Into Loagaeth

Ok so what the fuck have I been experiencing?

There’s a lot of magick out there, probably more than I am currently aware of, but I’ve at least sampled most of it. Do I know myself now?

What I do know is this - some magick feels like trying to force myself to be something I’m not for some purpose that does not originate from my desires. Usually it’s either some “ideal” that presumably other people have (probably just culture propaganda bullshit) or it’s me being deluded about the requirements of The Path. Or, it’s from weakness. Classic, that one. But what if they don’t like me?! Ooh, see, the problem right there is giving a fuck.

Yeah so that’s cool. Transitioning to a different point now.

There is suffering.
There is the cause of suffering.
There is the end of suffering.
There is the path.

People who do nothing but think all the time have nothing to think about except thoughts. We get so wrapped up in our minds that we lose all sense of reality, and live in a world of illusions. That’s real fuckin bad, stoopid.

Aside from not summoning lame, unaligned spirits, concentration is probably the best way to unfuck yourself in any and every way (insight can come later). Thinking - bad and stoopid. Generally speaking. Wuuughghghg but what about, no - bad and stoopid.

Do I want to be a scatter-brained moron deluded by appearances who can’t even listen to a record without mind wandering off into nonsense? No that sounds undesirable.

Do I want to be like these poverty-ridden losers? No that sounds undesirable. Wah wah wah, cry about it some more and give me hate to feed on, dumbass. It’s not my problem some people don’t make considered life decisions. If I was born in 3rd world ancapistan or whatever (no digs at the ancapistanians), I’d either be a warlord or the merchant making a killing. Because that’s just who I am - effective.

Do I really hate myself that much?

Demons, raises eyebrow? - they’ll be absolutely repugnant to you or the absolute integration of your power and being.

I just find it amazing how these things happen. I’ve been struggling, struggling hard, riding that struggle bus through struggle town, and then it all falls away, just like that. Damn, ed dude. That really is how it feels. No struggle, no bullshit, just power and pleasure.

Every day, I learn something new. Truly, amazing. When I stop asking for these oddly specific niche specialty angels and instead cultivate knowledge, an occasional demon here and there, that feels good to me. I like doing magick, and if Loagaeth isn’t mystical enough for you, I really don’t know what to tell you. If you want good feeling energy, meditate your way into deep concentration states or do energy work practices. I say “you” as a figure of speech or whatever. Or, you know, summon up some demons to make your life not shitty. Highly recommend!

It is true, though, that as part of my material pleasure I enjoy the practice of magickal exploration. But to me, it’s kind of like this. First of all, if all you are is “well read,” that’s really not particularly impressive to me. Being well practiced is what generates my respect. Perhaps you may know, dear reader, that I am ultra Sagittarius and like to do lots of different things at skillfully developed levels of skill, but at the end of the day, you either reach your peak experiences of self-actualization, or you don’t. As it is said, it’s never too early or too late to live in ongoing success. You don’t get self-actualized by floundering, as they say. I get self-actualized by doing this, so that’s cool for me. You also don’t get self-actualized by suffering away doing boring, dumb shit. I suppose you could use it for mindfulness practice, but then again, you could also summon the money spirits and get urself all lubed up with cash flowing out your eyeballs, or it would be if they weren’t closed while you’re engaging in focused meditation. Reminder to do your eyeball stretches - arguably even more important than normal stretches. Perhaps just as important for me cause I’m self-actualizing, oh yeah.

It’s a common pattern for me in my life to expect something, really, truly, genuinely expect it, and then for something completely different to go down, so who fuckin knows what I’ll be getting up to in the future, but after going through another pretty common pattern for me in my life where I push things to the very absolute brink of manifestation, and then realize nah I’m good, I see a beautiful clarity of purpose, and an elegant simplicity to my design. First time I’ve said that? Ha, no, but I know absolutely that Enochian and Lucifer are my fuckin jam. There’s some other stuff that has immense utility as well. There is something there in the purity of that commitment. I’m going to do a new paragraph now.

The Soyga pathworking - the great question. I think I’ll just listen to my tunes - take your tiiiiime baaaby. Cause that’s what I do, manifest guidance and shit. It’s a lot of fucking tables and even more lines, and by no means ever am I going to forgo my material life. What would be the point of manifesting that if I didn’t even enjoy it? Particularly what I manifested for myself. I may be monklike, but not exactly out begging for alms. Buddha’s the fuckin dude, though. Similarly, what would be the point of manifesting this practice for myself if I also did not enjoy it?

Some fun notes on that note to close it out for today

Last night I had a dream wherein I was Napoleon. Yes, the French dude. There were no thoughts of me being anyone else - I was Napoleon, and I knew that. I was on the ground on a battlefield. A very strange (I believe enemy) tank rolled by. It was really thin and tall, not like T-34 Sherman thin and tall, but like really thin and almost double-decker tall, golden in color. Odd vehicle, but probably having a good time if the artillery couldn’t even fuck with it. Then this character I recognize drove in with a car, and I rolled over to avoid being run over. I guess I wasn’t really feeling standing up. I got in, and could feel the deferential awe of my driver. After a moment I requested if I could go back for my bag, close by. The driver was reluctant but didn’t want to refuse me. I gave him a deferential shoulder squeeze and exited the vehicle, searching for my bag. I wondered about enemy and saw a man in green uniform out in the corner of my eye in the distance. Lucidity came over me, and I knew it was a dream. The scene then faded into blurred obscurity, and perhaps then another dream arose. See, I had forgotten this dream until it came back to me while lying back down after recording another dream.

Want to know a good way to know if someone’s full of shit, aside from often driving by a remembrance of what once was? If in the dream state, they always try and run away and avoid you while you press them about something because they are trying to maintain what they know is bullshit, like you’ll just accept it or something, that’s probably a good indicator. It’s amusing, when these people put themselves into a situation where my only options involve full-blown manipulation, and then they try to lash out at you for not just accepting their bullshit. It seems like you’re starting to project your hatred for [let’s say the self] onto me. How am I supposed to maintain my integrity and not get shit on if I don’t use my knowledge and abilities against someone acting with “intent” to harm me? No, I’m not sorry, you’re making me do this, and how do you think that makes me feel. I’m just more knowledgeable, and dare I say it, more fucking aware. They always dismiss that insult because they lack the awareness to know how ignorant and un-evolved they are. It’s like those people who know like two things about pseudo-psychology and then are incompetent at their main field of study but believe themselves smarter than you due to society’s valuation of their profession for its economic utility in various people’s power systems. Fine by me, dumbass.

Cause guess what?! I got what I fucking wanted! I won, me! I win! I hope you enjoy your pathetic miserable life!

I am become death, destroyer of worlds.

Do some people really live like that? Will some day my enemies be using Angels of Alchemy magick? Have I become so ensnared in Western culture that I failed to consider all of the options without bias, thinking only from my perspective as one who’s early magickal practices involved certain practices?

I think I did it again, but this time, even deeper, and even more integrated. Now, I cast aside these notions of what it means to be in an angelic or demonic state of mind. I have my powers and my practices.

