I'll do anything

General Discussion
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I know. I know, there’s probably 1000’s of desperation posts but this is more than supplication or merely asking for handouts. This is an application of sorts, an expression of defeat. This isn’t unique but I have come to a point in my life where I don’t desire to be at all, and leaving everything and getting a new life has no drawbacks. Magic and the meta-psychical isn’t anything new to me but I am by no means knowledgeable. I don’t have a lack of motivation but I would like a mentor to teach me and push me further to my will magically. I know magic comes with a price and I have my time and willpower and whatever it takes to change everything.

-Akeldama

PS: I don’t desire something generic and superficial like wealth or fame etc.

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Dude, asking for a mentor here you’re setting yourself up for a scammer or ten.

There are many tutorials in the forum, read them and start to work from there.

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I already sent him a PM.

If he is actually willing to learn, I’m willing to teach.

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Ah,self fullfilling prophecies.

@Anziel_Merkaba I am just kidding bb :lips:

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Because I am a degenerate.

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I called him baby, man lets stop polluting the poor thread.

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Dude, why are you so desperate that you’re willing to basically do ANYTHING for magickal training?

My teacher recommends reading the complete works of Carlos Castaneda, which were required reading material for her in the LHP Order she was a part of.

Also, Dion Fortune has 2 books I would read: Psychic Defense and the mystikal Kabbalah.

Read those 2 books as well.

Oh, and when you read the works of Castaneda, DO NOT practice Dream Sorcery. A LOT of arrogant sorcerors have practiced despite the constant warning neophytes are given, thinking it will be a cake walk to pass through yhe second gate into the third and say no to the Scouts. Here’s the thing: they’re possibly the slickest used car salesmen this world has ever known. They can see right through to the core of your unconcious mind and xan see all your fantasies and they are MASTER manipulators. They will VERY likely get you to trade away your freedom in exchange for some bullshit and then you will be trapped in that barren place in the astral realm indefinitely. You DO NOT want that.

Otherwise, Castaneda is a little known secret among high level dark adepts it seems. The fact that he’s been so widely discredited amd rebuked for how he lived his personal life is theorized by my teacher to probably be why his works are even allowed to exist at all.

Dion Fortune has a really good take on the Kabbalah from what I have heard. Stufying Kabbalah is a BIG deal because it basically serves as a blueprint for one’s consciousness. By understanding your consciousness, ypu understand your Will and it’s effects on others. On top of that, you develop your chakra points by applying what you learn to your life and once you have developed all 3 lower chakras enough and begun work in the upper 2, you become what is known as an “Adept” which basically means that with that energetic configuration, ypu have access to magick NATURALLY because you habe developed so thoroughly as to start piercing the veil. That being said, if you intend to be a POSITIVE adept you develop the anahata (4th chakra, aka green aka heart aka unconditional love chakra) as well. Negative adepts deliberately skip the anahata, rejecting unconditional love and compassion towards others, deliberately keeping it closed. Either way, if you develop enough along the kabbalah, you will eventually develop your chakras enough to easilly and naturally access magick. Spellwork and rituals will become less and less necessary the more you develop as an adept. RHP orders tend to study the Sephirotg and LHP orders tens to study the night tree, which in common LHP circles is known as the Qliphoth. My teacher says that the secret orders have their own different version of the night tree and that the Qlippoth is more of the night tree as understood from an RHP perspective (projection) but I cannot agree or disagree because I am way too green and because I have never seen nor studied this “secret” night tree. Plenty of LHP types around here seem to find the Qliphoth useful, so whatever. My teacher has an unusual modality for an occultist: she teaches both. First the day tree then the night tree. Most occult orders don’t do that. LHP orders study only the night tree and RHP orders study only the day tree. Typically only the Jews study BOTH but it happens. The RHP Orders say it is an “impure” practice to study both, whatever that means. My teacher believes the two are incomplete without each other amd it would seem the religion that created the Kabbalah agrees. Study of astrology and/or tarot for the purpose of self study can also deepen one’s understanding of the Kabbalah it seems, but the Kabbalah is more intricate from what I have heard. Most study Tarot amd astrology for Divination. For Divination via the tarot, Shannon L Matteson seema to know his stuff. As for astrology for Divination I was given a great recommendation once by Shannon himself but I forgot what it was. Seems high level divinative astrology requires math though. If so, probably not my cup of tea LOL I don’t know where the best source to learn astrology for study of the archetypal mind is though.

