Introduction + Some guidance please

Hey there,

Im a 18 y/o from Germany and i just stumbled across this forum today.

Now let me just get started right away: I had a pretty normal upbringing. My father is catholic (atleast on paper he isn’t religious) and my mother is Protestant. Until I was probably like 14 or something I did believe in god and angels and all that but as I began to delve more and more into science I abandoned my faith.

Yet and still I have this feeling that there are greater powers at work and I really want that to be true.

The important part

Anyways let’s get to the main point.
In the recent months I, for reasons unknown, got really interested in pagan religions (especially those mentioned in the Bible) and also hermetics and magic.
The religion that intrigued me the most was that of the ancient canaanite people (later phonecians/carthaginians).
Something about their idols just awed me.

Here comes the scary part though.
And I’m not just saying that, it truly scares me.
Some of you may be familiar with the Canaanite god MOLOCH or MOLECH or whatever.
For some reason, this god occupies my mind 24/7. when I watch television, the image of his idol where the canaanites burned their children to him just pops up in my mind. And not as a idea…but as a image. Also I sometimes catch myself saying his name out loud without any context.

I was wondering if any of y’all had similar situations in their lives and I really need some people to talk to about that since I’m beginning to feel like loosing control.

Thank you all in advance and I hope the sun is shining where you live just as much as it is shining where I am right now (Ik I’m a bit weird sorry)

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Welcome to the forum !
There are lots of information about pagan gods and practices in here, so don’t forget to hit the “search” button and dive in.
As for your experiences, it seems to me like the god is trying to reach out to you, for reasons unknown to me . I say you should grab that chance and since you’re already feeling a connection with paganism ,you should try to contact him. Maybe he would like to guide you through your journey. Many members of the forum have actually talked about what you’re describing here. Again, the search function is your best friend. Best of luck. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Thank you for the fast reply my friend.

I’ve looked through some of the moloch topics but my individual problem is that on the one hand I feel very drawn towards him although I don’t know much about him (some links would be nice if anyone has some spare time) but on the other hand I as a mostly pacifist and nice guy don’t really want to pray/talk to someone who accepts/demands children to be burnt to him.

Another interesting thing that happened to me not so long ago was: I was sitting on my bed just kinda daydreaming and reflecting on my life when I told myself „maybe I should go to church again“ and „I kinda want to believe in god“.
Now as I was saying that, I grabbed my waterbottle and tried to sip but I splashed it all over my shirt and the bottle fell into my groin area which really hurt :upside_down_face:
Again I felt like this did not happen without reason and I hold MOLOCH accountable for this as his image popped into my head just after this incident.

I’d be thankful for further conversations about this.


Do you have any experience in magick? You haven’t really told us if you actually practice anything, and that is an important part of your itnrodcution.

Oh yeah I totally forgot about that part.

No I have no experience other than looking at a few indigo speaker yt videos and documentaries.

Which makes this whole thing a lot more scary to me

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