I felt earlier that I should be less concerned with Raphael’s Qualities and evoke him for a chat. I “knew” I should do this for days, but have resisted because it isn’t in the format I expected to follow with the book. Guess it’s one of those times I should listen more and think less.
I began my evocation process and knew he was already close by.
R: Why do you plan for an evocation, when you know I’m already here? We’ve met. You know me (signature).
M: To better prepare myself for the conversation. What do you wish from me?
R: I don’t. You called me.
(Was this some joke, a riddle? I tried to think of when this happened. I couldn’t)
M: I don’t remember doing this.
R: When does the ritual start? I’ve been waiting.
M: I didn’t feel like the Qualities were what I was supposed to work with you for (first).
R: There is a working first. On you. Allow me to (do the working).
M: What is it? (My mistrust was kicking in. Ariel came into the area).
A: Allow him to. You’re still broken.
M: I expect to be. Hard lessons leave scars.
A: To get back part of what was taken from you.
M: I consent.
(I felt things being done in my head and chest, but can’t describe it. When it was done, I felt light-headed and nauseated).
R: There. That will start the process. I’ll do more tonight when you’re not resisting as much.
M: Thanks, I think.
R: Don’t make the same mistakes that got you into this position. It can be redone.
They left.
He’s referring to whatever illness I came down with after the War. I fought the VA for ten years and the only thing they could figure out was that it wasn’t in my head, but didn’t have enough to diagnose it.
I was left with it hurting to breathe and unable to walk to the mailbox without almost fainting. I’ve crawled my way back on my own ever since, but I’m a shade of my former physical self.
I found out last year from Lucifer, Belial, and Hecate that this was done to prevent me from just going back to War until I pressed my luck one too many times. That’s what he was referring to.
So, I guess I’ll see how things go from here.