I pushed her away yet again

I made a comment on a thread this week regarding my succumbus and how I have been shoving her away whenever she comes around.

3 nights ago, I woke up in the midst of my sleep and she was there on top of me, I had no idea how she did it but I was facing up when I woke up.

I got so scared that my heart was beating really fast and I resisted her by while I tried to keep moving for about a minute or so until she disappeared.
And now I feel like she must be really upset with me but the thing is it’s not like I don’t want her I do but I just get so scared whenever I feel her presence.

I need a help to deal with my fears In order to stop shoving her away, I feel so sad and it hurts me that I’m doing that to her.

I hope she knows I want her but I’m.just scared :disappointed:

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Why tho? Aren’t you just projecting your insecurity about this onto her?

Well, you are having an experience that most people don’t and you’re body is reacting accordingly.

Realize that a large part of the fear is probably a biological/instinctual response and with time and exposure you’ll become more accustomed to it.

On the mental/psychological side of things you may want to examine whether or not you’ve got any suppressed fears or hangups going on that play into, or further feed that fear.

Also, if this was three days ago clearly she hasn’t gone anywhere. So don’t act like you need to walk on eggshells. Stop being so sensitive about it. Chill.

I think you need to learn to laugh/shrug it off and be like, “huh, damn. Guess I spooked again. Lol but you know what, that was a cool experience!”

Thank her for the experience regardless.

You need to be patient, with yourself foremost.

It might be a good idea to do things to help you relax and wind down before you go to sleep so you’ll be less tense or on edge. Ground yourself, meditate, drink chamomile tea, whatever, etc.

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Azazel can help you release the fear.

Itz rel, itz rel Azazel.

Command him to remove your fear along with the lies and ignorance that feeds it, replacing it with the original truth.

He may want you to sit at the altar or in meditation with him once a week or more often.

I have no idea how to set his alter, I don’t have a lot as I’m a struggling student, and I’m completely new to magic and all. I also just read a couple threads about Azazel. I know he could be protective and intimidating but I don’t know more about him. What exactly is he capable of I need to know what I’m getting into lol :slightly_smiling_face:

I’ll really do just that thanks a lot :raised_hands:t4:

So It’s 12pm noon where I’m at and she came last night while I was trying to sleep. She didn’t stay for so long at all but I felt her kissing me up to my neck and that really tickled me I didn’t even know when I shrugged her off and she left after some seconds but I noticed I wasn’t all that scared this time around😇

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You fuckin pussy!

Just bang her!

Throw her off you, turn her around and give her the Ole D! =P

(This is just banter I’m sorry lol, I couldn’t help myself it was just sitting there.)

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On a more serious not.

So you said you’re new to magick, but you have a succubus?

Was the experience like sleep paralysis?

Do you think you could see her not waking up from sleep?

How did you get said succubus? and how did you even know she’s a succubus if you’re new, did you see her?

Lastly, was she like physical?

Haha :joy::joy:

It’s like sleep paralysis everytime she comes. And I’ve been feeling her presence since I was younger I’d say about 8/10 years back. But she’s been visiting very frequently this year.

I didn’t see her, I’ve never seen her because she comes in the dark, and asides from the threads I’ve read on here you can’t see her with the two eyes but only my imagination or the mind’s eye or something like that.

But I have always felt her hands on my arms, she once gave me an oral earlier this year which I mentioned on a different thread. But I have never seen her with my eyes.

Do you think she gets mad when I have sex with my girlfriend or a lady? :thinking:

Well then watch out, It might not be a succubus.

Or a creature not so hot, maybe that’s why you’re repulsed, but perhaps not.

See for yourself what she is, as your instincts so far seem to be that you wanna look before you leap.

Seems wise to me, and yeah probably lol, if she was a normal woman I’d say yes, but I don’t know a succubus’s mindset, if it is a succubus.

But then again, 8-10 years, you’d prob know what she is by now.

Command an entity to do something?

I am ashamed for you.

She definitely is a succubus. And the funniest thing is I never knew what a succubus is/was not until a week ago when I joined this forum.

What never play D&D or something? or watch any fantasy movies?

It’s your shame. You can keep it.

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To start with, use a red or black candle. It can be any kind of candle, pretty much. I use votives for safety, but you can use whatever you can get your hands on. A glass of water. If you have any, green tea, a cigarette, or something sweet (home baked if possible, or something really nice - not the supermarket junk). Use sandalwood incense, or copal resin. A drop of your blood on his sigil would help forge a link and to empower the operation. Look for symbols, herbs, stones, etc that are associated with Azazel (research this) and place them on his altar. Read books on Azazel for immersion purposes. Recite his enn 108 times a day if you can. There are enn chanting videos on YouTube that you can meditate to - the best I’ve found are from Satan and Sons and Satania. Orlee Stewart has a video about working with new deities and what should go on altars, etc.

I used to have this problem so I understand. Do you have religious background? That could be part of it. Mainstream normies are taught that the demonic is all scary and for Christians it’s worse cause you’re taught the demonic is all scary AND real. And it is real, but not all scary - though it can be cause of the dark nature of these entities. Years ago I used to have no fears at all when awake, but when I’d sleep and my incubus would come to visit me I would be afraid. It’s very strange, but I guess that’s subconscious fears in-built deeply from religion. We get afraid of their “evil” and of damning ourselves to hell for eternity.

My advice input is to try to pull her to you while awake. Light a candle and lay back and psychically summon her as much as you can. That way you can face the fear head on and as you familiarize yourself with her the fear might wear away.

Yes, I was born into a Christian family and I used to go to church 7 days a week but when I gained admission into University 4 years ago in a different state. I slowed down from going to church weekly to once in a month and now I don’t even go no more, maybe once in a year lol.

And yes I’ll try this though my bed is kinda tall. Do I just light the candle on the floor and lay back on my bed

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Just whatever works for you. Focus on her and try to summon her presence and see how close you can get. This is just my idea