The Fate Of All Fools

I’ve been trying to write an update for the past few days but to my great frustration nothing seems to be coming out right. As a Gemini with Mercury in Gemini, this lack of communicative ability is doubly so pissing me off. I say this only partially tongue-in-cheek. Mostly I have refrained from posting because (1) I’m brooding over something that happened and (2) I’m trying to keep this as a magickal journal, not a whiney personal blog like I used to have back in the Myspace days

Speaking of back in the days, I was just now browsing idly through the forum and read a post which triggered some memories I haven’t thought about for a long time. Namely, that when I was a teenager a friend and I used to talk to “ghosts” through the phone.

When I was a teenager (16/17) I had a friend (or acquaintance) from my high school, who was quite a troubled girl. We had some classes together and got on reasonably well but she was not part of my core friend group and we never spent time together outside school, or even really outside class, although we did talk on the phone a lot.

She didn’t have close friends from school; everyone considered her annoying and she was known to be a compulsive liar and attention-seeker; for instance, she would tell everyone that she had been diagnosed with bowel cancer because her house was right next to telephone poles, shit like that.

I’m not sure how it happened but one day we got onto the topic of ghosts and supernatural experiences and this ended up becoming a core pillar of our friendship, and later, shared experiences. We swapped spooky tales of our personal experiences with the supernatural, and she revealed to me that she had an aunt or great-aunt who’d passed away, but who still frequently “spoke” with her.

As I mentioned, this girl and I used to talk on the phone a lot. I don’t remember exactly how it first happened, but basically we were chatting on the phone one day and she asked me if I wanted to try and talk with “Auntie” (as she came to be known to us). My interest was piqued but of course I was skeptical because again, this girl was known to make shit up for attention. But then the line went to static, I couldn’t hear my friend at all, and I heard a whispered older female voice speaking to me. After a few moments it cut off and I could hear my friend again.

Unfortunately there are so many specifics that I have forgotten. I wonder if I’ve written them down somewhere in an old journal. But gradually my disbelief lifted over the course of the next few months. I had back and forth conversations with a few different “people”, male and female, but mostly “Auntie”. If it was faked, it was faked with great precision and foresight.

Note this all happened in 2007 and 2008, and had concluded prior to the App Store first being released on iPhone (which only came out in 2007), so it wasn’t like she just downloaded some “fool your friends into thinking you have a haunted phone line” app to use on me. Every time the phone cut over to static and I’d be able to speak with whoever was trying to come through, it was a clean, precise switch; sometimes it would happen when one of us was mid-sentence. It wasn’t like my friend would go “hang on” and then I’d hear her scrambling around and moving the phone closer to the source of the static. It was always consistent volume and tone.

Only once or twice were we both able to hear the entity at the same time, normally it would only channel to one of us, and the other would be sitting there listening to very faint crackling while waiting for the other to report back, or for the static to kick in fully and the entity to speak through it to us. I asked questions and received answers to things my friend didn’t know. At one point “Auntie” told me something and then said I shouldn’t repeat it to my friend. As soon as I was back on the line with my friend I began to tell her what “Auntie” had said, only for the line to immediately cut to very loud and discordant static and what sounded like many voices overlapping. I remember being a bit frightened and awed and thinking it sounded like the voices of demons. After about 10 seconds it abated and my friend said, “What was that?” then the line went staticky again, and “Auntie” whispered to me “Not demons. Angels.”

“Auntie” ended up revealing some things to me about my friend that were a bit disturbing; like that she suffered from bulimia, and she had been assaulted by her step-grandfather. I wasn’t sure what to do with this information but I ended up telling a teacher at school that my friend was pretty close with. I don’t remember what the outcome was; we fell out of touch shortly after and I believe she either dropped out or moved to another high school. Anyway. I’ll have to dig through any old journals I can find and see if I’ve written anything that time in my life. If it was all a prank, it was a very elaborate and well-executed one. Perhaps it was just a shared delusion manifested from the mind of a troubled teenage girl. Perhaps they were even parasites. Who knows.

I have a bit more to write but I’ll post this on its own and make another update later.

