Just to see if I can. I know it’s probably a bad idea with a tonne of consequences for both his career and mine. yet the dreams I have about fulfilling it are extensive.just to see how far I can stretch my magickal ability. These dreams give me explicit details of which spirits I need to summon and extensive ritual instructions. I keep entertaining the idea. Once I forget it and forget about him, sure enough it will pop up in a dream. And these dreams are beautiful and glorious and elaborate. But as I explore the chasms of my unconscious, searching for what compels me to seduce this therapist. I am unable to extract what exactly about this situation is so compelling. The fact that he is a safe male authority figure, perhaps? Or is it the raw sexual tension that unravels between us, despite him being old enough to be my father. I am not one with’daddy issue’s, but I feel drawn to this man in an inexplicable way. Even knowing he is happily married, with a (most likely from my astral perception of his family) beautiful wife and son. Even knowing he is a devout Christian who goes to church every Sunday. Which makes me even more curious about him. He is very philosophical. He commands authority. He is intelligent and tells enchanting and philosophical stories. The way he speaks about his son is truly passionate. He has overcome and conquered his demons to make himself successful at his career. I want to emulate him in every way I can. I want to embody his ideal attributes.
I would immediately just wipe this off as another case of. Transference. But I don’t think this is the case. We have crossed paths a number of times… and I have only seen him ONCE for therapy one on one. This was only a few weeks ago. And it took me months to work up the courage to make that sessio. After that session he pointed out a few attributes of myself he had observed (I am flirtatious, I am a people pleaser and social chameleon) which turned me off the idea of him for awhile. But then bam. Another dream rendered me lovestruck. Complete with perplexing information regarding rituals that would render my astral longings into physical fulfillment.
I am fighting with every molecule in my being right now to be introspective and contemplate this entire situation.
I don’t expect a response… I am merely entertaining a notion that has been playing on my subconscious lately.