On second thought, here this line being edited in at the end of this writing process, I suppose I have continued the development of my notions of what it means to be in an angelic or demonic state of mind. Given the choice to do angel magick, and I think we all know what I mean when I say do angel magick, I believe my choice will be Enochian. Given the choice to do demon magick, I believe it is likely that I will want to meditate, do dream practices, do various divination practices, and perhaps do some money practices.

If I’m gonna do demon magick, I want to enjoy being an occultist. If I’m gonna do angel magick, I’m going full monk because for me there is no other possibility. In this way I know myself. It has been a great while since I studied these teachings initially, but it seems the results of my practice sometimes are not so obvious to me. I vessel so well for these spirits and I realize that the sense of a self is an illusion.

Can you imagine, being in the astral plane, and discovering the practice of Lucifer magick? What gateways could this open?

No upkeeping elemental attunement, written lines around the beginning of the week. Yet the dreams still flow. Is it a dream per line, or a line per dream? Seems unlikely. A letter per dream? Or perhaps the commitment to the practice, the regularity and immersion into it consistently practiced as time elapses. Being, as they say, in Loagaeth.

Regardless of what’s been happening, it seems I’ve mostly always had this feeling of a great quest unfolding before me that is my life. In recent times, that is, while I’ve been in this great whirlpool of magick.

I suppose this is a good indicator - could I see myself doing this for the rest of my life? I would say extreme life events aside, but even in those such times as they were for me, given my current array of tools and methods I believe I know what I would choose.

Nice thing is though, I’ve manifested myself right on out of that so I don’t have to make those such considerations anymore, but while I was in that, the corruption became power in the form of development of practices. There was a missing link, but now I have that.

Oh but now I can’t distract myself with magick, I have to live my life! Great! I won’t be doing magick that just encourages misery for me, and I have manifested what I have intended to manifest for years, remaining steadfast in my path while being guided by my spiritual allies and the powers I summon.

As in a way I once discovered for myself through other means, if all you have experienced is shit, that’s all you’ll likely expect to happen. You’ll plan for it, try to prevent it but also have impulses to encourage it to happen, and you will remain in its clutches until you can accept that it is in the past and that through magickal and mundane actions change has manifested.

I feel so me. I sometimes like to think in terms of analogies that make sense to me. It’s like after my freshman year. A lot of that was objectively interesting, undeniably so, but some of it was awful and some of it misery-inducing and there’s just no reason for me to do any of that at all, whatsoever.

I don’t have to worry about this - I have my weapons. My weapons. Weapons I’ve much experience with. I don’t have to let go of my weapons. They can stay right here with me, giving me comfort. Maybe, doom will occur. Maybe, my head will spontaneously explode. If it does, my enemies will experience so much damage their life spans will almost certainly be significantly reduced, quality of life damaged, mental suffering ramped up to new highs, and all of that while I remain successful and live in a different kind of peace. So, whatever happens, I win. I cannot lose. I can lose, but not, like, lose, because I have made myself strong with the power of magick.

Here I stand unbroken, and here I see my life of pleasure and passion.

What a confusing day. And profitable!


My intentional energies were not optimally effective for myself.

This is because my impulse to seek knowledge compelled me into a series of magickal explorations in which I discovered many things, including further verification of what I have received. However, these discoveries and explorations demanded that I be involved with energies that did not nourish me as I need to be. This lead to a linked series of situations which increasingly fucked with my head, as it were, not maliciously, but in a way as natural as attempting to force a square through a circle hole. This undertaking was necessary, however, as otherwise I would have not sated my impulse to seek knowledge and so dwelled in uncertainty. Even still, corruption was being made manifest, and although it follows definitionally that I was gaining power, here in the form of knowledge, corruption was still being made manifest. This also, somewhat relatedly, lead to me developing personal methods for the practice of a magick that I intend to be involved with for many years to come.

So yeah. Have I sufficiently justified my behavior?

Every night, I go into bed fresh off the experience of profound gratitude, indeed we could say, a love supreme. As I arise for the day, I summon beings to get what I want.

Must demons be considered the corrupt ones? Is not any step away from Divinity an equidistant pace, an equally true reflection?

Wow, you meditate and sleep your eight hours and exercise, you must really have your shit together! sits down and cycles through the jhanas, experiencing neither perception nor yet non-perception, prognosticates gains mystical insight and has a good time, does some cardio. Yeah, totally.

Suffering, and the end of suffering.

No, that’s right. This is a disaster.

How do disasters manifest in my life? The only way they can.

like an earthquake
like a fire
like a tsunami
like a tornado

In this way, wealth flows through me.

I am grateful.

for the things I have
for the connections I have made
for who I am
for the ability to experience

Thank you for being the vehicle through which knowledge is delivered to me. Thank you for the entertainment. Thank you for allowing me to reflect upon myself and thereby see the light that is within me. Thank you, just for being there.

In a dark, mossy forest - stacks on stacks on stacks so they can’t see how scared I really am.

Through dedication and persistence I have cultivated an erring towards empathy and beneficial intentions for others, not only in my limited perceptions, but in consideration of the true, greatest benefit for others. Baseless, empty malice does not interest me. Long ago I set this aside as I cleansed myself in the light of these beings, high and low. How little time I have for such meaningless, impactless squabbles.

I fear nothing more than ignorance, mine and others’, and second only to that I fear the capacity which I know I have within myself. Not for effectiveness, but for empty, baseless malice, grown off of itself, fed off of itself, spreading like an infection to choke the light I have fought so hard to reveal within the deep wells of my mind.

I do not fear the capacity I know I have, known through experience, that I can do reasonably enough with only toxic relationships in my life. Even the relatively good ones, still toxic. I do not fear this capacity because it is this very capacity which has seen me through to this light. But when I ask myself, do I want to return to this poverty?

It is as I requested it to be.

This is a dream; I am in control.

Ever mindful he breathes in, mindful he breathes out. Breathing in a long breath, he knows, “I am breathing in a long breath”; breathing out a long breath, he knows, “I am breathing out a long breath”; breathing in a short breath, he knows, “I am breathing in a short breath”; breathing out a short breath, he knows, “I am breathing out a short breath.”

Until he acquires the acquired perception, and there is nothing but sensations, arising and passing away, in the quiet of meditation. The only warrior I want to let out is the romantic warrior - a great fucking album. Rest in peace. Giving the real shit to you, like I do.

I wish these narcs would get off my case and project their issues somewhere else. Fuck me for not being completely surrounded by enemies anymore, I guess, cause it’s always my fucking fault. And for revealing some of the greatest magick this species has ever known. The achievement means nothing beyond its contribution to my self-actualization. It’s enough to make one feel like an ancient being, all this death.

But here I am, so light and free, holding the light, all colors existing within me.


Ah ah, ooh ooh, WOOOAH, I don’t give a shit.

A lesson from an esteemed mentor - consider the reasonable downside potential.

A lesson from a host of wise people - hedge and manage risk.

A lesson from Lucifer - give yourself a life of pleasure.

A lesson from me - give less of a fuck.

What am I supposed to do with this weird amount of time? Be efficient, be effective.

Normally, I’d meditate.

This should be interesting, though. Now this, this, this I do not remember as it is new to me. So many tools in my toolbox!

Should I be MILDin? Perhaps. Is MILDin less effective than cultivating strong mindfulness? Is MILDin exponentially more effective with the cultivation of strong mindfulness?