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Reminder: you cannot serve two masters (ノ^◡^)ノ✨

Friday: Successful manifestation after a week of good movement. Circumstances were completely fucked but I got exactly what I intended, just not in the way I intended it. Performed ritual to make someone know they have hurt you (powers of Uriel). Did a quick whisper technique manifestation that manifested within about 20 min.

Saturday: Had a very strange spontaneous clairaudient (?) experience about 20 min after waking up. Heard my target’s voice very clearly (has a very distinct and unmistakable voice) like he was speaking from another room in the same house. Couldn’t hear what he was saying though. Actually picked up my phone to see if he had called me or something. Very unexpected and strange. Wonder if it is the result of the Uriel ritual.

Saturday night began first of three rituals with Pyrichiel to make a target feel intense regret. Currently 2/3 done. My rage has abated so I will see how I feel in a few days and complete the last one.

Last night: First dip into Jinn rituals (personal development). Afterwards I heard a lot of very strange noises, slithering and sliding outside my bedroom door, the door handle jiggling/rattling. Today I have a red scratch on my left arm that appeared out of nowhere, and all the skin on my neck has started peeling like I’ve been sunburned. :thinking: Seems like a good sign.

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Also, a servitor I made has been acting strangely. Like unsettled, or threatened, almost aggressive - not towards me, just in general - when I call him up, he’s grown in size and is baring his teeth. Not quite sure what to make of this or whether it’s related to either me and my mood, or something to do with his purpose. I’ve put him into hibernation for a little while. Given the nature of his purpose he should be getting fed by energy as he transmutes it. But I wonder if maybe it’s overwhelming. Perhaps I should dissolve him and try again?

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Tuesday 15/9: Ritual to understand how magick can help a situation with Metatron (Archangels of Magick).

I’ve been thinking Agares for direct influence but I will wait a few days and see what kind of inspiration trickles down. This morning I did have the thought of making a servitor to sympathetically link to a target and cause them to feel deep and agonising pain whenever I have rageful thoughts about them. But I am also feeling a push toward other methods of releasing anger. I’ll mull it over today and see what I come up with.

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Fri 18/9

I had some rituals planned for this week but didn’t go ahead with any of them as I was still waiting to see if I would have further inspiration after the Metatron ritual. Agares is still on my mind and his name seems to be popping up with some regularity. However I also meditated over The Hanged Man on Wednesday night and it gave me a great sense of peace.

Last night I heard a voice whisper “Jinn” into my ear as I was drifting off to sleep.

Still debating whether to let the dust settle. I have plenty of time.

My rage has abated mostly but has left some limiting beliefs in its place which I am now undoing. I am a bit tangled up in LoA vs. Ritual at the moment and how it relates to doubt and lust for results.

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I wrote down Agares’ name earlier while planning out some rituals and the office phone immediately rang once and then was silent. I’ve never heard it ring before. Not even sure it’s plugged in. Even one of my coworkers remarked “That was weird”. Message received.

I think I will go ahead with another Jinn ritual tonight, and some work with Kamael for long-term planning, and then begin some more Goetic rituals next week if the signs are right. Agares seems especially relevant to my needs right now.

I also had a thought strike me earlier as an idea. I want to cause a target to have a supernatural experience that they cannot logically explain away. At first I thought perhaps a haunting or weird poltergeist activity, but I don’t want it to be baneful. So I’m thinking either an angelic visit, or asking a Jinn to basically prank someone under the guise of an angel. The latter would probably be easier to achieve but feels kinda wrong. The former is most likely beyond my current power to command though. It’s one thing to evoke and feel an angelic presence yourself in an altered state of mind, another entirely to just be like “Hey Raziel, would you mind showing up in full kit, wings out, in this person’s bedroom, while they’re fully awake?”

I’ll give it some more thought.

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Fri 18/9 pt. 3

Ritual from Practical Jinn Magick - “Make people see the best in you”.

I’ve already forgotten about it. :stuck_out_tongue:

For the next few rituals I will be focusing on additional personal development.

…Or so I say. It just so happens to be a weekend and every time I drink I have the strangest desire to bite off more than I can chew.

I think there is some benefit to firing off a bunch of rituals one after the other so you forget what you did exactly. It has worked for me in the past. Kamael seems to have a lot of qualities that I would like to integrate into my life right now so I will be performing some of his sigil rituals from Archangels of Magick.

