I want to make a pact


#1

That’s right, I want to make a pact. I know exactly what I want, and I know exactly what I’m willing to sacrifice to get it.

I realize there’s no going back.

Unfortunately, I see no other options. I’ve managed to dig my way into a hole that I can’t get out of. At least on on my own.

I’m not a mage, or a conjurer… Or what ever term you prefer to use. I’ve never called upon a spirit before in my life. With that being said, I’ll need help.

Someone who’s willing to make contact for me. If it’s even possible, if it’s not I’ll just have to risk doing it myself.

  • Dredd

#2

You need to first shed some light on the situation at hand.

What’s going on that you need to make a pact? That helps determine the spirit. Making blind pacts is NOT a good idea.

Also, why do you think a pact is necessary?


#3

I answered in the OTHER thread in the general discussion sub forum.


#4

If you can not see or hear or in anyway divine the spirit, a pact is NOT a good idea.

What specifically are you looking for, money, love, court case, revenge…etc? We can give you loads of ideas as to what you can do right now to achieve your goals.


#5

LOL! We can definitely do this. One answer in one thread, and the other in the different one.

Maybe this second thread isn’t so bad after all.


#6

[quote=“Orismen, post:4, topic:2778”]If you can not see or hear or in anyway divine the spirit, a pact is NOT a good idea.

What specifically are you looking for, money, love, court case, revenge…etc? We can give you loads of ideas as to what you can do right now to achieve your goals.[/quote]I’ll give you a little bit of the story.

I’ve had several very unfortunate events occur in my life, that have resulted in a very broken human being.

It started with my dad leaving. I was 3 at the time. For some reason, I thought him not wanting anything to do with me was my fault. And that killed me.

After he left my grandfather kind of took his place, and for the next few years of my life he was more like a father to me than my actual dad.

My dad came back when I was 7, but he wasn’t alone. He brought his girlfriend with him. So I didn’t really like going over to see him. I was hoping things would go back to normal, but it was pretty clear that they never were.

I found out that it wasn’t my fault at all that he didn’t want anything to do with me. Turns out my mother was blocking communications, not just to him but to my grandmother (his mother), uncles, aunts. Everyone in his family was cut off from me for those few years.

That left me feeling betrayed, and bitter.

A year later another plot twist came. My grandfather dropped dead of a heart attack. Our priest came to our house to tell us. I was watching a movie. The Page Master. I can even tell what time it was, what the weather was like and what was on the stove cooking.

I watched my mother breakdown. Literally breakdown, she dropped to the floor screaming and crying. The priest was even in tears.

Yet there I stood in the doorway, an 8 year old boy. I didn’t shed a tear. I didn’t react. I didn’t say “Oh my god!”, I just stood there. They asked me if I was okay and if I understood what I was just told. I said “Yeah, my grandfather had a heart attack and fell down the stairs.”, then I asked if I could go back to my movie.

I didn’t feel. For the longest time, I didn’t feel anything.

Until I was 13. I fell for a girl, and felt something for a change.

I’m not going into detail, but that ended badly. After that I shut down again.

When I was 16 I was working with my dad. We were night janitors, we would clean floors and wax them at all the big retail stores. My mom was depressed at the time, and she just laid in bed all day and night. So I ended up dropping out of school to take care of my sister. My sister was a full-care handicap child.

After she came out of the depression, we were fighting a lot. She wanted me to go back to school. But that’s not what I wanted. I was happy with my life at the time. With my friends, I had a good relationship with my real dad finally (he was more like a friend than a dad at the time). But she wouldn’t accept that.

Instead of just kicking me out of the house, this is what she did: she acted like she was texting, called our house phone from her cell phone and acted like it was important so she could leave the room. When she came back she said my dad wanted me to babysit for him. So of course I jumped.

When we got there, she was gone before I ever got to the door. As soon as I seen her speed off like that I immediately had this sickening feeling. When I went inside nobody had any idea what I was doing there. Half an hour later she was back, with my stuff. She dumped it in the driveway and sped off again. I didn’t hear from her for almost a month. And when I finally did all she did was tell me what she did to deceive me. She said she was sorry, but she didn’t know how else to get me out.

I’ve never felt so much hate and disgust toward in my life. And it was toward my own mother. The person who’s supposed to be there for you and take care of you.