I’d forgotten (and now remember) how helpful to one’s thinking the demons are. At least to my thinking. “Receive Guidance” starts to feel like “make my decisions for me,” at least to me, and not in the fun way.

What’s interesting is my perception of the quality (quality as in powers and qualities kind of quality, like characteristic) of my thinking process with a more demonic state of mind. It feels more like personal calculation. Perhaps I have simply not really used this faculty as much in recent times and it became somewhat dormant. The clarity that comes from being energetically aligned with myself feels good.

Or perhaps it was partly being habituated to angelic reception, and so when ignorant fucking dumbass idiots, or simply ignorant people, or people with a different life perspective or situation, try to tell me what I should do, I actually seriously consider what they are saying instead of dismissing them completely outright, which is the far more intelligent choice.

An illustrative example, for my own amusement. There once was a time when I spent like half an hour in a “discussion” with someone (technically I was their superior) wherein I literally wrote out the logical chain of ideas in these little bubbles and drew lines to connect them together sequentially in the logic chain. The final item in this list looped back around to the first item. After this being written on the board, we literally looped around the exact same logic chain at least several times. Every time, they brought up the exact same points, and I just pointed to the next bubble in the chain, around and around and around, until eventually they gave up. This was after being screamed at by an ex-military guy, who stormed out of the room in a fit of pouty rage. Ideally they all felt bad about themselves, because they really should have.

I feel like I barely even think about things too much anymore. From a place of calmness and objectivity centered around myself, clarity naturally arises from automatic mental calculation processes. Cause I cultivated a big fuckin brain smarty pants. And plug my shit in to demonic intelligence, like a big fuckin brain smarty pants.

Rather than taking pleasure in someone else’s story, I think I will consider my own for a time.

What if I really do this, shift my magickal practice into the Keys upon completion of the construction of the Loagaeth tables and thus completing the preparations. I believe there is a plan for this.

What would the benefits of this be, rather than remaining with more demonic practice? It’s not like the demons get you a bad life.

At one set of lines per week, with the initial structuring of the table (Table? ahh whatever) and let’s say the ritual done within this time, that is about a table (one side) per month. 48 tables, 96 months, 8 years. I think this is a pretty aggressive timeline but an appropriate amount to be striven for. If I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it, and there is no other possibility.

Between now and then, what do I want to develop? Saying that the Keys involves an emphasis on meditation, which I believe is to say the skill of concentration and the practice of insight, means that I probably want to be moving into that with at least The Mind Illuminated Stage 10 practice for some time ongoing. If I am a meditator, such would be an unquestionable requirement. I could then use that time to push fast and deep into that territory. I could time retreats for accelerating learning at key moments, through this time cultivating a sustained, powerful concentration. I could include fire kasina in my practice, cultivating the skill of closed-eye scrying. That is to say, maintaining concentration of the external visual sensations of light with closed eyes, and through this method performing scrying. Given the recorded accomplishments and experiences with fire kasina, and my own experiences with the Enochian Keys, I think this would be a fruitful practice.

Given my brief experiences with Loagaeth-infused energy, I’ll say it to avoid this other word, energy manipulation practices, I believe this would also go well. The mind does not have to be held to such lofty heights of concentration forever, but the power that can come from this practice is a new level of resting, natural concentration and mindfulness (really it’s that your mindfulness becomes increasingly concentrated), which is just how you are now after that, truly quite a different being from all these humans. To further elaborate on that point however, somewhere around Stage 4-5 practices are introduced to increase the power of mindfulness by challenging meditational attention with more difficult activities in certain ways, and doing this has a direct impact on practice with the breath. It is a way to break through to even finer gradations of the continuous ongoing flow of sensations arising and passing away. When I was in school, I avoided the sensation and perception class because I thought it would be pretty boring, and this pleases me as it is much more interesting and more directly applicable to one’s immediate and actual experience to meditate than to simply read about experiments.

Do I even meditate in the dream state? You know, probably not a bad idea.

If you can’t solve your money problems after 8+ years of demon and money magick, then I don’t think you did it effectively enough. Demons, and money. I have realized today how things were previously set in motion for me, causing me to move forward on a path prepared long ago. This was not itself really a difficult thing for me to do. I had plenty of motivation, and still do. I don’t know what exactly it was, but at some point I gained the belief that it is possible for me to attain financial freedom and abundance with a lifestyle that I want to have. Really, how am I supposed to do that is the question to ask.

It’s all about the gold coin magick. I would say based on my largely past experiences, within the confines of my availability heuristic, most occultists are kind of mixed bags when it comes to their money magick. I think that where they end up with their practice isn’t so much due to these considerations of gold, silver, and copper coin magick but mostly “random” from their preferences and the knowledge they have access to and manage to find. The ones that end up with just gold coin energy seem to mostly do it as an occasional thing, but one that does bring significant results. They don’t like it enough to do it more often but when in need they don’t balk at doing some money magick. Others end up with more copper or silver coin energies, asking for small amounts more regularly but never really building anything or growing financially. It’s like being rich poor. It’s much better to be poor rich than it is to be rich poor. In the first one, you’re still rich.

Ah, but I digress.

But will my whole life become about money! : ) It tends to be the case that no, the money energies manifest where they are most effective and the rest of my life is free to do whatever. That’s what makes it a good idea to do lots of gold coin magick supplemented with silver and copper coins - you still get your spending money, but it’s mostly gold coins.

This, while enjoyable, unless it’s like you’re thing it’s probably better to just meditate with the Keys. There is no need to don the robes of subjugation to a power structure if you’re just wanting to do the practices. I probably take this more seriously than I take anything else, and I’m a pretty intense dude, clearly.

The nice thing about occultism and spirituality - not really any material stuff to have to concern yourself with. It’s all skill development and experience having, the parts that are about the occultism and spirituality. No networking, politics, anything of that nature. Only skill development, in its most purest form. I really fuckin enjoy skill development, and these skills are cool as all hell.

What a thing to have going on in your life - Loagaeth magick.

A dream in a bit, but first some other notes.

The mantras, or power words, or word activation method (something wordal) or whatever I’m thinking mainly do the one for the table that is currently being constructed. Perhaps always do this one as the entering into sleep practice. Then if other practices are being done the invocations can be used in various ways I would imagine.

It seems this really is the important point - you just have to really want it. There seems to be a very clear and direct link between my getting afteritness with dream practice and particularly dream memory recall and my performance in that activity. Speaking the words is a way of making clear that intention, and perhaps it goes without saying will get the juices flowing and make Loagaeth things happen.

With not even really practicing the magick, the practice is unburdened by the concerns of practical magick. It seems I have been sorting out how these energies are going to be manifesting in my life, and I believe this is a most agreeable setup. My dreams can be their own realm, full complete freedom to do as I wish, as my other magick covers material concerns.

I’ve come to appreciate a nap, but am still of the mind that getting all the sleeping done at once is the most long-term beneficial approach. I feel similarly about writing lines, 6 (12 rows) at a time. I’m putting this somewhere, and my eyes need time (with intentional practice) to not get fucked up. Cool dream magick, but you’d feel pretty stupid if you fucked your eyes up. The invocation should suffice for maintaining the energy connection, and I have found that even without doing that the connection remains, although likely much less strongly. The magick is a long road and it is what has been given to us.