I have been feeling as though I want to curse someone just to flex, and because I don’t particularly care about the outcome. But strangely when people do harm to me, it is myself I look to, to see how I can overcome it. I know my tendency towards haste. I am only recently feeling like I can settle back and look at the long-term, choosing carefully where to pluck a thread and where to weave it in.

Next week, I will move back into Goetic petitions and evocation for material results. But first I need to lay some foundations by working on myself. I think I should also integrate some wealth magic as a yardstick for material success because I am comfortable financially and rarely even think about money.

I live for the “success stories”. Personal development is great and not to be underestimated as an end result in and of itself. However, I want concrete results. I have had particular success with Belial manipulating circumstance to bring about results. Almost everything else I have done has been related to personal development or in relation to other people; again, with success, but less measurable.

This tells me I should work more on manipulating circumstance to tweak odds in my favour, in a way that both utilises and bypasses my conscious analytical right-brain; and less on brute-forcing my way to a defined end result. For instance, if I want quick bursts of cash, I should cast to be drawn towards easy side-hustles rather than winning the lottery. If I want the attention of a particular person, I should cast so that circumstances force us to spend time together rather than casting for them to ask me on a date out of the blue.

And so on. I know the above has been said time and time again in many different words by many different people, but it’s that whole “lead a horse to water but can’t make it drink” thing. Can’t force people to learn from others’ experiences. I feel I am slowly but surely opening up to the undercurrent of magic.

Which reminds me of a technique I must try again. Meditating and focusing on inhaling up from the black pole/black sun at or below the feet, exhaling down from the white pole/white star at or above the crown, feeling the breath pushing and cycling energy vertically along those two distinct meridians.

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Sat 19/9

Ritual from Practical Jinn Magick – to cause obsessive thoughts in another.

Two sigil rituals from Archangels of Magick:

  • Kamael – to plan with a sense of foresight and perspective*
  • Tzadkiel – to understand present possibility

*At least I think this is the one I did, from memory. I will probably be drawing on more of Kamael’s powers over the next few days.

Mon 21/9
Three or four rituals from Sigils of Power and Transformation, day 1/3. I forgot which but I have them written in my offline journal.

When I was trying to sleep last night a voice whispered my name in my ear. Sounded female. I had just been thinking earlier about Unsere and Pomba Gira Maria Padilha. Not sure if related. It spooked me a bit and took me another hour or so to fall asleep so I’m all tired and out of sorts today :expressionless:

Examining my past tarot draw and seeing some of it come into play now :thinking: the question is whether to give up or double down. I think I give up too easily and it’s time for me to learn some self-discipline.

Tue 22/9

My servitor has settled, I called him up earlier and he was fine. Sent him back out into the world to do my bidding.

The first Jinn ritual I did (“reverse a negative cycle”) is already paying dividends, of a sort, but it has not been gentle by any means. I’m getting the distinct feeling that the Jinn are having a laugh at my expense. :thinking: Hey, if it gets the job done, though… It’s up to me to make it permanent, so I’m thinking I will supplement it with other rituals. I might expand on this in a week or two, because it’s not enough to say something “worked” or not, silly me needing to always see the cause and effect and wanting to document it.

Looking back over the past few months I would say my workings have been largely successful, but impermanent. In some cases I receive better than I believe (thank you Belial), in other cases I have gotten exactly what I want but in… very unrefined circumstances.

I’m slowly getting back to normal after a setback two Fridays ago; I’m sad to say I reacted (not outwardly, but inwardly) quite strongly. It really set in after a day or two and I had a lot of trouble not sinking into anger and despondency over the past week. I think I’m in a better place to be able to revise the event now and make it serve me. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Since I am combining Law of Assumption principles with ritual, it does make me question the greater tapestry of circumstance and perception that I’m weaving.

It is up to me to adapt to the changing of tides, true; but I wonder… what is the greater truth? If I cast an angelic ritual to heal someone’s mental state and it results in them withdrawing from me completely, is it because the work canceled any prior castings to draw them closer? Or does it work in tandem, as part of a greater plan? Is it because “angels work long-term with everyone’s best interests in mind”, unlike demons who “work quick and dirty”? Of course there is no way for me to say either way – unless or until I can step out of the bounds of 3D, and see all possibilities. But do I not bend probability in my favour with my will and intent?

