Introduction and asking for guidance

Hi there! My username is piarsoph and I am a 20yo guy from Italy in search of knowldege and direction.

I think of myself as both light and darkness. I respect my animal side and I respect my moral side.
The problem is that rhp traditions completely ignores our darkness and desires and doesn’t teach how to have power over them, and I know that subjugation and repression of those impulses is not healthy for us.
On the other hand lhp traditions are scary as fuck. I mean… Why the fuck do the most common demons of lhp traditions appear so evil and naughty? I am really really interested in Draconian philosphy as a way to self-evolution but after reading some sensory descriptions of the initiatory experiences into Lilith Cave, blood everwhere, dying and being eaten by the Goddess… Well… I started questioning if that was the right choice for me.

I mean, why beautiful angels teach subjugation of our vital soul and horrific demons are seen as guides to evolution? I want to become independent, powerful, and aware. Not a liar, lustful, uncontrolled and hateful man. The Qlipphoth just describes these latter shades of character, and I’m asking myself why and how are they benefic to our evolution?

I’m attracted to the self-reinforcing and power affirming views of lhp, but I can’t comprehend into myself the all-dark asthetic of the Infernal.
I’m asking you, There exist a light-driven LHP Tradition? Or at least a tradition that incorporated both aspects of light and darkness, like some depictions of Lucifer as an half-angelic and half-demonic being, bringer of light. (the problem I found is that the 99% of luciferian thought I read online is only about his demonic side and this don’t match as the archetype that I have in mind… maybe it’s not lucifer?)

Thank you for reading this wall of text and for answering my doubt. Love.

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Do you have any practical experience in magick? Everything in your post is just abstract theory and opinion, but nowhere have you actually told us anything about yourself other than your age.

What do you practice?

How long have you practiced?

If you are a beginner, what struggles and goals are you looking to magick to help with?

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Best advice I can give that I wish was given to me early on: don’t trust everything you read. Things tend to look very pretty and neat on paper, when life is actually very messy. Spirits fit in neat categories as well as humans do, not very well in the end. Immerse yourself with the current by working with these spirits and find the truth for yourself. Research is meant as a way to start the process of connecting to these beings, not define the experience. Also, you are ultimately in control of what you become, not the spirits.


Welcome to the forum.