Now, onto the dream.

Well first a nap dream then this dream from last night (pretty sure).

Upon reflecting upon the nap dream, I could trace the elements back to surrounding sensations that arose.

I was “playing” as a character, like one does in a video game. There was no other consideration in my mind other than that in this world this is me, and that is simply how it is, no subsequent thoughts about it. I was sitting in the back of a bus, operating covertly in a hostile environment. I had a camera, and took some photos of the bus. I looked out the back window and took a photo out the window towards the car behind us. I was then afraid of a violent response and shifted down beneath the seat. After a moment I sat more upright again and went on to think. I became aware of a variety of tools I had, accessible like the number keys 1-4. One was a disguise kit with hair styling options and hair dye. One was a melee weapon. Earlier, when I reached into my large jacket pocket for my camera, like reaching through robes, I knew a pistol was strapped just slightly below the camera, perhaps around the solar plexus. After withdrawing my hand, I reached back in to feel the gun, nervously I noticed. I did not see my gun in the 1-4 keys options, which appeared towards the bottom of my visual field in semi-transparent squares with rounded edges, perhaps slightly wider than tall. The thought then occurred to me to just reach my hand in and grab the gun. I didn’t do this as the situation would have been disrupted by that, but I had the thought. Then there was movements and another belonging to my organization in uniform was killed, I believe by gunfire, on the bus by others on the bus and was then taken off the bus. I considered what I could have done but didn’t want to reveal myself. Her body was hoisted onto the front window, a look of fear on her face, my perception of which changed towards the beginning of the hoist, where it looked dead, to when it shifted on the window, when it then looked afraid and somewhat alive. A moment later I woke up if I’m recalling correctly. Around there I thought that last bit with the body and the hoisting didn’t make too much sense. Towards the beginning there was also a narrator or internal commenting going on, sort of setting the scene and developing the character with self-dialogue.

In last night’s dream, I was in a familiar location, and upon taking a specific action an event was triggered - an attack by enemy soldiers on the location. After realizing this, another faction of soldiers appeared, apparently out from cover/concealment. I think something happened then but then I was back at the beginning of the dream, walking to the front door again, but this time I knew that the attack wouldn’t begin until I turned around. So, I walked backwards towards another room so I could move behind a wall, and then when I turned to go into that room the event (the attack) was triggered as expected. The soldiers present in my location were getting away from the doorways, it seems fearing grenades mainly. I moved over to the right, the environment very morphed in recollection, and went prone to get into position to fire out a hole towards the bottom and corner of the wall. Others around me were skittish. I found myself with a sniper rifle, and as I used the optic I began to have strong fear of getting shot. I fired, I believe hitting one (another had ran across my field of view from right to left towards the house) but I didn’t see him go down or get affected, and then desperately wanted to shoot more while experiencing strong fear. I fired a few shots as though the rifle were semi-auto capable (bolt action sniper rifle, presumably, with an odd optic) and then sensed that I got shot around the forehead I believe twice in quick succession. I then supposed that I was supposed to be dead as my field of external sensory experience was at first uninterrupted, then there were the shots hitting which felt like a knowing that it happened followed very closely by these “energetic” ripples around the location, and then a blurring out of my visual field. After a moment, I woke up. When the first attack began, I knew the faction of the attacking troops.

I believe that what I am seeing here is the development of ideas which have occurred to me previously. I imagined that being more of a thing that develops with intentional control in lucid dreams, but it seems that developments of this nature are still occurring even without lucid control in the dream.

It seems that’s the thing - you just have to really want it.


I don’t really know if it’s a bad idea to share notes on this, but I kinda just don’t give a shit.

Yesterday, I used a dream-sized journal in a different yet still magickal way. Upon the journal, I have inscribed the words from table 2, the earth table, partly with the intention to bring stability. The journal happens to be a green color.

The first page is titled Dream, and beneath it I wrote some sentences. I’ll leave it to you to imagine what those are, but the page has a feeling of “dream” to it, like the dream state itself, and it reminds me of my intention to achieve lucidity. Taking up two lines each, I have inscribed the angelic words and the demonic words at the bottom of the page, one row left at the very bottom to provide aesthetic good-lookingness. The Enochian looks so very strange compared to the English words, like an ancient carving inscribed upon this object.

I have also created other pages. The titles range from specific locations to more general situations or themes. The first of these, In Bed, I also inscribed the words upon last night. Also, for each inscription, I activated the words by speaking them with the table present, at the table upon which I construct the tables. Beneath the title, each on their own lines, I have written two words which I would like to be activated in association with the title, in this case, In Bed. In my dreams which I recall from last night, a relatively fuzzy night, three out of four were in bed, and all had the theme I was going for with the two association words which I have written on this page. A success?

Other page title examples include, as I believe all my readers must be aware of at this point, Military, another is Terrain. Terrain is also an association word on the Military page, alongside base, combat, and weapons, but I have also created a separate page with Terrain as the title. While terrain is an aspect of military situations dreams which I want to develop, terrain also speaks out to me as pure exploration. Sometimes, I feel that I will want to dream on terrain without including military elements, although I may have such thoughts in exploring the terrain around me.

There is also The Arena. When I consider The Arena in this context, what I think of is an arena in which to practice my sword fighting. While The Arena could be considered more abstractly, meaning constructed combat environments of all sorts, here with this page I know that my intention in activating it is to induce dreams of The Arena. This, eventually, will happen should I continue to effectively practice.

There may, perhaps, be other effects from these inscriptions and this book as well. What does it say about me, this dream journal of mine?

For instance, what of The Vault of the Well of Financial Energy, with its association words of gold coins, silver coins, and copper coins?

What of The Floating Cushion?

What of The Spring of Fire, contained deep in the recesses?

What of The Garden?

What of The Four Way Landscape of Water, with its association words an ocean, a fountain, a puddle, and a lake?

What about The Party?

Inscribing the words for table 2, an earth table, upon these pages and this notebook is fundamentally making a statement about what you are intending to do with that notebook and the pages therein. This notebook is now infused with Loagaeth energy, of an earth quality, both angelic and demonic. All three word groups which I have to this time inscribed I immediately activated by speaking them over the notebook with the table there present.

If you are mainly concerned with fun and games, the first words for each element, angelic and demonic, are likely sufficient for your purposes while doing what is done with magick and developing you into that energy. I would even say just the earth words would do you pretty well. If you make just one table, make the earth one, and then you will have planted down your first step into Loagaeth. There is perhaps nothing I see spirits do more than open the way to doing more magick with them.

I have also gotten the idea to meditate on a situation with the mantra “axo”, an Enochian letter combination I pronounce as AHHH-SHHH-OH. The ‘a’ symbolizes peace while the ‘o’ symbolizes power. I do not believe I sense any particular energy to that beyond Enochian. I believe it was in a dream where I received the idea, “axo, clarify my perceptions.”

