Hello. I have been reading the BALG forum for a long time, about three years or more, but I still could not dare to go in and write something. Now I am here.
I am 25, I am from Russia, started to be interested in Goetia and other grimoires at about 18 years old, one of the first books was The Sacred Magic of Abramelin, which really impressed me then. However, I have always had a mystical mindset, since childhood I was very much involved in the Christian tradition and folk pagan traditions, moreover, of different peoples of our region. Therefore, I almost never doubted the existence of gods, spirits and magic, except for a short period of teenage rebellion.
So, I must say that now I even have some experience in working with spirits, which, however, is very insignificant. In particular, a few years ago, when I just started in theory to discover the world of evocations, sigill, singing enns, I performed a ritual with requests to Lilith. All this was extremely difficult for me then because of my Christian mentality, and, as a rule, I was interrupted too quickly and generally wanted quick results here and now. Of course, nothing happened. Then it seemed to me that this was a failure, although now, if you look at the last few years, I understand that this is not entirely true, and perhaps Lilith did fulfill some of my requests and perhaps taught me a lesson. For since then I have discovered in myself such facets of sexuality that I could not even have thought about before, and, in addition, I began to notice the unhealthy attraction of men to me, despite the fact that I am not even handsome, but quite an ordinary type , besides, bearded and a little overweight.
In addition, I tried to appeal to Raphael, which did not have any success, there were thoughts to turn to other representatives of the angelic army like Ariel, and a couple of Shemhamphosh angels - to the angels Haziel and Iezalel. I didn’t, but I’m still curious about their power.
For most of the years that I have studied grimoires, I was especially interested in spirits capable of the craft of healing (these are, in particular, Verrine and Marbas). I am extremely interested in the limits of their possibilities of strength and power. Several times I came across here the stories of participants that they create rituals, summoning different spirits together in order to achieve a specific goal. Someday I will do the same by summoning some medical spirits and human body mechanics. I would be glad if someone told about a similar experience, or would give advice on their own experience.
I would also like to ask experienced practitioners for help. The fact is that due to a number of circumstances in my life, I cannot devote proper time to rituals. This fact is also superimposed on my natural lack of emotionality, weak physical energy and spiritual strength, which does not allow me to change in order to fully feel the spiritual world around me. I need a push so that strong spirits break through the defenses of my subconscious, help swing and strengthen my vibrations.
I think it is also worth mentioning that I have done some Marbas summoning rituals lately. Results are not yet visible. Perhaps I will make a separate post about my successes. But if there are friends of this spirit here, then I also ask you to help you contact him so that I can hear him.
Thanks in advance, I will be glad to talk to you.