and start reading excerpts from it. This one fine sunny day, I grabbed 2 books by Anton LaVey: The Satanic Bible and Satanic Rituals. As i flipped through the Bible, it seemed rather boring so I started flipping through Rituals when I noticed that all the incantations appeared to be in, what i assumed at the time was, Latin but the acts plainly in English. Then I spotted it. I don’t know what it was for and have since searched for it to no avail, but the act was to abduct a Catholic nun, and insert a wafer (body of Christ) into her vagina, remove it, urinate on it then burn it to ash…all of this while reciding the Latin incantation(and i don’t speak Latin), so who knows wtf i was saying(like i said dumbass 12yr old kid) and after about 30 minutes or so my buddy starts freaking out, and makes me stop to look up. The bright, blue, summer sky was now blood red. I honestly can’t tell you if only we could see it that way or if everyone did, but considering it wasn’t on the news or talked about, I’m guessing only we could see it…and trust me when I say…I’ve smoked alot of pot but have NEVER since then had it make the sky change colors so that’s not it. Anyway i digress, that’s the day EVERYTHING seemed to change.
Since you have no interest in becoming a mage, this sounds like a deeply embedded parasite and time isn’t on your side, I suggest you use the Balg ritual for hire and get E.A. to do you a proper exorcism.
As a younger man, I may have been interested in learning, but after 30years of this thing beating me down…i no longer feel as though I’m in control of my happiness, my life, or anything even remotely Positive.
Looking back at things that happened, I can no longer exclude his possible interference as a viable possibility, but then i ask myself am I giving him too much credit…too much power? I really don’t know. For most of my adult life I just thought I had extremely horrible luck and fucked up genetics.
Grandma kills grandpa in sleep then kills herself(the weekend after i stay there and for no apparent reason. Brother hung himself. Sister slit wrists in bathtub. Other brother, cystic fibrosis…all dead. Numerous GFs dead. Good friends…dead!!! All that while still in my 20s. I can’t just chalk it up to misfortune or bad luck anymore. I’ve spoke to people in their 80s who haven’t dealt with so much death. IDK, I’m rambling and speculating.
That is alot of things to happen someone in a short time period, especially the way things happened, I recommend a cleanse but it definitely sounds like a parasite or something leeched onto you.
A lot things like that happened to my ex, his however started over something traumatic that happened in his childhood. Then it just got worse, I don’t even know if he ever really had control over himself.
Hello @9lives304, I am DezRa welcome to the BALG community, and I wanted to thank you for sharing with the forum. You have found the right place for learning, teaching, and obtaining knowledge in all areas of practice. I know you will be a great addition, and you will find a wide variety of knowledgeable people to aid in your path to ascension.
I can honestly say that I have experienced all of those things at one time or another. I’m constantly hunting things down that aren’t where I know I put them and I’ve had nightmarish dreams for as long as I can remember. I also find bleeding wounds that I can’t explain or know how I got them quite often. Hope that answers your questions
I understand your confusion. You said you have been seeing visions and haunted since childhood, although there are many theories out there, this does sound like a generational hex placed on your parents or even grandparents that has transcended to you. Demons once sent to destroy someone with black magic want to destroy any happiness, the most important thing in a parents life are there children, hence the visions and harassment.
I actually had a pretty good childhood. If you’ve read everything I’ve posted about this situation, everything was pretty good until then. Everything changed after that. From my attitude to my grades and everything in between.
I doubt its Azazel unless you SERIOUSLY pissed him off at some time in your existence, definitely sounds more like a parasitic malevolent entity. They feed on our negative energy and will co-opt others names and identities. Banishing and cleansing could help, but I definitely suggest you seek help from someone experienced.
I don’t know who or what it is for certain, but whatever the case, it has more power than I initially gave it credit for, understood, or even knew to give it credit for. Some things I can’t/won’t divulge, but there’s been times I acted ‘violently’ out of character for no reason.
Maybe I’m just being paranoid and seemingly wanting to assign blame for my own character defects onto this ‘being’ or whatever it is, but I’m finding myself questioning everything now.
Whatever it is, keeping a sound mind in this situation is important. If you let it use your own feelings against you, you are already letting it win. Most of these beings arent nearly as powerful as they feign to be. If you are not experienced its easy to be scared. Dont be. You are in control as long as you make an effort to be. Dont provoke but dont allow yourself to be manipulated.