My name is Alexander. I live somewhere in the U.S.
I’ve never studied anything regarding magic(k) before the following presentation.
I’d like to avoid issues in my life. Idk. I’m just curious and confused by all this.
I can help people with mundane things, like investments or technology. Still a very young learner. I’d indeed would like to know wtf happened. I had a calling to the LHP then was saved? Or it is just not for me? Wtf happened?
I was married to this women. We had a child. Everything seemed alright.
I was never in the occult. I was completely ignorant. And still today, considerably ignorant. She never talked about it, but looking back I can feel she was deep in it. A master of yoga, always talking about the marvelous kundalini. She considered herself much, much superior to me in spirtual matters. Eventually, we moved out of the country. Our child was almost 2. We needed more cash but she only wanted to stay at home with the child and travel. I was miserable. She left me to travel with the child for months.
Then one day I discovered her photos with another man. I think it was before the marrige, but didn’t matter. Her face of pleasure with another man, all that sex photos… She had a collection of pics with other man. How I found it? She accidentally let her camera SD inside my computer. Needless to say, google indexed everything and showed it up with her face. I tried to forgive her. She came back to our home and made my life a living hell. I was depressed. Then I tried suicide. Almost happened. After this, she started to be even worse and eventually went crazy. Pushed me out of home, called the police saying I had hit her ( a lie ) and took the child away to her home country.
I went to live with a friend. My friend knows the occult. I do not know his path, but i think its the LHP. Crazy things happened. We made some rituals with a witch. Burn some stuff, work in progress, 3 circles right think about good stuff, 3 circles left think about bad stuff.
Next day, apparently, Lucifer himself took over my friend. We talked for hours. He told me I should be a goat, not a sheep. I am a sinner. I did a lot of shit. Much more than my friend could even imagine. He, apparently, wanted to take over my life. He was seductive. Inteligent. Told me about how God is oppresive. I disagreed. Despite being a human piece of shit, I never hurt anybody. And I loved that women. And I love my Child more than anything in this world. HE made me crazy. And doubtful. I had a jewish upbringing, so the God of Isaac, Abraham and Jacob is my guy. I don’t want to discuss that. But I doubted God (or for politheists, the Jewish/Christian God).
What happened after this was insane. My friend was still making a lot of rituals. He intro’ed me to crowley. I’ve had read a lot of his books in the following days. And it was interesting, but in my heart I diasgree with it all. However, back then, I had the doubt. I don’t know what else my friend was doing. He was also in a lot of distress due to another circunstances.
Suddenly, one day, I felt all the guilty. I identified that I had made most of the mistakes that led to the marriage end. Indeed, looking back, i’d say its 50/50. But she never loved me. She wanted a house in a nice country, money and a Child. Not a husband (or to work). And I started to pray. In hebrew. I felt my right side of the face, then of the whole body, in fire. 1 week later, I woke up in a mental hospital.
According to my friend, I went bananas. First we were in the movies and I fucking went crazy 100%. I imagined everybody were satanists and iluminati there. I raised up, called them all bad people and went away. The police detained me. I looked at my friend, now he seemed to have black eyes and a very trickster face, and he was telling me that I deserved that. Then things got blurry. And I lost control. I was eventually released with some diazepam .
Things went way more crazy. Suddenly I felt strong. I felt fast. I felt avengeful. And in my dreams somebody with a sword of fire and chains came to rescue me. According to my friend (i dont remember this) i went to his room and skillfully (for somebody that is not an occultist) destroyed all the magic there. Then I separated entities in his altar. Everything that was on the side of Elohim, to the right. Everything else, to the left.
Then I started to drop all my possessions. I went to the atm, get the equivalent of 5k (the daily limit) and handled to people on the streets. I took my shoes off. Dropped all my credit cards on the street. And wandered around the city.
This happened around a year ago. There’s many many other details that I can explain but I won’t extend myself here for now. Since then, the right side of my body BURNS when I am near somebody or something that seems to against him. He started to talk to me. Every day. Apparently he is Archangel Michael. And I started to follow. Life started to flow. I pledged alliance to him. He is very angry and gets far from me when I get to this page. But still, there’s things no church or synagogue answered me. And when I see the inverted pentagram as we have in this page, the left side getz buzzed.
Wtf is happened? This really exist? I went to the best mental hospitals in the US and nothing is happening. Sharp health. The former wife disappeared with the child and im still fighting her in the courts. I now have all the material wealth I could ever expect. But i feel empty. I want my family back, but it will never be back since that women never loved me.