I'm Struggling, In general

[TheMagi]

So I am The Magi as I’ve titled myself (Just a name that sits with me and idk why) and I’m having trouble in my life.
I can bring it into three categories.
Academic/Physical: I’m not sure what I want to do with my life, what kind of degree I want. I know I want to have a nice stable income and I want to write books. Even though I want to write books I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. It sounds odd but just writing doesn’t seem enough to me, I want to be able to get some funds fast while working on my books.
Wealth: This is a subcategory of this, I don’t have the best source of money atm so it hinders me from writing, from getting help, from magick not just because of the funds but also the stress of not having funds. I wanted to see if anyone can help me with that. I know I can evoke and ritual which I’ve tried but I’m not getting results on my own. I’ve been giving it time but still not what I needed.

Emotional/Relationships: So I’m pretty lonely I’m not afraid to say and I am not afraid to admit I work better with company or a S/O. I haven’t tried much magick for that, and I’ll say why in the magick section.I feel an emotional void and It seems to be affecting my life. I have friends but it feels distance and though I’m fine with being on my own I would rather have someone in my life. I need help (not looking for someone on here to come to my doorstep but if you could work with me on doing magick to help me out)

Magick: The one thing that gives me hope also makes me doubt. I do evocations but with almost no result. The only real one I got results on was Mepistial but the contact hasn’t been the same since the first time her and I talked. I can’t hear spirits even in my living imagination, I was diagnosed with anxiety as a teen and I am on medicine which could be affecting my sense but I’m not sure. I meditate, most the funds i use to have, have gone to BALG Courses and I practice them to the best of my abilities but I haven’t gotten what I need back. I believe in magick and spirits and more but with every failed evocation and ritual I seem to question what I already know to be the truth. Maybe I’m not ready? Maybe its worked in a way I can’t see? But either way, I still can’t seem to do what I aim to do. Any help?

I ask this of you. you don’t have to help out or answer. Maybe getting this out will just help or maybe someone else feels the same. Thank you for listening.

-The Magi

[Uncle-Al]

You sound like me at your age. Magick is a tough gig; if performed correctly it should be fun and it’s eminently worthwhile. We’re either a bunch of self-deluged, self-aggrandising phantasisers or we’re not. Matter for you.

Start off learning a Banishing ritual. I think I’ve posted about the importance of banishing before. After you’ve achieved results proceed to evoking. I use inverted pentagram rituals, you use whatever you like – just master both.

Make yourself some chanting beads out of 100% natural materials plus acquire a 100% all natural draw-string carry bag to house said beads when these are in your pocket. By chanting you alter the Morphic field (you look it up). And keep notes in you Magickal Journal.

Get yourself a pendulum. Most New Age stores sell these. Use over Seals that you’ve consecrated with the appropriate bodily fluid. Blood and spit are old favourites.

That should be enough to get you seriously started. Hope I’ve helped.

Al.

[FraterMagni]

@Uncle-Al has given some amazing suggestions. I’m in a similar boat aside from magick at least. I’m getting more results with magick at least. But it’s hard to focus on your ascent when your lonely, sexually frustrated, poor, and confused with what you want to do in life. So I get you 100% and appreciate your honesty. Something that helped me open up my mind to the spirits was EA’s blue candle meditation and his Soul Travel course. After practicing the things from his course and beginning to trust my self that I’m not making shit up in my head when I talk to spirits, that’s when my result consistency went from 30% to 55% roughly. Just keep at it and read as much as you can, watch as many videos as you can, and ask as many questions as you can. Experience will help you shape your practice to your liking. Just because everyone on here is into demons, doesn’t mean you are. There are so many ways to practice magick and angels and demons are a fraction of the bigger picture. Not shitting on angels or demons, just saying that they won’t resonate with everyone, and for the most part, myself included. Wish you the best.

[Verdo]

I meditate, most the funds i use to have, have gone to BALG Courses and I practice them to the best of my abilities but I haven’t gotten what I need back. I believe in magick and spirits and more but with every failed evocation and ritual I seem to question what I already know to be the truth.

if you are doing evocations…dont do them for things you do not actually care much about. its tempting to do rituals for stuff you dont care much for simply to prove that this stuff works or to get “practice” but you need to build the right amount of desire during the ritual to actually get what you want…and you wont be able to do that if you’re in practice mode and not “lets do some fucking magick” mode. These videos should help. The second vid is about curses, but it applies to all magick. Do rituals for things you not only want, but NEED to happen. if you dont have true desire for the stuff you’re asking for because you’re just “practicing” you wont get much results. Don’t just practice magick. Put it to practice

And if you need a bit of inspiration, this may help too

The BALG repository of fantastical success stories with Magick

So ive been meaning to do this for a while, as I think it would have value to both old and new users. As some of you may know, most of the time i spend on here isnt spent posting, but actually reading old posts…mining for information. In my searches, I often stumble upon absolutely amazing testimonies of peoples successes in magick that have now largely become lost in the pages of time. However, I tend to always bookmark a lot of them and read them regularly…to the point where my bookmark page h…

[TheMagi]

Thank you so much I’ll look into this right away!

[TheMagi]

Yeah Trusting myself is what I need to work on but it is hard. I always hear trust yourself but never really know how to do it. I have an anxiety disorder that causes auditory hallucinations so its hard to tell the difference. Maybe they’re not hallucinations and are spirits in that case they’re very mean cx.
I’ll have to see what else I can do.
I’m going through his divination and soul travel course right now, I’m going back home with my christian parents since my semester is ending and evocation will be tough to do so I’m thinking on working on those for the summer.
I need to get out of self doubt but its hard to do so.

[OnionKnight]

All these comments are helpful. You’re all amazing people

[FraterMagni]

You can do it! Experience will help get rid of your self doubt but you can never fully get rid of it. Just know that your magick works. And practice candle magick. It’s easy to hide from parents. All you need is a candle. You may not be ready for full evocation right now.

[fapa79]

Yes, one of the reasons I’d like a relationship and on a minor level a coffee machine, travels etc. is as validation or support. That is, to know my spiritual or magical world isn’t fiction or, even in this case, I’m satisfied with material ‘resources’ and personal realization (also about career and achievements).
Further, about evocation and trust, I’ve read a simple but maybe useful concept: if someone says “I’ve seen the devil” a skeptic laughs. This same skeptic, though, have just imagined and (doing so) evoked a devil.