Why do I want this?

They say if you have no soul you don’t have the ability to feel. I don’t want to feel ever again.

As far as material possessions go, I want money. Enough money that I can live a real life and go places. In my situation I won’t ever have the chance to any other way. I make $350 a month, pay $200 to my dad for rent and spend between $50 and $100 on deodorant, shampoo, toothpaste, laundry soap, etc.


#7

…So you want to make a pact for what, exactly? Sorry to hear about your shitty child life, but we need more information.

What is it exactly that you intend to do? Kill your mother? More information required.

And it sounds like you don’t need a pact at all.

EDIT: Hey, 600th post! Not bad!


#8

You need to work on your own self esteem first. There will be a lot of suggestions coming your way…but here is mine.

Lucifer or Azazel.

Lucifer is great at helping you see how amazing you are. I did some work with him, and I plan to again. But during my short time with him I learned how to view myself as my own “Son of the Morning, the bright star.” And Azazel sees the god/goddess inside all.

You can, and should, do some simple sigil work with them. Someone here will post a link to EA’s sigil opening newsletter, I’m sure. I don’t have it on me ATM.

Do some internal work. I have not done a reading but I get the feeling that you are struggling with feeling like you are worth something. Lucifer or Azazel can help with that.

You can do some divination to see who will help you the most.

Then get to work :slight_smile:


#9

Judge Dredd (cool name!), everyone thinks everything bad is their fault at age 3, you had no alternative way of understanding things so you need to let go of the idea you made a bad judgement there - you made the one everyone of that age would make, because that’s how children’s psyches work (and that’s why it’s so easy for people to manipulate, groom and abuse kids, because they always feel like it’s them that’s in the wrong).

So please let yourself off the hook on that, maybe do some reading on child psychology to understand more about it?

Good luck getting this fixed, and I’m sorry that happened to you, but you can move on and heal your past.

Meanwhile, here’s that sigil newsletter: http://www.becomealivinggod.com/newsletter/how-to-start-using-spirit-sigils-to-get-anything-you-want.html


#10

[quote=“Sevarn304, post:7, topic:2778”]…So you want to make a pact for what, exactly? Sorry to hear about your shitty child life, but we need more information.

What is it exactly that you intend to do? Kill your mother? More information required.

And it sounds like you don’t need a pact at all.

EDIT: Hey, 600th post! Not bad![/quote] I finished it.


#11

Firstly, ORISMEN CALLED IT.

Secondly, let me say sorry for your shitty life.

Third, are you SURE you don’t want to feel anymore? Take it from me man, when you rip that astral nasties’ core out with your bare claw, and crush it to dust, there is no better feeling than the raw destruction of an enemy that regular people couldn’t even know how to fight.

And money’s easy, just check the “Money Spells that Yielded Results” in that section.


#12

[quote=“Sevarn304, post:11, topic:2778”]Firstly, ORISMEN CALLED IT.

Secondly, let me say sorry for your shitty life.

Third, are you SURE you don’t want to feel anymore? Take it from me man, when you rip that astral nasties’ core out with your bare claw, and crush it to dust, there is no better feeling than the raw destruction of an enemy that regular people couldn’t even know how to fight.

And money’s easy, just check the “Money Spells that Yielded Results” in that section.[/quote]I have no enemies. I have no friends. I’m basically a ghost. The only people who know I exist are my family, and my government (they have my birth records and medical records).

Other than never feeling again and never having to worry about money, the only other thing I’d want in exchange would be lycanthropy. But I doubt it’s within their power to grant that gift.

Oh, one more small detail. When I was 12 years old, I was told by a specialist that it’d be a miracle if my liver didn’t fail by my 25th birthday. We were also told that my mother can’t be the one to give me a piece of her liver. And there’s no guarantee that my body will even accept a transplant.

If the doctors are right, I don’t have the time to build a life for myself. I don’t have time to build relationships with these spirits.

My 20th is just around the corner. That’s only 5 more years.

I need help ASAP.


#13

You can make friends with spirits, little one. Or use spirits to make friends. You sound very depressed, you might want to get some medication.

Also, know that you’ve found an awesome community that loves destroying and creating the fabric of reality for shits and giggles. Most on the path to godhood, others… well, others are different. Me, I’m on a path to demonhood- just read some of my posts, it makes sense.