You might also want to look up popular or classic grimoires, as a lot of occultists seem to read those. Ask for suggestions on those too if you want.

If sex magick is your thing, Aleister Crowley was WELL KNOWN for that sort of thing, as well as bringing in the practices of the Golden Dawn to the public eye and drawing attention to the works of Eliphas Levi, so might wanna learn more on them later if your interested.

Other than that, just ask people on here for recommendations. I’m sure thwy have plenty, plus they post their stuff on this site as well.

Also, this site promotes certain books like the stuff of EA Koeting it seems. He seems to make LHP stuff, which I’m not into, but if you are, he has a lot of books that this site promotes so there’s the official BALG endorsement.

Otherwise just use Google and Youtube and see what cool shit you take an interest in.

Other than that, I dunno, but you might want to ask around.

Limited advice for now I know. Hope I can help you more later :slight_smile:

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Good advice , I’ll be applying some of this ,

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Cool! Glad I could help :slight_smile:

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Oh, and I should mention a few other things as I have come to understand it:

Just like how men are generally more physically powerful than women, women tend to be more magically powerful than men. Although they do tend to be more emotionally vulnerable which may or may not be a big deal to you but is apparently viewed by her “Family” as a huge liability and after one story in particular I can see why.

That being said, a seat of a woman’s sorcery is her womb and for a man, his sperm, which is why a man ejaculating during a spell and using his semen to charge things (sex magick) works so well. It is Also why some sorcerors prefer aemwn retention: they hold their chi/Qi/prana/essential life force energy back and prevent it from releasing. There is a lot of power in semen retention. However, there is a high risk of wet dreams if one does not know what one is doing. Also, if onw is relying on irln clad discipline, there may be sacral chakra blockage as a result. Seems to be the go to mwthod among thw elite LHP orders. They LOVE discipline. It might make it easier to learn how to orgasm without ejaculation. Control of the perennium helps with that, especially via the Moola Bandah technique (look it up) Another thing one can do which can make wet dreams a non-issue and probably clear any sacral blockage that may result from semen retention is sublimation through creativity. Channel all that sexual energy into creative expression amd you have sublimated it. Seems to be a preffered method of positive seekers. I wonder how often it occurs to orders like the one my teacher was in? Anyway, easiest way is to get a vasectomy. Then you can have sex and ejaculate whike still retaining your seed because your sperm are literally trapped inside your balls. That being said, this doesn’t work if you use methods that do not force your sperm to stay in your balls. For example, that method which involves an easilly reversible gel substance? No bueno for semen retention because instead of BLOCKING sperm it electromagnetically SHREDS sperm up as they pass through it. Not useful for semen retention in that case.

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Can I get into that too ???

What do you think of a group to teach ??

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Perhaps this is why the Qlippoth has never really clicked with me. It sounds like you have a very wise teacher. While I don’t work with the Kabbalah/Qlippoth I also try to work both light and dark, night and day.

Youre second post is also very interesting, I have long wondered where I fall on the idea of semen retention. Mostly I cannot decide because I don’t fully understand the mechanics around its usefulness. I personally view it as relating to your creative energies, ergo wasted semen sends your creative energy to something potentially not helpful.

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Yes i also have some questions. i just cant figure out how to send a pm. would u mind pming me? or do you have a discord?

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You can’t PM until you reach the title level of member.

I guess I’ll send you a PM, but eh.

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I only mentor people IRL these days. Too many people flake when it comes to online mentoring so I just don’t do it anymore but I’m happy to answer questions and my door is usually open.

