I made a comment on a thread this week regarding my succumbus and how I have been shoving her away whenever she comes around.
3 nights ago, I woke up in the midst of my sleep and she was there on top of me, I had no idea how she did it but I was facing up when I woke up.
I got so scared that my heart was beating really fast and I resisted her by while I tried to keep moving for about a minute or so until she disappeared.
And now I feel like she must be really upset with me but the thing is itās not like I donāt want her I do but I just get so scared whenever I feel her presence.
I need a help to deal with my fears In order to stop shoving her away, I feel so sad and it hurts me that Iām doing that to her.
Why tho? Arenāt you just projecting your insecurity about this onto her?
Well, you are having an experience that most people donāt and youāre body is reacting accordingly.
Realize that a large part of the fear is probably a biological/instinctual response and with time and exposure youāll become more accustomed to it.
On the mental/psychological side of things you may want to examine whether or not youāve got any suppressed fears or hangups going on that play into, or further feed that fear.
Also, if this was three days ago clearly she hasnāt gone anywhere. So donāt act like you need to walk on eggshells. Stop being so sensitive about it. Chill.
I think you need to learn to laugh/shrug it off and be like, āhuh, damn. Guess I spooked again. Lol but you know what, that was a cool experience!ā
Thank her for the experience regardless.
You need to be patient, with yourself foremost.
It might be a good idea to do things to help you relax and wind down before you go to sleep so youāll be less tense or on edge. Ground yourself, meditate, drink chamomile tea, whatever, etc.
I have no idea how to set his alter, I donāt have a lot as Iām a struggling student, and Iām completely new to magic and all. I also just read a couple threads about Azazel. I know he could be protective and intimidating but I donāt know more about him. What exactly is he capable of I need to know what Iām getting into lol
So Itās 12pm noon where Iām at and she came last night while I was trying to sleep. She didnāt stay for so long at all but I felt her kissing me up to my neck and that really tickled me I didnāt even know when I shrugged her off and she left after some seconds but I noticed I wasnāt all that scared this time aroundš
Itās like sleep paralysis everytime she comes. And Iāve been feeling her presence since I was younger Iād say about 8/10 years back. But sheās been visiting very frequently this year.
I didnāt see her, Iāve never seen her because she comes in the dark, and asides from the threads Iāve read on here you canāt see her with the two eyes but only my imagination or the mindās eye or something like that.
But I have always felt her hands on my arms, she once gave me an oral earlier this year which I mentioned on a different thread. But I have never seen her with my eyes.
To start with, use a red or black candle. It can be any kind of candle, pretty much. I use votives for safety, but you can use whatever you can get your hands on. A glass of water. If you have any, green tea, a cigarette, or something sweet (home baked if possible, or something really nice - not the supermarket junk). Use sandalwood incense, or copal resin. A drop of your blood on his sigil would help forge a link and to empower the operation. Look for symbols, herbs, stones, etc that are associated with Azazel (research this) and place them on his altar. Read books on Azazel for immersion purposes. Recite his enn 108 times a day if you can. There are enn chanting videos on YouTube that you can meditate to - the best Iāve found are from Satan and Sons and Satania. Orlee Stewart has a video about working with new deities and what should go on altars, etc.
I used to have this problem so I understand. Do you have religious background? That could be part of it. Mainstream normies are taught that the demonic is all scary and for Christians itās worse cause youāre taught the demonic is all scary AND real. And it is real, but not all scary - though it can be cause of the dark nature of these entities. Years ago I used to have no fears at all when awake, but when Iād sleep and my incubus would come to visit me I would be afraid. Itās very strange, but I guess thatās subconscious fears in-built deeply from religion. We get afraid of their āevilā and of damning ourselves to hell for eternity.
My advice input is to try to pull her to you while awake. Light a candle and lay back and psychically summon her as much as you can. That way you can face the fear head on and as you familiarize yourself with her the fear might wear away.
Yes, I was born into a Christian family and I used to go to church 7 days a week but when I gained admission into University 4 years ago in a different state. I slowed down from going to church weekly to once in a month and now I donāt even go no more, maybe once in a year lol.
And yes Iāll try this though my bed is kinda tall. Do I just light the candle on the floor and lay back on my bed
