This is long af.
I’m new to this place. I’v been into the occult (both theory and practice) for about a year or so but have had strange experiences before i even knew anything about this stuff ( since childhood). One dream in particular when i was a child is etched into my mind and when I meditate on it sometimes it feels more real than real. The short of it, I was probably 6 or 7 and I felt a tremendously frightening energy in my house, and I remember going around the place but without a body and feeling like I was being chased by something right behind my head(even though i didnt have a head, it was strange af), then my mom opened the door to my room *I could percieve all the rooms in my house simultaneously like I was everywhere at once.) and I felt an incredibly evil presence form her at the time. The bathroom light turned on by itself and then next I knew It was morning. Two days later a priest came to bless the house ( I didn’t really know why at the time) and my mom never told me why. She was never religious but we were raised Orthodox. ( I’m Romanian ).
I’ve always felt drawn to a sort of foreign energy that I wasn’t even aware of until i started meditating quite regularly and being aware of my own thoughts and energy. Over the past few months I’ve been reading, meditating a lot on many aspects of the occult, Jung etc. I came across the various 72 demons of the goetia. The sigils struck me.
Initially when I saw one it sort of “stung” and I could feel an electrical surge through my eyes coalescing to the front of my forehead(but inside my head, if that makes sense). This happened before i even knew what they represented, the sigils seered into my minds eye usually before falling asleep.
Anyways, I had a similar dream that I had as a child a few weeks ago. I only remember two scenes in it. A lion head statue carved in stone with flames around the side, in a smiling gesture it looked like a dragon mixed with a lion. It wasn’t scary, I felt a tremendous power and grace to it, . And then suddenly the atmosphere shifted and I felt the same sort of presence of dread as I did as a child. Then the next scene is of a tall thin man with wide shoulders wearing a brown coat standing on the stairwell of my house, his face was hidden in darkness. He looked more like a window dummy, tall, creepy af. I could feel the same sort of energy around him as i did around the lion statue mixed with dread.
I started looking at the sigils of various demons, after meditating, I could feel i was communicating with them and I could feel a small flicker of my own energies shifting inside me, just today actually which is why Im writing this. With Asmodeus I could feel my energy concentrated in lower stomach area, four fingers below the belly button. This is known as the dantian in eastern traditions. I could feel it go down from the front of my body to my groin and up the back of my spine. Incredible sexual energy. Like lust off the charts. Just raw carnal grounded energy. I have strong will power but this seemed almost uncontrollable. Also an incredible authority and groundedness.
For reasons, I’ve felt drawn to Asmodeus after learning about him. Belial and Sitri too, but no were near as much. Sitri sigil was interesting, i could feel the energy sort of right above the belly button. I think in chakra terms this is related to creativity, spontaneity and charisma. Belial energy was right below the solar plex, strong acute energy and a huge boost of confidence and will.
Sitri and I dont really jive, I could feel an incredible charismatic, elegant energy from him but he just seemed pretentious and manipulative for some reason. in any case, i could feel he didn’t want to work with me either.
I was relatively drawn to Belial, he seems very helpful and caring. I feel like Asmodeus is calling me. He wants to work with me.
Given my past dreams, would it be wise?