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True. I think the elite orders seem to have VERY complex systems in place for manipulating energy towards their ends. I am still green but as I come to ideas and understandings I start to realize just hiw thorough and meticulous their system really is. I am beginning to really respect the strategy. I am also coming up with interesting ideas myself, but I feel I am prone to getting ahead of myself.

That being said, I cannot truly weigh in on the differing night trees as I have studied neither and do not have access to the supposed “true” night tree.

And yes, my teacher is very wise. Wiser than all the others in her “Family” for sure. They consider themselves wise but they sound tragically arrogant, as was once my teacher. The difference is, my teacher learned thanks to all the time spent in Penumbra. As she says: “It is better to change than be trapped in a cage”

It seems freedom is her greatest goal. She said she escaped one prison only to immediately find herself in another: “Of all the prisons I have personally experienced the human ego is truly the most horrifying”

She is the ONLY mixed or “gray” adept I can think of. Basically, she has what ONCE WAS the energetic configuration of a dark adept, but her anahat has somewhat opened. Though she admitted not by a whole lot. Still, she can literally just look at people and see their chakras, and despite the abundance of “positive” and “loving” and “empathetic” people talking about “love and light” she sees closed hearts and blocked lower chakras. She sees liars, essentially. She says truly open hearts are EXTREMELY rare. Rarer than the already rare configuration of a dark adept. I guess hers is even more rare: a dark adept who grew a heart to some extent. So she can be the proverbial “bitch” but at the same time, actually HAS an open heart, so any empathy she expresses is SINCERE. Still looking to escape her ego though. Based on what I’ve beem discovering, I view the further development if the anahata and the seeking of further connection with others in the healing process as key, but I dare not weigh in. I am a white belt so to speak and she is basically a grandmaster.

In my view though, true wisdom only comes when wisdom is balanced with compassion.
That is why she is wiser than the rest of her Family. She is also the most badass from what I can tell, which is saying something. I would not want to fuck with these people, but if I were these people, I would not want to fuck with her.

EDIT: I forgot ro address your semen retention comment. It is possible you know to practice LIMITED semen retention. Here’s what I do: I have greatly reduced masturbation and when I do masturbate, my thing is to orgasm without ejaculation. This does take practice, but I am surprised how quickly I was able to get a handle on it. I don’t think it is as difficult as it seemed at first. It gets easier much quicker than you’d think.
The mollah banda exercise should help me further in the event that I work it into my practices. Also, sublimation should help. But first I would further need to develop my creative pursuits and abilities. I am competent at visual art though, which should be quite useful for magick. Still scraping money up for materials.
When I DO ejaculate, I try to have a basic sigil and intention set first. Still, gotta get that better developed as well. I move slowly, but I am patient and I am slowly progressing. I will post when I am further along and have some actually INTERESTING workings and results to post. That being said, I do feel currently that orgasming without full on ejaculatuon is kinda like being hungry and having to refrain from eating a steak but you’re allowed to eat protein bars, you know? It’ll do, but it doesn’t feel the same. Maybe as I get better the orgasms will improve though. Who knows? Guess I shall have to see.

Anyway, I am still looking for more stuff to add to my contributions on this page, since it seems a good thread for posting basic “getting started” stuff, which is perfect for us “white belts”

So here’s something I wanted to contribute:

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Cool! Do you have any tips you would like to add to this thread that woukd be useful for us magical white belts? Any recomendations for reading material, items, practices, resources etc for those getting aquainted?

Also, do you study kabbalah, tarot or astrology or anything like that for self study? If so, what modalities do you prefer?

And what general magical modalities do you specialize in?

Are you white, black or “mixed” orientation in your magical seeking?

Just getting some basic idea of who you are you are and what you teach. You know, context :slight_smile:
Edit: Also, do you have any money magick tips you coukd give me? One that wouldn’t be unethical within a normally understood framework of ethics preferably. Also, I’ve been warned I’m not ready yet for invocation and evocation. So is there a spell that works and doesn’t hurt anybody that you would recomend for me?

Thank you for your offer of assistance.

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Ahh. So THAT’S why I can’t do it. Thank you for clearing that up :slight_smile:

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thank you.

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No problem. I provide what help I can.