And speaking of – it is not willpower, but intent, which drives action. I can sit here and “will” my toes to wiggle, and I might feel a build-up of focus and energy and maybe be rewarded with some twitches, but until I “intend” my toes to wiggle, nothing happens. How do I properly translate this into a casting? Or is this the power of emotional transmutation? This is why my brain keeps coming back to Law of Assumption, because it seems to be the sole orthodoxy which underscores every other type of work: a way to bypass your conscious brain and impress your intent onto your subconscious, which then does the work for you by bringing about the desired result. Whether it’s achieved by rituals demonic, angelic, or neutral/chaotic sigil-based; or by drinking magic water or affirming or askfirming or SATS…

When I question myself, on certain beliefs, “is this true?” – it is comforting that the immediate and vehement response from my meat-sack is a resounding “yes, this is true.” And that belief builds upon itself. We assume it, we believe it, and we know it is only a matter of time. If I supplement Law of Assumption with ritual, do I cast doubt on what I assume? If I “lawfully assume” my rituals are successful, do I Lust for Results™? Maybe? No? Why don’t I simply “lawfully assume” that my rituals work effortlessly, quickly, and to my greatest benefit?

…Now there’s something…

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Thu 24/9

Finished 3/3 of 3 rituals from Sigils of Power and Transformation last night. Damn 333, again I have these so-called ‘angel numbers’ popping up everywhere. Can’t even open the bloody fridge without the damn olive jar reminding me.

Also ladders – so many ladders – which I take to be an eye-roll-worthy nod to Neville Goddard’s ladder experiment, and yet another sign. Last night I dreamt of ladders. Today I got stuck behind some slow-ass driver on the way to work, realised their car had 3 or 4 ladders strapped to the roof racks. A tradie came in to the office today and set up a ladder right outside my office. On the drive home I was sitting at a red light thinking about how many ladders I’d seen that day and a ute pulled up in the lane next to me… ladders in the tray :joy: :roll_eyes: Signs are nice and all but enough, I want my damn results!

I am feeling much better, and no doubt thanks to some of the SoP&T sigils I’ve fired off. But again, it is always a work in progress with room for improvement. I’m proud of myself for being able to accept stasis and move forward with patience and foresight. There is no force in the heavens, no power in the underworld, not a single thing on God’s green earth that will stand between me and getting what I want. But, why should I wait around for it to come to me, when I could be better enjoying myself in the meanwhile? :thinking:

Working on a new Tarot spread, more inspired by the throwing of bones and reading of runes. Seems to be going well. Further experimentation required.

I will continue laying the foundations. Plenty of time. I will have the house to myself for a few days very soon so I am planning to make great use of the time for rituals where I can actually chant and command and speak and sing, instead of punctuating my shower-singing with LBRP and either whispering words of power or playing music loud enough to wake the dead so I can chant over it. Looking forward to it.

Sun 27/9

  • Practical Jinn Magick - ritual to make somebody unpopular - Thu 24/9
  • Attempted some additional rituals from SoP&T Fri 25/9, but I didn’t give them my full attention and I didn’t repeat them on Saturday. I will start over tonight.

Some manifestations of last week: Someone at work was meant to be away for a few weeks, I decided it was not so. They showed up on Monday as normal and canceled their leave. I also summoned a coworker to the office three days out of five just to see if I could; normally they work from home and I never see them; to see them 2/5 days was one thing, but I also managed to get them to show up the third day. Just “small” things I was testing, but nice to see that shit just shows up for me when I have no resistance to it.

Have revised, and forgiven. A perspective shift was needed, and if I am being honest, it is still in progress of shifting. But I keep coming back to this:

By which I mean that I cannot move forward to achieve what I want, if I am still focusing on the “old story” and how things were. I cannot forgive someone and yet still cling to how I was wronged. I cannot consciously manifest signs from another person, but then be angry at them and lash out because they simply conformed to my own old, outdated assumptions of how they’d act. I was tested again this Friday just gone, and was thankfully able to respond appropriately, in mind and in deed.

