Just wanted to put this out there in case any others are struggling with magick or are doubting their results. I was at a very low point today after having quit my job and having to cancel on moving in to my next place.
I was just relaxing and sort of gazing in the dark. With a shoulder injury And after loosing a fight to a hardass coworker I was starting to feel pathetic until remembered something that was once said to me on these forums.
Sometimes when your life is turned upside it’s the start of something new.
So I started meditating and thought to myself “ what good could possibly come from this” until I realized it’s the push I needed. It was to push me to setting magick as my number one priority. After moving here instead of trusting that things would fall in place I have been spending all my energy worrying about things instead of magick. Then the few times I’ve asked for things results have been shoddy at best. Then I heard a familiar voice , a raspy guttural one tell me “ so you finally figured it out”.
A spirit I had once thought that was ignoring me had arrived. Belial. You see before I moved out here to San Diego to start my life anew I asked Belial if he could help me rebuild my life. I also asked for him to take me on as a pupil of sorts.
The last few times I’ve made requests to him I’ve never gotten a clear ok or any results at all. I thought he had just left but it turns out he’s been here all along. Just watching in the shadows.
He’s doing exactly what I asked of him. He’s making me learn how to manifest things for myself and ascend. He’s helping me rebuild my life from the very bottom. His energy has been smothering me ever since I left my home state. From leaving with too little money and few prospects , to finally having the balls to quit a temporary gig that made me miserable and lastly sticking up for myself like a man and fighting someone I knew I’d lose too. I just never realized it until now.
I was supposed to be done with this job and manifest a much better one already I imagine. I’ve been here 5 months. When things got bad , he stepped in again. I asked him to send me a partner that would look out for me within a certain time frame in case things got really dire. I remember being told “ I can’t send you someone that specific but I can manipulate in your favor”.
I asked him for a very specific chick so I would know it was him. What he did instead when things got bad was one of the girls I was banging had a husband who not only didn’t care but agreed to take me in and let me stay with them. Oh did I mention they’re way too nice and kinda spoil me sometimes ?
My point is all the trials I’m currently facing are not without great purpose. I’m not worried anymore about what happens because I’m equipping myself with the magickal tools I need to get what I want out of life. I’m not weak. My magick isn’t weak. We all have the strength within ourselves.
One thing I want to add was the excercises I was given , some even at a earlier point , are word for word what the article explains when I’ve never once read an article on how to do said excercises. I thought I was answering myself when once again they came from “somewhere else”.
So before you completely give up or think your guides have abandoned you look at the bigger picture. What’s really going on ? Look closely at yourself.
This was the push I needed right now.