Illuminating the Path

Yeah I feel im shooting myself in the foot every day for my career.

I told myself that today im not gonna touch it untill after work. After I can get it to that without any issues or “cravings” I guess is what I should call it. After I get that working good. Im gonna try and push it back to only before bed and when I have my buddy over. Im gonna try and kick this shit in phases.

Dude no lie! That is 100% the truth. Ive cut off 3 high-school friends who still live at home with mommy and work for mommy, only have vehicles because mommy bought them for them. I was fine with them ruining their own life. But you try to tell me that im fucking my life up… get fucked! We will be moving away from here again. Just not sure how soon it will be.

I lived in Evansville Indiana for about 10 years before moving back to Missouri in 2017. I liked indiana but I thought I wanted to be close to my family… found out I was wrong lol.

Its weird. I used to be the one social butterfly to rule them all. Since moving back to Missouri all that has changed… well not moving back to Missouri but since I found magick. Maybe thats whats at the root of it all for me and why its so hard to make these changes. I feel im losing that part of myself and im not yet willing to let it go.

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Im finally home from vacation and trying to unwind a little. Vegas was an absolute blast. Got to do a lot and missed out on a couple of things I really wanted to do. What was missed out on, we didn’t zip line down Freemont, also didnt get to goto the haunted museum it was closed. Got to visit the raiders stadium… meh… got to hit up the mob museum. The garden in the belagio. Gambled in the belagio, luxor, circa, aria, new York new York and the mirage. I broke even in gambling so I didn’t win big but I didn’t lose anything either. Blackjack was my jam this time.

While on this vacay I decided I was gonna take a complete hiatus on my practice. Even so far as to not gamble. Basically the closest thing I did to magic while I was there was 2 things. #1 i made an offering to the wishing well inside the luxor. Basically just gave a freebie/thank you offering to whoever was giving me my current string of luck. #2 was the amount of delicious food I shovled into my mouth. Shit had to have been magical lol.




























Oh, and an update on my smoking habits. Since I’ve been home ive been doing well to keeping my smoking untill after work hours. I’ll keep pushing it back further and further till its not a thing :crossed_fingers:

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Maybe I should look into some meaning for 686 lol.

So im getting the itch to end my hiatus. Its been 2 full weeks today. My conundrum being that I have nothing instantly jumping out at me on what to do. I could do something work related to bring a new company to work for in my life. Im not sure if im just wishy-washy on my current job. If im being lazy and comfortable with my current job. I know I should move but idk somethings holding me in place.

I’ve been contemplating two options for workings. Im looking into doing some pathworking or enhacing my connection with the fae.

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Well, sometimes I offer to help others. Not only do I get to help solve “real world” problems (external to my personal reality), but it forces me to use what I know or research it outside the convenient book molds and scenarios.

Or ask a trusted spirit for guidance?

Welcome back.

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Well, if somethings holding you in place you need to figure out what and why (it’s extremely doubtful it’s laziness).

Meantime good job on cutting back on the smoking. :+1:Keep up the good work on cutting smoking out.

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You might check out this book, it’s geared at increasing basically all good things, finding your purpose, carrying it out, embracing thy self and making good future decisions that support all that. Short sweet and simple rituals, but I like the energy I felt going through them. I actually bought the paperback, even though I worked halfway through it while on kindle unlimited. I actually noticed random little things that were in align with the rituals about seven days into them, and it seemed to increase as I went.

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@anon39079500 so if im understanding what your saying i should try and help people who are also struggling with work related matters. In doing so I may find the answer that im looking for as well?

Ive been trying to break out of that shell. I like to help people but I end up second guessing myself a lot when I try to offer advice. 95% of all typed up responses I give end up getting deleted lol. Its something im trying to work on.

@Kish when I sit down and I ask myself what is keeping me in my current job the response I always get back is comfortablity. Its a process im trying to work through.

@Keteriya thank you, I added it to my Amazon kart and ill pick it up next Friday on payday.

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I was speaking broadly, but if you feel drawn towards that, then sure, why not? Working on similar problems, even in different areas, can help you apply the solutions toward your work problem. You can also think about it like exercise. If you do the same exercises, you get the same results. But once the plateau hits, you have to switch to related exercises or branch off into a different type and come back.

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No problem, the emotional process is similar to success Magic, because after each part of each ritual you imagine what it would be like to have the given power, but I like that it’s one talisman for all of the rituals. I liked the way they felt better too. :smirk:

You’re supposed to do them each till you hit a total of 33 days, so it’s considerably shorter than success magic, if you stack them, or only pick a few of them. It says 11 rituals on the back but I only count 8 plus the activation of the talisman, so even spread out and performed one at a time, I’m pretty sure the entire books shorter.

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I had two books show up today.


Thanks @Keteriya and @anon39079500

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Have fun with that one.

I’m still here and this journal is still going. I’ve been using the last couple of months to work on mundane life issues.

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@anon39079500 in the shadownomicon, I’m having issues visualizing what it is Thorne is trying to describe with how to setup the sanctuary candle charging ritual. I place a disc of salt on the ground. Set the candle on it. Then a selenite tower on top of it. Is the taper candle supposed to be standing up with a selenite tower then balanced on top of it as well??

He also makes reference to a candle and a candle stick. So I’m not sure 100% what he is trying to convey. This starts on page 156 if you still have your book for reference.

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I totally skipped the candle, the selenite tower, and the tourmaline.

I went back and read it and both the candle and the candlestick are separated and on the salt bed. The selenite on top of the candlestick. This is just for the charging. Once it’s charged, the tower gets removed and the candle inserted.

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I am coming out of my hiatus. This break has ended with some real major spiritual growth on my part that I will update here with. I no longer feel lost in the Dark so I will be changing the name of this journal.