This is related to the principles, which are derived from fundamentally how it is, considered in choosing association words (the above-mentioned ones). One word can contain so much, and this gives you specifically what you want while allowing a broad open-mindedness in your meditation. Perception is first cleared and calmed by peace, and then power in its most abstract form, tinged with Enochian energy, is considered alongside something else of your choosing. Regardless of whether or not this meditation produces an energy that is of a different quality or nature, being involved with Loagaeth practices instead of the Keys should make your experience more of a Loagaeth kind of experience.

That is for an axo meditation. In the pages with the association words, by choosing more fundamental words you are able to more freely practice with that page, making it more useful over time. Rather than becoming outdated and surpassed by a subsequent development, it retains utility as the concept-structures activated by the association words themselves develop as you practice this magick and have dreams.

But how potent is the method? This is a good question. In my one day of having it so far and my one dream session with it, the results seem to indicate that inscribing the words on the In Bed page caused dreams of the sort I had in mind that very night. Perhaps a similar thing could be done with just the page without the table itself present, and perhaps with just the words and imagining what you would imagine if you had the page before you. I suppose it’s possible to leave this notebook open beside the dream journal, so that it is seen in the midst of night. Perhaps results will not always be in such a majority - this could be a rather high percentage of dreams of the induction target, statistically speaking.

What I do know is that this practice represents connecting to Loagaeth energy far more frequently than is done in other sets of practices I have done. If there’s all this damn build-up, I can perhaps imagine the reward down the line should diligence remain with the practice.

Until next time, over and out.

Not to encourage bad studentry, but these are the words for Loagaeth table 2, the first earth table, if you want to try some of these practices. Write them in Enochian, left to right.

alla opnay quiemmah

zurebth aho aho lanfal cramza

What about the other elemental powers? I have some ideas, but they are still emerging. I am tempted to say that the true use of the words is only unlocked by using them both in combination, ideally after activating the table associated with the words.

Water seems too chaotic to inscribe on any more permanent object like a journal. If I were to put something in my wallet, for instance, I think I would do a water inscription. I don’t want my money to be stabilized where it’s at, I want it to change to bigger numbers. More coming in than going out, but bigger numbers all around. I’d stabilize something like my business, maybe elements of my lifestyle or standard of living, but as the saying goes money likes to flow. I am not entirely certain about this magick, but it seems reasonable if it remains connected to dream practice. I am thinking activate one group of words for one thing prior to going to sleep, perhaps persist with one object (an inscribed object like one of the notebook pages described in the previous post) or alternate back and forth that object and “Dream”-earth until a dream is produced. I haven’t activated water yet so this is entirely speculation.

Air and fire seem to be getting more into more outright “magickal” powers. I’d almost say just use air for mindfulness, but it’s probably appropriate to broadly consider the elemental powers as they are in Enochian along with other known elemental associations, such as with tarot.

At the end of the day though, can’t go wrong with earth wordsing the “dream” page. What I want to avoid is creating that feeling of forcing myself to make a bunch of magickal decisions every day. I make at most one magickal decision to influence my material life (one decision that I have to come to - the other decision is already made). Making a decision related to my dream practice intended to enhance and enrich my life through my dream life feels more enjoyable to me than making it into an outright practical magick manifestation process. I believe that the material is affected by these practices, given both the angelic and demonic words, but I am wary of falling into that mind state where fear takes over the magick rather than it remaining its own exploration into a new realm of magick and experience, and any material benefits which arise are just nice bonuses that the practitioner gets to have. I would even go so far as to say that, with this magick, to be aligned with this magick instead of fighting against it, one should seek to fulfill their desires via and in the dream state, not try to use the dream state to fulfill material desires. In fact, I’d say anything done in the material relating to this magick should be for the purpose of controlling experience in the dream state.

It seems a fundamental concept to accept with this magick is that these are dreams, so you are in control. I can control my dreams. You have to accept and believe that. It can take practice to refine and all that, but fundamentally, if this is a dream, then I am in control. Perhaps all this inscribing is just doing what mundane dream induction techniques would do.

Perhaps not.

I had a cool idea I thought. But, I don’t remember.

No recall, no dream magick!

Ah, after some re-reading, now I remember. Do you remember, if appropriate, when you were first learning about lucid dreaming, discovering the possibilities, maybe getting back into the practice, the excitement you felt about going to bed? I couldn’t wait to go to sleep and dream. This is a feeling one should seek to cultivate with this practice. Enjoying and living in the pleasure of the now moment, but looking to the future with positive expectations.

Want to travel the world, but broke as fuck? How about designing a dream world and then stabilizing it with Loagaeth magick? Would that fulfill at least some of your desire? I certainly still do financial magick, but all the money in the world can’t buy you a custom-made dream world, just how you want it to be. A travel buddy? How am I any more real to you than the characters in your dreams?

Meditate, yah fucks. I was gonna do 40 minutes today but I pumped out an hour. The breathe was so sharp today, my mindfulness so diligent, my peace increasing.

alla opnay quiemmah
zurebth aho aho lanfal cramza

1 Like

This magick’s pretty fucked up. If it’s not counterbalanced with some material-groundy magick it’ll probably make your material life into something that enables your dream activities.

That being said, the possibilities!

The mind seems much more capable than we may initially believe without making the attempt or having the right circumstances to make the attempt. If I asked you to generate some terrain, like rolling hills down from above, or some square area of a cityscape, if you can’t draw then you can’t represent that for me on paper or whatever, and if your visualization abilities are so-so then you can’t even represent it to yourself. In the dream state, however, visual acuity can be at least as good as waking life, probably depending on how much you pay the fuck attention to what is around you and consciously decide to make note of details instead of thinking useless thoughts.

With any skill, learning isn’t so much adding capacity directly as it is making things less cognitively effortful. The cognitive system, as it is sometimes called, is similar to computers in that there is only so much power that can be brought to bear in the conscious mind. Where the mind differs radically from computers, I would say, is in the capabilities of the subconscious, although I have begun to question some of my ideas I have generated so consider according to your own knowledge.

I am still in speculation land as my mindfulness is getting back in gear and my dream practice is becoming more diligent in the tearing away of what does not give pleasure if sought as a substance to fill a void better occupied by an activity, not a fuzzy mind state. Perhaps this goes to indicate the immensity of what may appear to be so trivial, or random, perhaps unimportant, even bland.

That being said, and at risk of repeating myself, the dream state offers the potential to observe and study the mind at work in ways that simply are not at all possible in the waking state. For someone like me, who gets way the fuck off on that kind of thing, the possibilities are tantalizing.

I remember I used to be so obsessed with influence and behavior. I can always be better, but now I give far less of a shit and just do it all automatically cause I’m just that good, until I discover (have discovered, heheh) the expanded possibilities that the knowledge provided by RotNS practice brings.

Now, aside from my life and the shit I love and hold dear other than this, I want to be obsessed with the dream state, and that is going to happen if you practice Loagaeth magick because these beings will make you into that. If you don’t want that, don’t do the magick. If all you want is to live a life of material pleasure and blank out when you sleep, or at most watch some films, maybe even have a lucid dream or two, then just summon some demony demons and go about your life of pleasure.

The mystery that occurs to me now is the seeming contradiction between totally off-the-wall dreams that are ultra magickal without any reasonable alternative and with no apparent karmic traces from the material to give rise to these elements in the dream, and the tendency for magickal forces to not always 100% dictate the dream environment. It seems clear to me that magick can and often does create dreams like it’s beaming into your mind directly, so what makes it the case that this doesn’t always happen? Perhaps this is a reflection of the limitations of material biology, and how the mind is rooted to and affected by material biology, and of the greater limitations of the material in general.

