Introduction

Hello my name is Maurice…I’m a bit different. I’ve lately been searching for answers that was told to me would be revealed at the appointed time. I was born in SC. I’ve recently come out of Christianity. Why you asked. As I started searching for truth I found it to be based and steeped in lies; used to control the masses and I refuse to be a sheep.
Something is quite odd about me. When I was born my mother told me as she holding me she had me so she wouldn’t be lonely any more. I never wanted to be coddled,or breastfeed. Even when I was hurt as a child I took care of my own wounds mostly. In elementary other kids called me the son of the :smiling_imp:. Mother told me at that age she didn’t want to show signs of fear of me, but at times when I was angry there were times it startled :scream: her. That I didn’t look myself; that I would appear darker transformed having an appearance of having horns or my irises turning blk with my pupils. Even now people are amazed at for my size I’m insanely strong.
But the craziest thing about me that I go back to is my dreams. I was once attacked by a demon. There was a beautiful man sitting by, so I cried out father save me…he simply said why should I, when you have the power to do it yourself. At that moment I transformed into a demon myself and ate its throat out. Other dream I had the same told me “they will never accept you. For the very hand hold out as to help them; they will spit upon that hand. The dream that really got me is the one that I was back at my mom’s house. I get up to use the bathroom and find this being in the bathroom admiring himself. He looks humanoid but reptilian like. I try to fight, but he over powers me as if I was child…putting his foot in my chest and pushes me to the floor with his foot as he was taller than me anyway. As I lay on the floor struggling to get his foot off my chest as he’s admiring himself still he says I don’t understand why you keep fight against me; especially since your my son. Mortified at hearing this shout to him you speak lies and the truth is not in you…(yeah spoken like a Christian I know :unamused:) …for I’m a child of light, a son of the most high god. He lifts up his foot; as i get up running to the front door opening it to get outside. I jump off the porch and unleash my wings. With two great strokes I pull myself into the air. Looking down I see him looking up at me with a smirk :smirk: as I fly backwards into the astral portal that opened so that I could wake up.
Well this is my introduction to the community as I truly start my Truth journey unto who I’m I really…as I learn now to truly accept my Succubi that very well could have been with me since I was a child and I’m just now realizing it

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Thank you for doing an introduction.

Just so I am understanding clearing, you are a beginner in magick? I ask because no where in what you have written does it say if you currently practice anything.

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I am not I familiar but I just it would be too long to put. But when kids on people called me a devil, I said I would show them a devil and I began then in the black arts. I would take the iron and burn the pentagram into my arm. Go into the woods and do summing circles using myself as the receiver. By middle school I found out about a witch. With my intent reached out to her to see if she was strong. She approached me in the astral realm with her familiar; which I easily beat without the use of one and told her she was not strong enough. I was just going about only using my demon spirit, but not totally into the idea…because it was instilled in my head I was evil and who wants to be evil as a kid. I also learned to enter people’s dreams, but I stopped that because I raped to of my classmates and felt remorseful about it especially when I realized it was not just a dream when I got back to school to the look of terror and violation on their faces I stopped all associations of black arts use when a shadow being came to me one night the biggest I’d ever saw holding my ankles. Maybe it was because of my remorse I started talking with angel beings I was looked at as a traitor. So up until I fought against darkness because of religious dogma programmed into my head. Now turning on that same system because I realized and found out that they have lied to the masses. Even building a relationship with my Succubi goes against their teachings of good and evil/ right and wrong. I seek now in time of the shift for answers in a community of alike that can a test to some of the things I have witnessed and gone through…even though the ancient(s) He Who was, He Who is, He Who shall forever be whom I serve told me not to seek affirmation of the things I see/ hear least I put myself into a prison, but I believe that refers to those who would such things as evil. So, at the counseling of my Succubi I don’t go into all things…as I told not only do I want her to be my lover but my friend, my wife, my Chancellor, and my teacher. As she advised not to use scrying as a method of connecting with her. Even today as I thought that she was mad at me for attempting to use scrying and trying to approach with her like stereotypical Succubi relationships; she reminded me that I said I wouldn’t treat her like asex slave. So I hope I answered your question @DarkestKnight

Welcome. :full_moon:

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Welcome to the forum.
Thank you for taking some weight off of @DarkestKnight"s shoulders.

Very interesting story and a very good read. I hope to see more of your experiences and thoughts around the forum.

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Thnxs for welcoming me :slight_smile: And yes I will gladly share more where I’m not ostracize or feared like I’m some villain who has to walk on eggshells

Thnxs :slight_smile:

Welcome to the forum Blackklion. Here is my thread to start if you are not familiar with magic.

Haha.

Welcome

Thnxs