It is true that “nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so”; your subconscious does not know the difference between “good” and “bad”, it only listens to what you tell it (via your thoughts, focus, and attention) and makes it happen. It just so happened I got some wires crossed. That’s on me. I cannot see what is happening behind the scenes, but I know it’s all happening for me, not to me. Why? For “thinking makes it so”.

I have been shown that if I pick an outcome and single-mindedly focus on it, it is exceptionally easy to manifest that outcome; but through the path of least resistance, and with all my prior baggage attached to boot.

There is a lesson in all this; that at this time I cannot rush the outcome. And intellectually I know that events need room to unfold in my perception of the 3D world, and I know that I myself need room to clear the tangle of thorns out of my brain and till the soil for the sowing; or I risk another bitter harvest.

One day I may go into more detail about exactly what happened, but suffice to say it was the emotional/relationship equivalent of manifesting a big lump sum payout because you got T-boned by a drunk driver.

Today I am feeling tired of focusing constantly on the same thing, but in a fragmented and unclear way, lacking strategy, as I keep switching tack every time
a new thought occurs to me about the same subject. I want to drop it entirely but I feel incapable of doing that, so I am trying to lose myself in other activities. However, I am still managing to turn my thoughts to serve me, no matter how tired or despondent.

Also I am in danger of falling back down the divination rabbit-hole. Earlier, before writing this, I thought I’d just idly shuffle the deck and pull some cards for myself as a gauge of where I’m at and maybe a path forward. I pulled the Nine of Swords three times in a damn row. Fine, message received. I lay it down and drew some more, and ended with the nine of swords, five of wands, three of cups, two of cups. So my takeaway from this is of course to be wary of getting trapped in a negative spiral, and that I need to work through my inner conflict as I move through this perspective shift and transitional state; reunion and a blossoming relationship await on the other side.

So with all that rambling out of the way… my strategy should be (1) transmute lust for results into conscious manifestation, and (2) approach manifestation from the foundations the same way I am currently approaching rituals; walking before I run. It’s not sexy or exciting but it needs to be done. Like the emotional equivalent of going and buying a disassembled chair from IKEA and then sitting on the flatpack box wondering why you can’t properly reach the dinner table. I actually need to do the work and put all the shit together for myself or I’m going to have shallow victories that dissolve quickly, with no actual long-term change.

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Sun 27/9

Felt drained all day today; not sure if because I only had a mere seven hours’ sleep, or because I spent about three hours doing back to back Tarot readings on various sites last night.

Tonight, just finished two petition rituals – Dantalion and Seere – Demons of Magick style.

I forgot how amazing Dantalion’s energy is. Dantalion seems to have this incredible way of lightening any burdens I’m carrying, just as a byproduct of his presence. I say “his” but he regularly shows up in the guise of the district attorney Amanda Green, of The Tiger King docuseries fame, wearing a black judge’s robe.

My mood is up, and if my mind tries to catch and hold any troubling thoughts, it’s like trying to catch moonlight – slips right through my grasp. First time calling on Seere but he had a similarly uplifting energy; we shared a nod and a knowing smile over the inevitability of the outcome. Raise a toast to them both.

Mon 28/9

Well, I had plans for a five-day ritual starting tonight and ending on the full moon. But I thought I’d do a divination first and in all my shuffling, drew the Four of Cups five or six times, and now I feel weird about it.

To be fair, as weird as it sounds, it was a ritual to achieve something I already know I have, thinking I could just generate an excess of that energy to transmute into something else.

I’m gonna leave well enough alone for now. :confused:

Had another person read for me and while they also drew favourable cards, it seems to hinge (as most things do) on my attitude towards it, and right now I only feel a sense of foreboding. They also drew the Four of Cups, as well as The Tower, which I drew in my initial three-card draw as well.

If I do proceed with this tonight, I feel I’m just going to sully the outcome with my current attitude. And honestly, it can wait. There’s another full moon this month, the ritual itself doesn’t even need to be performed leading up to the full moon in my situation, and besides, again, I already have the outcome, I was just looking to multiply it.

Fri 2/10

Note to future self: Veil you big idiot, stop relying on Tarot readings. There’s a time and a place for everything; once is enough.