When I observe my dream life now, it is nowhere near what it used to be, which in summary was complete shit. The worst part about (I saw a therapist one time, it was ok) C-PTSD was (is?) the dreams. The occasional intense, intense emotional flashbacks and pre-buildup wasn’t a great fun and fuckin happy time, but it wasn’t as constant as dreams were, or would have been if I hadn’t turned off my REM sleep for a long time. Now, my dreams are nowhere near as just plain awful to experience, and I credit dream yoga visualizations for that absolutely, but I am still plagued by residues it seems of an entire life up to age 18 of inescapable pain, from around which point, slightly before that, I began to seize power, but I digress.

The solution to this problem is very probably meditation, given other things are no longer problems, which they largely are not because of my magickal prowess.

When I look back on the period of time around 2020-present, I will probably mostly see a stain upon my life, redeemed only by me getting much of my magick development done so that I know who I am, what I want, and how exactly I’m going to go about getting that. Magick is not to blame for any of my problems in this time, and indeed magick is the only thing that kept me standing, aside of course from my own personal power and tenacity, but magick has given me the clarity, a general pathway, I don’t remember the next one, all that.

Now that I’ve unfucked my magick, I’ve already become significantly more unfucked myself. What caused me to hold back, I suppose I know. Seeking knowledge and corruption, although amusingly enough if I’d just done this then the corruption would have been resolved. Sure am fuckin glad I’m done with all that, though, cause nothing makes me feel more potent and alive than this, and nothing gives me this crystal clarity like this.

Rather than fighting against my nature, I have harnessed my nature, and now I feel no constraints on who I am. People have tried. It hasn’t worked out too well for them, historically. I’m not re-reading this one.

The words are pronounced like this (if you follow my approach)


Not required, but not as anglo-phied as some of these bastardized pronunciations I’ve seen. In my opinion.

What a strange realm I have found myself in! Ah, the material. I remember.

Need a boost? How about a 16-pager.

It seems that this magick is unfolding a progress of insight into magickal dream construction. Dream construction in general, but with magickal energies also in the mix affecting things.

For a few days now I have focused on solidifying an original dream world. It’s got a title, an association word which describes much of the theme, a character, and a storyline theme. There have been shifts in my material life causing greater stability along these lines, but in dreams there have been limited results. To quote an image of this character, though, “Broken already? You didn’t even try!”

Tiger - Stripe! a brief interlude before continuing on

Pick a word, any word, and then beneath it write down any and all words that come to mind as you consider this word. The classical example is “Tiger”. Having done this, you have just created a map of your current cognitive structure in relation to this word. There are even ways to measure the strength of associations with things like reaction times, measured in milliseconds (and statistically significantly different). I say “current” as the cognitive structures in the mind are in constant flux, activating and decaying as stimuli are received and “processed” (under the current cognitive information processing model of the mind).

In my previous dreaming session, as this was a night-morning-noon kind of session, it was almost like my dreams were fucking with me. This is a thought I had upon awakening once, and going forward I think I will note such thoughts in my journal. There were points where a certain element (a thing) in the dream I could connect back to something in the previous day. So the thing itself didn’t manifest in the dream, but something associated with it did. There were some association manifestations that were quite the stretch, it seemed to me, being clear when I went to journal but surprising as the connection, in this example I’m thinking about involving a character, was just an aesthetic feature. I had an experience in which this feature had an emotional resonance with me during the waking day, and then this feature manifested in the form of this character I hadn’t thought about in a long time. Another character also appeared, not having this feature, but part of the same fictional world as the first character.

What this could perhaps be saying, I realize now as I elaborate upon it, is that the emotional aspect is an important part of being incorporated into dream construction. This character was seemingly nowhere near the surface of my mind, but perhaps through the complex web of activated ideas (or words) and the ensuing activations of the associated web of ideas branching off of each consciously activated idea, overall forming a pattern of activation in the cognitive structure which defies normal 3D visualization, this character became sufficiently activated, albeit purely subconsciously, to enter into the dream construction process.

This, indeed, is a mystery.

Given other dream events, it seems you really have to play the long-game with your dreams, at least until much greater skill in dream control (including always lucidity) is attained, and even then it seems to be that there would be benefits of this approach.

There seems to be a balance to be attained between overly narrowness and overly broadness. If too broad, then the most strongly activated elements will overpower the rest and be dominant in the dream experience. If too narrow, it seems that other things will still find their way in, so there wouldn’t be much control over that.

This is, again, mostly speculation, but beginning to be more rooted in experience.

Before MILDing throughout the day, it’s probably better to put energy towards filling in the mindfulness gaps.

As dreaming unfolds, I begin by speaking the Loagaeth words over the object, talisman, page, whatever, that is the subject of my focus. Upon each awakening after journaling, I speak the words in my mind while considering the subject of my focus with the intention to activate the magick, and I do feel the energy from doing this. Before arising for the day, I speak the words over the page again, and so the wheel turns from dreaming to waking.

Also, I just remembered, an element from the character manifested in another character in a dream. I wondered, is this the character manifesting?, but then knew that it was not.

1 Like

smile :slight_smile:

Recently I’ve been wondering to myself about what my personality flaw(s) are. I think I’m generally pretty cool, but I certainly see flaws in others, and I imagine there are some of those kickin around in here. I think it’s mainly my strong, intense desire to tell people when I think I know better, and probably my lack of giving a fuck beyond something’s ability to affect me, with some exceptions. It’s not agree to disagree, either I’m wrong or you’re a moron. How flawish is that though?

When I look to my future, almost certainly pretty much doing the magick and stuff I’m doing now for like let’s say 11 years, cause I gotta construct all these tables, I think wow, I’m gonna be so fuckin powerful and skilled with magick. That’s largely because I’ll be doing the same magick, the same systems and spirits, for a good bit, and continuing on from that when the time comes to switch to a more angelic state of mind, I know what I have to return to because I know my nature and I choose to harness my nature, cause it’s fun and I enjoy it. It’s better for me, it’s better for the people around me, better for those I care about, and most importantly, it’s better for me cause I spent enough of my life forced to live for someone else, and I say never again.

Certainly, there’s lots of cool magick out there that I can’t really fully appreciate because I’m not a member of some expensive and secret order, just this cult. So much more fun to be in the cult! I kinda don’t give a shit though cause I have everything I need with what comes rather naturally to me. If this knowledge was somehow taken from me I’d pay top fuckin dollar for the used copies on ebay cause now I can’t go back to how it was before.

What has changed for me? At some point, I noticed that all my pants are black. Back in the day I’d sometimes where green pants with a blue shirt and silvery sweater if I was feelin earthy, and that was pretty much the only exception. I have a red shirt I wore to parties sometimes. My pants were so tight back then, I basically wear pajamas everywhere now, and no one can stop me. What’re they gonna do, fire me? Hah! Get fucked!

I’m one to explore, but now I find it so much more enjoyable, and certainly more effective, to go deep.