I GET OFF TOPIC TOO MUCH.

We’re all ghosts, friend. This plane is but one of many, and most here are completely retarded. We can use them however we damn well please.

And that’s the thing, FEELING. Emotions are catalysts for ritual in some instances, how would you go about ritual without them? I’m not trying to hinder you or anything, but I don’t know how one would go about reversing it if they changed their minds.

Try working with gods and demons and angels and things of the like. Or at least read up on them. Whoever sticks out to you as the friendliest, the closest one you can relate to, go and contact them. Nidhogg found me through Algiz, maybe something similar will happen to you?

If you want apathy, I won’t stop you. I’ll just tell you that you’re missing out on some of the greatest feelings one can have: feelings of accomplishment, pride, power, and satisfaction. With magic you can achieve those: hell, that’s what I did.

But one not bound by emotion can walk any path they choose.


#14

[quote=“Sevarn304, post:13, topic:2778”]You can make friends with spirits, little one. Or use spirits to make friends. You sound very depressed, you might want to get some medication.

Also, know that you’ve found an awesome community that loves destroying and creating the fabric of reality for shits and giggles. Most on the path to godhood, others… well, others are different. Me, I’m on a path to demonhood- just read some of my posts, it makes sense.

I GET OFF TOPIC TOO MUCH.

We’re all ghosts, friend. This plane is but one of many, and most here are completely retarded. We can use them however we damn well please.

And that’s the thing, FEELING. Emotions are catalysts for ritual in some instances, how would you go about ritual without them? I’m not trying to hinder you or anything, but I don’t know how one would go about reversing it if they changed their minds.

Try working with gods and demons and angels and things of the like. Or at least read up on them. Whoever sticks out to you as the friendliest, the closest one you can relate to, go and contact them. Nidhogg found me through Algiz, maybe something similar will happen to you?

If you want apathy, I won’t stop you. I’ll just tell you that you’re missing out on some of the greatest feelings one can have: feelings of accomplishment, pride, power, and satisfaction. With magic you can achieve those: hell, that’s what I did.

But one not bound by emotion can walk any path they choose.[/quote]I edited my last post. Possibly the most important detail was left out.


#15

In response to your edit, 30 days is MORE than enough time to build a good relationship with a spiritual being.


#16

Then where do I start? And which one is going to be able to give me what I want?


#17

Lycanthropy can be done, not physically but astrally- check EpicGnome’s thread in the Shapeshifting section.

That was then, this is now. Did you get it checked again? Is there any mundane reason- alcohol, diet, disease- for it?

You could cure it with magic. After all, we are all quite literally miracle workers.

And friend, five years is enough time to build a massive legion. A good spirit friend takes about a month, maybe two.


#18

[quote=“Sevarn304, post:17, topic:2778”]Lycanthropy can be done, not physically but astrally- check EpicGnome’s thread in the Shapeshifting section.

That was then, this is now. Did you get it checked again? Is there any mundane reason- alcohol, diet, disease- for it?

You could cure it with magic. After all, we are all quite literally miracle workers.

And friend, five years is enough time to build a massive legion. A good spirit friend takes about a month, maybe two.[/quote]I was born with a deficiency. My mother was the carrier, so she can’t be the donor. And yes I have, I recently had tests done again and the “levels have been rising steadily at a semi-regular pace”.

Basically my body can’t breakdown what it takes in. Good or bad.

No matter how hard I try I’m mal nourished. I never have energy to do anything either.

Specifically my liver, it doesn’t breakdown fats. They just layer on and layer on. It’s irreversible.

I was born with it, but we never seen the symptoms until I was late into elementary school. Shortly after my grandfather passed away.


#19

I have to ask, is there a chance you might be cursed?


#20

[quote=“Sevarn304, post:19, topic:2778”]I have to ask, is there a chance you might be cursed?[/quote]I honestly couldn’t tell you. Other than the things that have happened to me and my family, I don’t remember anything.

I have no recollection of the friends I had before I moved when I was 12. I have no memories of the fights I’ve been in, enemies I’ve made.

Nothing.

Just things that have affected me a great deal.

I also have gaps in my long term memory after the move. Whole years gone that I can’t remember.

I can’t remember ages 14 - 16.

My memories jump from being heart broken at 13, to dropping out high school at 16.