I think it's time for me to come back. But I'm conflicted

I’ve not been into my practice for about 6 months. I had a traumatic experience and I think I needed the time to digest. So now I’m here, I feel a pull ive felt before and subtle signs have shown recently.

The main reason I want to get back in is after this experience with Belial my mind is completely different. Before, I felt like I knew and understanded some things about life and things I’ve enjoyed. But now I find I don’t understand anything. I want my career in music to take off. And I just want help understanding the world, myself, and my passions. It’s such a simple desire but It can open so much to me. It would help me express my art in so many ways. The things holding me back right now is low self-esteem, lack of confidence, a little depression, and a lot of stress and anxiety about any and everything I could be stressed or anxious about. I’m a serious mess lol.

The spirits I have in mind are: King paimon, Belial(maybe), Lucifer(maybe), and maybe buer.

I’m open to suggestions.

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Personally speaking before doing anything else, I’d first take care of myself. Try to understand and work with the anxiety, find healthy coping mechanisms for the stress. Like journalling or going for walks along with grounding and therapy. Lucifer can help, he has healing abilities. But you have to do your part as well.

After stabilizing emotionally and mentally, move to how you want your career to take off. Make an action plan and see working with who will get you where you want. I read about your experience with Belial on another thread, so if you’re still sensitive to it then I’d suggest not going to him right now in case it triggers you. Heal from it first, then him. He won’t stop because he knows your potential and he’ll put you through the wringer as many times as needed, get a first aid kit ready before you go back to him (this is only my personal suggestion, what you’d like to do in the end is upto you).

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That is so totally awesome!!! Welcome back!!

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I started doing this not too long ago. My thing is I have come to accept many of the things I’ve learned and I don’t bash heads with myself like I used to. So mentally I feel like I’m just about there. I think a wise plan would to call a spirit to help heal past trauma even if I feel I’ve worked it out. but I also haven’t talked with a spirit in forever. I used to be realy good at it, I also used to be really good at divination. I know my divination ability has receded greatly, but I haven’t tried talking to a spirit. One of the reasons I picked buer is to help me heal also.

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Try again, one step at a time. You can do this :muscle::purple_heart:

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Seems like there is a huge shift going on right now. I just went through an amazing time with magick. I’d say it’s safe to say that I’ve reached my adepthood. However, my emotions have been extremely off for about a week. There’s something going on with everyone right now. I think we’re all affected. Take time for yourself man.Hail my Brother.

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