Are demons not very appealing to you? Do you not want to have all your material desires fulfilled? Afraid to ask for what you really want? Do you not want archangelic and Shemish money angels opening the way while the demons scurry about? Witnessing what your creative mind can subconsciously create in the dream state? And this is my demonic state of mind, using all the tools at my disposal, calling upon the forces that will give me what I want and destroy anything and everything that blocks the way. Materially, so astoundingly simple, yet to my eye, so incredibly effective in all the ways that matter. Non-materially, complex enough (probably - I don’t even know what the fuck’s going on!) yet straightforward enough to maintain interest while not consuming all of my life. Spiritually, the peace, power, and good vibes that comes from meditation.

That’s something that I like about myself - my propensity for destruction. When the blockages and undesirables are destroyed, the soil is fertilized, and creation grows unobstructed, freely, without effort, and boosted by the nutrients of the destroyed. I would perhaps say it is in my nature to create, and so by learning and enacting destruction through my methodologies, I become what I want to be and my life circumstances follow suit.

That’s all there is to it. There’s no more theory to be worked out, or any such contemplations. Only the pleasure of living my life. Study and practice, eventually really put into practice. That is how it is materially for me because I have undergone the early stages that the spirits I summon take one through, to ready one and open the way for what follows.

I don’t know if I had too much of a point with that one, but I was feeling good, and this makes me feel good, and that is what I want my life to be.

I’ll admit, I was in a bit of a rageful mood today, however, my fear regarding summoning demons. I let it come, let it be, and then let it go. Nice thing about working out at home is you can do it like you want. I certainly appreciate a little avarice pumping through me life jet fuel (put it in, complete the mission, let it be done), but fundamentally, the only thing causing me to dwell in that state is ignorance. Whether intellectually, emotionally, or both, that is the only reason. Unless interacting with an enemy under specific circumstances, it is much better to be cold, come to a resolution of the underlying cause of the generation of rage, and then allow yourself to abide in the pleasure of your knowledge. I appreciate the avarice acting as a guide, but I do not want to live in that all the time, disrupting my mindfulness.

I’m gonna go meditate now. As I will, forever and for all time, every day with the occasional exception. See just because I have my personality back doesn’t mean I can’t be a mystic.

smile :slight_smile:

Parasites - destroy em all

Dead parasites means space for symbiotic things and relationships. There is always chaos ongoing, so dead parasites means the rest will flow in naturally.

Some notes on Loagaeth magick, financial magick, and psychopathy, in reverse order of importance but that order of frequency/time investment of practice

It now seems to me that the water words/power is used for procedurally generated things. If you want to stabilize a specific location, character, or realm/world (perhaps other things), then the earth words are the appropriate power. If you want to develop your ability to generate/create dreams of certain themes that have an aspect of randomness or that sort of thing to them, then the water words seem to be the appropriate power. If you choose to stabilize a location like The Concert Hall, where you always perform some music, I’m guessing you won’t always perform the same music, always, forever, every single time, but the focus here isn’t on the dream itself generating music but on the location where you like to perform music yourself. On the other hand, if you choose to apply the water words to The Magic Mushroom Forest cause you like exploring through magic mushroom forests, you are stabilizing this experience in your dream life, but the focus is on the chaos, creating novelty within this theme.

Turns out this vehicle does have a steering wheel! It’s been recorded, it does happen, but I haven’t seen people do it with Loagaeth magick. It is quite possible that the Loagaeth aspects are less important to the induction itself than the traditional induction practices (since like the 90s-ish or something), but I’m feeling some energy, and these dreams are not ordinary by any stretch of the imagination.

The idea about the water power came to me in a dream last night (the part you’ve all been waiting for). We were holed up in a tall building, apparently having survived some disaster event but in enemy-occupied territory of a named faction. I was hiding behind some blinds as I observed an observation camera/radio/device scanning the area. Two teenish kids looked out through an open window and were spotted. The enemy faction then sent in an attack helicopter to do a strafing run. I took cover in an adjacent room, behind a toilet, considering the merits of crouching (would the toilet act as cover at all to minigun rounds) or just laying down. Apparently this went on for several days. It then became known to me that we were running out of supplies (food) and would need to move out to search/scavenge soon. As I was looking through an adjacent room, I was notified that some central authority who presumably had previously denied us refuge was now offering this to us as we had something they wanted. I then saw several of the group with uniforms that were an image of a flag, I don’t believe related to this central authority. We had a large screen where the representative was calling in, and I approached and flipped her off. I then saw we had a camera but it seemed I wasn’t seen. Then, a General Kanhpeki began to speak, revealing he was indeed a general and not a Col, which he hadn’t been since he was 12 1/2. His father had always told him he could/should rise to the top, as at a certain point it’s mostly just Kanhpekis with a few others. He gave homage to the competence of his comrades there present, and they smiled. The non-military types were told to use their tools in such a fashion. I had in one hand a piston-type device, and the other a device which generated a flame. I was on a couch with others watching TV, and I mentioned that this episode was particularly good for its level design (this is where the water power insight came upon journaling). The group then was in a warehouse, and someone did something that caused an explosion (explosions! now that’s what I’m talking about). There was then a scene outside, snow-covered ground. There was one dead body, and then the camera saw another get shot, his body crumple and fall awkwardly down, blood leaking onto the white snow, just dead. I was then seeing from a character’s perspective, but with the sense that I was watching this character, not actually being this character. He had an AK and was receiving small arms fire from a good distance away, the infantry smaller than an outstretched thumb. He shuffled around a bit looking for cover, but ended up in a little dip that was not cover but he was prone. It seemed the enemy were focusing on him, perhaps having seen a muzzle flash (I could see muzzle flashes in the distance). Rounds were falling around him. He aimed for a second, then fidgeted some more, seeming afraid of this muzzle flash. I thought dude you gotta return fire. I then saw a round (not really a tracer, but I saw it) hit him, and the camera panned up and out as I on the couch said damn, I wanted to be the dude with the AK. Context-appropriate (post disaster, wintery, survival military, death mourning) music began to play, and I saw another character, who seemed to be me, approach the body and retrieve the weapon as portraits of the three dead appeared in the upper left. These portraits looked different than the characters in the scene, as though they were actors portraying true events.

As I spend time in contemplation of this, I believe this dream illustrates several different things one would apply the Loagaeth words to. Broadly, it is a narrative experience (setting aside the meta-ness for a moment), and one of a certain “genre.” It contains military-themed events, a system of logic and stuff that is procedurally generatable and follows a consistent set of internal rules. One could imagine applying the earth words to the title of this story and then dreams playing out the narrative occurring across multiple dreams. The quality of the internal elements to the narrative would depend on one’s ability, or should we say one’s subconscious mind’s ability (the warehouse), to procedurally generate such scenarios so that you don’t already know exactly what will happen and how things will be ahead of time, making for a more novel and re-playable experience.

What of the piston-device and the flame generator? Perhaps these are symbolic of the mechanism of the magick, the flame symbolizing active magickal power and also attention.

Contemplating the other elemental Loagaeth words, air and fire, perhaps these are more in the realm of magickal powers and the things associated with “hardcore” dream yoga, like the real Buddhist shit, whereas earth and water are more for the fun and games, cultivating experiences and the like. I cannot claim to yet know.

