Hello I’m new here. I wanted to share my experiences so far. But first let me introduce myself. In the past I’ve been into shamanism, aztec, Native American mythology, psychedelics. I’ve had near 1000 acid trips, and have done all the drugs, mixed, recreationally, spiritually, ritually. Only being 21 and already being quite sensitive, I realized I was going too far and was really losing it. Occultism, demonology, and what not has been my go to for the last 4-5 months, and has so far replaced bad habits. While shamanism is great, I am not a shaman. My strategy was always to doubt everything, but be excepting of all. While this is great and maybe one of the best ways to get by, it’s a strategy I’m too weak for at the moment. I can’t take in so many energies anymore. I need a firm belief in something, I grew up LDS and by the time I was 12-13 realized how much religion had buried my head in the sand (imagine those who grow old in it!). I like the idea of church, of gathering to worship, to pray etc…, the people are generally very nice and good people who are sincerely just trying to get by. they can be judgmental, but I pity them because I feel that they’ve been tricked by the ones running it. The people at the top of the church do not seem like good people to me. The LDS church and other faiths run like a government, (esp) the LDS church is unbelievably hierarchical, male dominated, tithing is taxes, they wear their suits. Regardless of that, or Christianity in general, I have had very strange and uplifting experiences with Jesus. I think Shamanism is a lot about feeling everything, all negative and positive, and I realized I can’t take on all my pain all the time. Wether it’s Jesus or another entity, there is something that when trusted alleviates the pain, and comforts you. I’m not sure, but in my opinion I see nothing wrong with combing some aspects of Christianity with occultism. Lately I’ve been assigned, or I chose, 3 entities to work with. I’m keeping it at these 3 to reduce clutter and to stick with it. My 3 entities are King Paimon, to guide me through my hells, and teach me, Xochiquetzal, the Goddess of beauty, fertility, sex, femininity in Aztec culture, to help me with women, relationships, and Jesus to help me stay humble, and to take on the pains that I just can’t. I don’t fully believe in anything, but I’ve lived in such abysmal states of mind, complete chaos, that I’m trusting these 3 entities as my guides to create for me stepping stones, so far I’ve stuck with this layout for a couple months. This is the first time I’ve created a discussion/forum anywhere, so it’s nice to meet you all.
There was something about King Paimon that I felt attracted to. I tried evoking guision, orabas, and although I felt a presence, nothing clicked. King Paimon’s energy is so powerful, but subtle, there’s nothing flashy about him. I get the sense he’s a little sad, slightly prideful, gloomy, wise, but nonetheless content with what he’s doing and what he’s about. For me there’s something personable about him, like even though he’s a powerful demon, he not only understands humans and human thought, but he feels human thought and emotion too. Maybe I’m wrong, but this is what I sense. I’m going through one of my best friends leaving me. last year I was close to death a few times, even though she lives a block away, she wouldn’t visit me, although she would talk to me through text. She wouldn’t even let me call her on the phone. This situation has tormented me for the past 6 months or so. How could she do this to me is all I can think. When I evoked the King I asked him for assistance in this, to get some reconciliation with her, a quick visit, a hug, a phone call, anything. He was understanding, like he knew what it was like, and he was comforting. Nothing has happened as far as reconciliation, which I get it. Demons aren’t your slaves and they won’t do everything for you. Also I read somewhere that King Paimon doesn’t have as much interest in helping with peoples relationships, friendships, love life etc. But his comfort and strength has helped me gain clarity and understanding. Here and there he’s helped me with little things to show me he’s still my guide, I won’t go into detail about those things, just little things here and there. I’m not here to brag, no one knows who I am anyway. But I’m good enough at guitar and poetry that I can use them as offerings and feel that it’s a perfect and satisfactory gift for spirits and entities. I’ve so far only offered these things, and King Paimon is satisfied with this. I play him beautiful folk guitar as an offering, or just when I want to feel his energy. There’s a song on skyward sword (Zelda) called bamboo island. For some reason he digs that song. There’s certain songs that he likes a lot, I’ve read that he sometimes has a band behind him playing trumpets and horns, so when I’m playing for him I like to imagine I’m playing with them. I’m happy that King Paimon and me have been able to form a bond. I think maybe that if you don’t first feel a bond then you should move on, until you find that perfect fit and feeling that should come along with this type of thing. I may post later with questions, or other subjects, but for now I just wanted to share my experience and say hi.