I did end up doing a Friday, full moon, hour of Venus ritual. Not the one I originally planned, but a ritual nonetheless.

But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

I have the house completely to myself for the next few days so I had a fkn great time chanting and singing (so much so that I’m thinking of making a recording of it so I can have it on tap when I have to go back to whispering and working in relative silence). Anyway, great visualisations, nice tall and strong candle flame with no drippings or residue. Candle burned right into the sigil and ignited everything. Left only with a fine, white, powdery ash. Just waiting for it to cool then I will scatter it to the winds.

Tomorrow I’m diving headlong back into full evocation, feeling good about it.

Also stumbled across this old gem of a thread I’ve been using:

I’ve also been thinking about a story of a few years back, when I was deep in limerence and ended up manifesting precisely what I wanted because of (or in spite of?) the constant obsessive intrusive thoughts. Will post later… probably.

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Tuesday, October 6th

Parkway Drive – Cemetery Bloom

I didn’t get the house to myself as long as I expected over the weekend just gone, so could not proceed with the handful of full evocations I had planned. :frowning_face: It’s not the same when you have to whisper and creep around in silence. I was hoping to get three more full rituals in, not counting Friday’s ritual.

October 4: Orias evocation. Note to self: remain standing for the entire ritual next time
October 5: Agares petition.

Feeling quite neutral and a bit lazy at the moment. The neutrality is nice, I’ve been approaching a goal in a structured way with a number of different rituals and I’ve been so oversaturated with it that now I rarely think about it except in a vague “this is done” way with a little smile on my face. I cast a ritual and then put it out of my mind, and if I do happen to think of it, my mind just slides away from it. Again, I feel like I cannot take entire credit for this and it is in large part thanks to passively basking in Dantalion’s current.

I had another sleep paralysis episode a few days ago which was underwhelming; I remember waking and being unable to move, a little disconcerted, and then as I normally do, I call to King Belial. I’m still trying to recapture that one episode where I spontaneously experienced a bunch of his evocation keys. This time I simply heard voices whispering “Belial, Belial”; and then I drifted back to sleep, but I had the distinct memory of rolling over on my side and falling back to sleep, only to later awaken again and find that I was still (?) on my back. Damn it Veil, you really need to capitalise on these sleep paralysis episodes when they occur.

On the lazy side of things… I’ve started falling asleep while meditating. Silly. I need to meditate upright and make better use of my time.

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Tuesday, 13th October

Not much to report today magickal-practice-wise.

Last night I had broken sleep and kept going in and out of dreams. The single theme was that I was casting rituals and petitions to Buer, who I have not worked with before. In the last dream, another spirit showed up, a gaunt and wiry old man with very long white hair. I woke up with the impression of “F”. I opened up my copy of Demons of Magick and the page I was on was “The powers of Furcas”. His evocation keys: grey and white, and the feeling of old skin over hard muscle.

Looks like I’ll be working with Buer and Furcas, I suppose. I haven’t had a demon try to reach me in dreams, that I know of, since my PAIMON dream.

More rambling:
I remember a situation that happened a few years ago. Maybe six or seven years now that I think about it. I was lying in bed and meditating on Elubatel’s sigil, then put it aside and tried to sleep. My ears were full of the sound of ringing. From a distance I heard dogs barking, and then in a great chain from far to nearby, all the dogs in the neighbourhood were set to howling and barking. From the window right behind my head I heard a dog’s steady panting gradually approaching, until it was right by my head. By then I was very disturbed and firmly cried “Stop!” in my head. The sound – panting, barking, and ringing all – stopped, not at all once, but as though some great hand seized the world’s volume control and turned it steadily down from 10 to zero. I think that was what freaked me out the most. I was too nervous to sleep for a long time after, and I never figured out exactly what happened.

Edit: also on the way to work I was violently overtaken by a car whose numberplate read “3 Signs”. Ok universe, give me my three signs then, I’m ready.

Until next time :two_hearts:

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Tuesday, 20th October

Kendrick Lamar – LOVE. FEAT. ZACARI.

Have been steadily working my way through a bunch of targeted petitions, with more planned over the remainder of the week.