After making and acting upon the resolution to further accomplish dream yoga, I was immediately rewarded with dream sensory experiences of great beauty. In a dream, I became lucid, and flew up to climb atop a tree branch. I faltered a bit when my hands reached the branch, then thinking I could just lift myself up, but no, I will fly, I resolved. I could feel the hairy, furriness of the texture on the tree against the rough bark. The branch extended out into another environment - a body of water, shining crystal blue, with little islets of stacked stones with fountains of water spouting from each. As I flew towards this, I noticed that the fountains were not all identical, but were dependent on the structure of the stones of each islet and the opening they made for the water. As I approached, I could feel the gradations of humidity, and as I flew by one islet and felt the light misting of water upon my face, something I could only describe as pure wonder overcame me.

In the dream, I was also having some troubles with the flying controls, and I did get it to work, but I had flown more smoothly and seamlessly in past dreams and thought that it was largely a matter of strengthening the result I wanted (up, down, accelerate, etc) with the purely mental intention without needing an associated action like the superman pose or pushing a lever forward to increase speed, or kicking like in water to move forward because it is a dream, I am in control, and this is how things go in the dream state.

Waking up with this feeling of pure wonder, it is enough to motivate one to dive deeper and more earnestly pursue dream practice. In this example, to induce such dreams, the water words would be the choice if looking to create new landscapes of such a type, and the earth words would be the choice if looking to create a stable location that you can return to. The words seem more suitable for different things, especially given the loose and chaotic nature of the dream state, but there is some overlap.

My lunch has to digest before I can exercise and I hear people say my words so I guess I’ll do this. Nah actually I don’t really feel like typing that all up again.

I will say, though, that I find myself becoming less and less attached to experiences which my mind grasps onto from a place of desperation. When I know what I really want, I can either feel pain that it is not in my grasp, or I can make intentions to cause that to enter my life and take pleasure in what I do already have in my grasp. I can take pleasure in magick destroying parasites and helping me to know myself.

This unattachment also helps a lot when dealing with other people. The slightest mistake, one accidental wrong step, and now they hate you. I could, quite possibly, hate them back, and sometimes I think I do. I enjoy a good feast from time to time, but often it is simply tiresome. There is always the option of asking a meaningless favor. Either they say no and get to enact malice upon you in their perception, or they say yes and cognitive dissonance encourages them to feel positively towards you, and either way it doesn’t matter because it was a meaningless favor that is of no significance to you while holding great weight to the other person, so caught up in their thinking and egoic perceptions. Unless they are an out of control hate monster, people tend to like people more if they are pleasant to speak with, and unless you have a quality that triggers hate they have, just being familiar with someone often leads to higher desirability. Despite what they may say, people hate very easily and for the most inane of “reasons,” and they always seem to cry about it when their feeble malice enactment attempts don’t work out too well for them in the end.

That’s a point I return to again and again for myself. Having experienced the depths of being hated and then taking actions which cause a deepening of that hatred (in some cases, literally anything other than complete subservent obedient submission, including walking away), I have a much greater appreciation for the lack of that in a relationship. I could give others a fair warning not to fuck with me, but I find it is good to not let others see my hate as there is most always no benefit to doing that. I know that there are about three possibilities. You can respect and enjoy my presence, I do the same to you, and there are no further complications to this beyond mature rupture and repair relationship dynamics managed by two emotionally capable people with mutual respect, genuine desire for the other to not suffer. Alternatively, you can more or less ignore my presence, respecting it enough to not fuck with me, but generally avoiding me, and I will do the same to you as now you mean nothing to me as that is what you have chosen, with some small amount of respect due for not fucking with me. Alternatively, you can hate me, inevitably act against me, and reap the rotten fruits of your own actions. Weak enemies so often give me sustenance, while I do not return this favor. They remain in a hell loop of infinite cycling hatred, propagating, spreading, infecting their minds and corrupting everything in their life before long, while I feed in delight. This is what makes me not want to show my hate. I don’t particularly give a fuck if someone jacks themselves off to the thought of me hating them, but I will not give them the nourishment of my energy.

But if I hate, doesn’t that mean I’m weak and afraid? Oh, but perhaps not so. I have no problem with admitting that I can become afraid, as all who claim otherwise are either feeble white-washed RHP types who are probably delusional or liars. My weakness, however, evolves from fear into an altogether entirely different emotion, and this in turn evolves into an altogether entirely different emotion, compelling my behavior and changing my thoughts before it is dissolved in my concentration, and all that remains is the cold and my pleasure.

I don’t care if this doesn’t apply to the narcissists. Find your own blogger. Not to attach myself to this notion of an in-group out-group, but I have chosen my side. I like the term psychopath more than antisocial as I am not against any and all social structures and activities and I do not sabotage all of such in my life. The term was probably coined by academics who haven’t a clue what they’re talking about. I’ve seen some pretty mediocre academics, indeed thesis-scribblers too incompetent to make real significant academic achievements or to do anything else outside the careful confines of the tracks they’ve been on their entire life. Perhaps they didn’t get enough participation trophies as a child. I wish I would have gotten more love as a child, any love at all really, but I can only be grateful that I have the tools to destroy parasites, free myself, and cultivate respectful and loving relationships with that sliver of humanity that comes into my life that isn’t frankly a disappointment, or I believe better said, a pathetic excuse for who they are and perhaps even a waste of the potential of human life. If it seems like a tall order, it really is not, and that speaks more to the ignorance of many than to the minimal decency that some seem to have.

When you become godlike, it’s like walking through a cat/dog/whatever park. Some of the cat/dogs opened their third eyes, gained the ability to read, and thoroughly squandered it. Almost certainly because of ego and lack of self-awareness. The nice thing about dream characters is that you can create one who is genuinely good to you, not a doormat, and this is good because the dream state is where I intend to spend a great deal of time. It is also good that the material is of the nature of the dream state, so that I may enjoy the pleasures of both worlds.

I think how you take that statement says much about how godlike you really are. I love this shit.

This world is populated by people like me who will tear you apart. Nature didn’t select me, I selected myself, by harnessing my nature. Be greedy, be hungry, outearn, subjugate, and conquer the less capable, less intelligent, less ambitious, less lucky, to make your dreams come true. Some say it is lonely at the top. I would say they have inadequately deployed their godlike power. I pretty much hate everyone who tries to shame me, so this is not that. I do not judge the respectful, as a rule.

Black magick and the left hand path, or should we start giving out participation trophies to the decades-long meditators who can’t even fucking access the first concentration jhana?

1 Like

A titan steals fire and gets his liver eaten every day for punishment.

Another picks the wrong side in a war and has to hold the world on his shoulders for all time.

King tells a secret, and has to push a rock up a hill for his trouble.

Now these are the words of titans.

It’s said that one is to become a living god because there is the becoming, the actions that make it happen. Yeah I got all this wisdom, like a real wisdom king with my black magick. All I can do is smile. I am so tired. But I know, and so I move with ease. The ending remains true to the archetype. It is a delight to know the standards to which I measure myself by and the heights to which I know I may attain, not because of anyone else, so weak a person that would be, but because for every step that there is I have the chance to receive pleasure, and the greatest curse would be that there were no more steps to take.