Ok, I’m a little buzzed/drunk & sleep-deprived, so bear with me, please.
Years ago, I had a near-death experience where I think I saw Death (he looked like the Grim Reaper, but without the scythe) & a Hellhound coming for me, in my mind’s eye, while in the ER. This has bothered me ever since then, because I don’t understand it. I’ve heard a few things about Santa Muerte, but have been seeing more things about her, lately. Basically, I’m interested in her & I think she’s interested in me, also. It’s like I could sense her presence, prompting me to contact her. She reminds me some of my deceased Grandma.
So, after watching some videos about her & crying, I went & grabbed myself a Hershey Bar, then thought she might like one, too. So I went back & got one for her. I put it on my file cabinet, not quite sure how I should make an offering to her, or if I was ready to. Spent some more time online & when I went to make myself some food, I suddenly decided to try offering her the chocolate bar & to talk to her, before I made my own food. I was wondering what to place the chocolate bar in, so it wouldn’t melt, but to also set it apart as sacred. The image of a bowl shaped like a flower I own flashed in my mind & I laughed, cause I know she put that image in my head.
So I went downstairs & wasn’t really sure how to do this. I know about the TGS & stuff, but I felt I didn’t need to do that. She was already here, ya know? I’m a chain-smoker (I am SO nicotine’s bitch!) & right now I’m smoking 2 diff brands because of money issues (I’m unemployed & can’t afford my preferred brand, anymore.) So I brought her 3 of my non-preferred, cheaper cigarettes, too. I debated which to offer/sacrifice. So I wanted to light a candle, but saw a Day of the Dead skull I had painted that lights up, so I put that on my altar. She asked me to pull out a chair for her, so I did. I lit a cigarette for her & one for myself. I opened & put the chocolate bar & other 3 cigs in the flower plate. There was liquor nearby & she said she wanted some. I poured her some rum. Then she said she didn’t want to drink alone & basically made me take a shot with her, LOL! I didn’t really want to, but I understand not wanting to drink alone & didn’t want to be rude. Now it’s 7am & I’m a buzzed, lol. She said the alcohol would also help me reach the state to talk with her better.
So I glanced at a used silver candle on a bookcase that I used to use for the Goddess & she wanted me to light it for her. I was surprised she would want a used one, but she said it was fine, if I took the top off. So I did. I was looking for an appropriate candle holder & she picked out a fancy girly one for votives (silver candle is a taper) & wanted me to use that. It had an old dime & penny in it & she wanted those, too, lol! While looking for my old athame to clean the candle holder, I felt like she was right behind me, looking over my shoulder into my “witchcraft cabinet” to see what else I had in there that she could claim, lol. She saw an old blue wine bottle I had & said I could use that for the candle holder instead. So I did.
I also found some old flower bulbs (2+ years old) that had actually started growing in the cabinet. She was like, “I want those, too.” LOL. So I agreed. She wants me to plant the little daffodils, but didn’t want the oh i forget the name - purple plant from Greek myth… it smells good. She was like, “Not that one. I don’'t want it.” So we chatted for a bit, while smoking together. She explained some things to me about my NDE, but not much. She said the Death being was Death, not Lucifer like I was beginning to suspect (I’ve been reading on here sometimes he comes hooded in a black robe.) Anyway, she said my biggest problem wasn’t even the Christian God, but how I think about religion & whatnot. Gently chastised me that I value my intellect, but my mind & thoughts are all over the place. Which I admitted. Said I needed to learn discipline & she could teach me. She said she had so much to teach me & I thanked her for that.
I asked her to please not kill either of my parents (I especially don’t get along with my mom) & she was offended & got up to leave. I apologized & started crying at one point & she hugged me. I actually could physically feel the force of her head on mine, cause I tried to raise my head & end the hug, but she wouldn’t let me, lol. She said she wasn’t done loving on me. Then she kissed my cheek and it was strange feeling her teeth against my cheek, instead of lips, but not scary or anything. Just different.
So, apparently I’ve agreed to let her cigarette & silver candle burn all the way down on my altar, unattended. I never leave anything burning unattended, but she said I had to learn to trust her, so ok. I’m also to bury the chocolate bar by my irises in the back yard, pour the rum there, & let 3 of my GOOD cigarettes (hehe) burn on top, sticking out of the soil like incense. Then plant the daffodil bulbs in a different place. As I was walking up the stairs, it dawned on me that the flower bulbs are another part of the (ahem) “circle of life” & I was so shocked they were actually growing in the cabinet before that it hadn’t come to my mind before that. That was pretty random, yet fits well.
So, um… I think I talked to Santa Muerte & she has a pretty good sense of humor – moreso than I thought she would.
Any of you that have had experiences with her, does this sound like her or am I just deluding myself? Anything else you want to say or suggest or ask, please do! Thank you!