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Just in time for Independence Day, 11Bang. Looking forward to it.

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Happy Independence Day to all. So today I thought I would start my sharing a little intimate piece of my life. As some of you know I spent some time in Iraq in 2004-2006 with the us army. I did convoy security and was the gunner for gun trucks. It took me all over iraq. There isn’t a single us ran camp there at the time that I did not visit. The point of all this is something I was only reminded of a couple weeks ago.

Scania was the half way point and also the point of going further you we’re going to start encounter enemy combatants. Not saying lower Iraq was safe. Just considerably less than the southern parts. So what would happen is as you left the north gate. The locals would give you what’s referred to as a scania angel. What they did was take the lead from bullets and melt them down into these medallions and give them to the gunners to bless them with a safe mission.

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Ok, so I looked back and my break was about 10 months. In 10 months I have a fuck load of updates to give both magickal and mundane. Let’s see if I can pull this off one go and not have to edit lol. Already failed… lol

Long story short, quit my career and decided to never go back. Started working with the veterans affairs office to get some diagnosis on physical and mental issues as well as compensation. I took a sum from my 401 before rolling the rest over so I could take a break and work on/ fix myself. I believe this to have been very successful.

I’ve been working out more regularly, trying to eat less and more healthy and in turn I’m physically feeling better. I started seeing a therapist to work on trauma. I’m not sure how that part will work out. I understand very well how people can view parts of my life as very traumatic. I just don’t feel the same. Maybe that’s part of my issue. More to come on that. I got put on an ssr by the va. If you’d have asked me a month ago if I thought it was helping. I would have categorically told you no. I was sleeping 80-90% of the day and found 0 joy in the things I used to be enthusiastic about. Including praxis. Now if you ask me…. I feel like I’ve found the missing parts of myself. I found my soundtrack to my life and I’m fucking grooving on it. I know I need to foster these feelings so they can mature. I’m not sure how to do that but I understand that I will when the time comes. I’m currently happier than I have been in 5 years.

What changed you ask?? Well just sit the fuck down and let me tell you. I’m sure some people are going to feel like I’m a broken record because I’m talking so much about the Monroe institute. I’m excited so get used to it brah. What I did was sign up for the gateway voyage which is a 5 days 6 nights exploration of different levels of consciousness/awareness and how you can apply those different levels to different task/objectives. For example. remote viewing, making contact with your guide, asking questions to your higher self. Reviving messages from friends and family and obtaining the out of body experience and much more.

I’ll not harp to much about what I’ve already wrote, you can find it in a post I made with the search feature. Look for gateway voyage. What I took away was truly a gift. I got a knowing for a lot of things I needed. A lot of things that I was already aware of but had that little voice of reason that would come in like a party crasher. I’ve always had a powerful ego. I learned how to put that aside. I learned how to trust my clairvoyant sides. I could always sense energy within myself but was pretty confused when it went outside of me. No longer an issue. I know with all my being when I am receiving and the subtleties of the energy changes that come with it. The whole experience was magical and I would recommend it to everyone. I don’t have any concerns about any works i do in the future ( I didn’t really before but I am definitely emboldened by my experience) on their validity of success. I have the confidence in my understanding now that I will start opening up more with the community.

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As for a career now, since I can’t be completely retired. Even with va payments I still need additional income to make bills and have food on the table. I had been kicking around the idea of going back to college to study one of two possibilities. Human consciousness and the brain and how they work together. Or I wanted to do astronomy because fucking stars. Right!?!

I’ve recently come to a decision on this. I’m not going to go back to school. What I am going to do is apply to the Monroe institute to start as an out reach trainer and I will begin training other individuals in obtaining higher levels of consciousness. For me to do this I need to complete one more program through them then apply for the outreach. I’ve signed up for the next program in consciousness for September. So I have a plan for moving forward.

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Late night Obe attempt.

Mind awake body asleep was successful. This is easy enough. Tonight I started feeling a tugging in my toes like the blanket was getting heavier. I instantly recognized this to be the sensation I would get as my body starts to fall asleep. So I made the decision because it felt like what I should be doing to inhale energy into that part of the body.

My thought process was that we are energy beings and that as energy state beings we could need a charging. So I started charging up the highest area I could feel the weight at. Toes then ankles the calf’s and so on. Mid way through I don’t remember where. My wife got a coughing fit. I recognized that she was having a coughing fit and tried to let it go. I almost started to get annoyed but instead told myself that her noises would instead push me down deeper instead. Wouldn’t ya fucking know it work!! But in the beginning I did lose my attention on my weighted spot and it receded down my body like a mountain climber falling… plummeted.

I got it back up over my waist and up near my heart and kept going. I felt tingling in my toes ever so gently like warm electricity. Until it eventually got to my nose. Where it stalls for a while refusing to budge. So I kept feeding it and feeding it and feeding it until it finished without me even noticing.

I was in the void. This time I was alone. I could have easily let myself fall into sleep or I could have stayed there till the sun came up. I finally gained my awareness that my body was out and I was still conscious. I started Monroe’s method for creating the vibrations state. I focused on a point 6 feet above my forehead then 6 feet in a 90 degree to above my head. At that point I start reaching with my awareness.

I made a grabbing and pulling motion from that focal point trying to pull the vibrations into me. I started feeling tingling all throughout my body I could feel a surge of energy start swelling or forming in my feet.
I feel it raise up to my hips. All this time I’m noticing that my guide isn’t responding. But I also realize I don’t need help yet because I’ve been here before and I’ve got this.

At that point I get excited and go on a quick spiral all the way back to waking consciousness. I look at my clock. 2 hours have passed.

I encourage anyone to add tips. I’m a fish flailing semi successfully.

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