One petition last night felt like a big win. Good energy, strong candle flame. Evocation keys were easily called up and projected. Got a bit turned on. The petition burned so quickly and strongly that the flames were floating an inch or two above the actual paper. Will report back in a few weeks.

Second petition last night, almost instantaneous results after calling up this particular spirit and tasking him. Within the hour later I had results, and the results have lasted all through today. Note, this was a petition for internal change, not material manifestation as such. Part of the deal was public praise, so I hope he understands that I am holding off on being more explicit here, because while the quick effects are very welcome, I would like to see if it holds a bit more long-term, to the spirit of the petition, and not just the word. But, so far I am quite impressed, and excited to share praise. I’m a little bit in awe/love. Reee

Petition tonight, same deal; took a minute to get myself settled but made sure I was in the zone when I went into it. Good connection, strong visualisation, quick burning.

My dreams (which I take to be a yardstick for my subconscious) have been gradually clearing up. Last night was an interesting kind of meta-dream, in which I was experiencing something that I wanted, and my dream-self, while not lucid, was nonetheless conscious that it was being imprinted on my subconscious. :thinking:

And before I drifted off to sleep, Furcas was on my mind once more, and I felt a presence quite strongly. Today I was idly drawing him. I haven’t forgotten, and I will call on you.

I am watching the results of a petition I made a few months ago seeming to come to fruition before my very eyes. I’m actually wondering if I should reverse it because there’s probably going to be a lot of money in it for me. :thinking: At the time I didn’t see beyond just wanting it to be removed from my day to day life, but now I think I am better equipped to handle it, and instead of using magic to make the problem go away, I can use magic to make myself more capable of handing the problem.

Got myself a new Tarot deck, and ordered hard-copies of 72 Angels of Magick and Demons of Magick. I plan to pad out my collection with a hardcopy of every Gallery of Magick book… just in case.

One note; I have been following my own notes I’ve taken on DoM’s first ritual, the petition ritual. I should amend them to include the below as I have found them very helpful for myself:

  • Eyes open visualisation during opening ritual, while staring fixedly through the core ritual sigil.
  • Chanting Atah Gibor Le-olam Adonai rather than stating it once, while staring through the core ritual sigil.
  • If I have trouble focusing I continue to chant the above while scanning the demon’s sigil, up until calling the Shem angel.
  • Continuing to mentally chant the demon’s name as I cycle through the evocation keys, building momentum, switching back and forth at random between them.
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Dreamt of being chased by a blind white lion, trying to fight it off but its claws were in me. I was on the ground, it looming over me like a lover, claws in flesh, then woke up. Felt sick, felt ominous presence(s). Banished, set wards, and went back to sleep. Broken sleep. Weird dreams. Today feeling drained and ill and foggy.

Sunday, 25th October

Drake – Finesse

Not much to report.

My nails are getting too long to type properly with.

If I was better-prepared and not so lazy, I’d have cast a ritual last week for what I have to face tomorrow. Rather, I’m just going to wing it, which is how I approach most things in life, and seems to have worked out for me so far.

I should plan something for the Halloween blue moon. Perhaps I will cut my fingernails in ritual offering.

Most of this weekend was spent diving down internet rabbit-holes. I find it oddly comforting to be reminded how warped and uncertain “reality” is. It shores up my belief that the 3D world is exceptionally malleable.

Today:

  • A minor manifestation after setting an intent for it yesterday, which I’d completely forgotten abut until it showed up. Just another experiment in testing the law. It’s coincidence! …Or is it?

  • Ritual from Sigils of Power and Transformation

  • Direct magic… of a sort. At first, not on purpose, I spaced out and entered a sort of waking trance, and ended up “opening” an image of someone like you’d open a sigil. Then doubled down deliberately, deep trance, astral temple, summoned them, interacted, dismissed. Very unscientific, but pleases me. Will need to test further.

  • Shuffled the ever-loving fuck out of the new deck. Me, thinking: when are you going to show me something positive? Two cards leapt out: king of pentacles, two of cups… … … … I don’t know what to make of this. Don’t play with my heart, new deck.

Can’t be in a room with you and stand on different sides
One thing at a time
I have to learn to hide
One thing at a time
Emotions running high

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